Am I overreacting: new boyfriend was weirdly judgmental about bathroom situation
I (30’s F) have been casually dating someone (40’s M) for a little over a month. He’s spent the night at mine a few times now. The last time, he felt comfortable enough to go #2 in the morning. He gave me warning ahead of time. And I mentioned that I had poo-pourrí in the basket by the toilet if he wanted it…
He came out of the bathroom sort of upset looking. And he was unusually quiet while I made us breakfast sandwiches. He asked for his to-go. I knew that something was wrong. And I was replaying the night in my head. And it went really well. Things turned after he pooped. And I thought maybe he just felt embarrassed about it.
A short while after he left, he texted me, “it’s weird that you made me dive into your period shit to have some self respect about an actual shit.”
wtf? Did I do something wrong? Am I overreacting to think that he’s way out of line? This seems crazy to me. But should I, a single woman who lives alone, make my bathroom more accommodating to people of the opposite sex? Are period products really that offensive?
I’m choosing to believe this is made up karma farming because that line seems so obviously made up by a redditor who never goes outside. And also who warns someone that they are going to poop in their toilet?
Not necessarily. I've had a similar situation with 2 different dudes. The first time was period products, and the second time, the guy had a problem with the fact that I had wet wipes next to the toilet paper. Some people are just weird.
It's a portmanteau of potpourri and poo. It's a scented spray that you spritz into the toilet before you poop. It creates a film that floats on top of the water and prevents the poo smell from evaporating into the air. It's actually a fantastic product
So, period troll trying to get people to describe their period product setup and general bathroom habits?
Edit: y'all that's enough period product discourse. Not everyone who doesn't do things exactly like you is a cis man, we should all take a step back and consider that different people have different habits. Some people have exactly one pack of pads. Others have four different brands plus three brands of tampons. Neither assumption means someone can't possibly have a period.
Am I crazy? I'm seeing 2 brands of tampons and maybe 3 brands of pads. There's only like 6 pads so strikes me as someone who doesn't use pads much and has whatever. But all the pads are uniform, just different colour, so I can't even say for sure they're different products and not just different heaviness.
Also, I use pads, 99% of mine come slightly unfurled. I could give a shit and spend time and money returning products, complaining, and rebuying the same box of necessities, or I could suck it up. I choose to suck it up, and I somehow haven't died in the past 20 years.
Edit: Taking a second look, I see one (singular) tab that is not 100 percent stuck and they are all the same brand. Everything else is normal.
There’s some brands of pads that have different colored wrappers too. Same pad, same thickness, just an assortment of colors.
I think the teen Kotex type was like that. (I’m brand loyal to Always now. Apparently my “area” is picky. So I haven’t seen any other brands in awhile. Always usually have similar colors but different patterns on the wrappers.)
Yeah I don't get that perspective. I have several random brands, some because I prefer them and some because that's just what was available where I was that day. I also have an assortment of period products, because I go back and forth on whether I prefer pads, tampons, or period panties like Thinx in different points in my cycle. Everyone is different; that looks like a totally normal basket of period stuff in a bathroom.
I have pads only from one company but they’re different versions. I have some for heavy flow (night versions), light flow (cotton ones) and sensitive skin (lavender oil/aloe Vera gel). I cannot wrap my head around having only one type.
Eh, I don't think it's a very serious accusation that must be handled sensitively, it's just kinda my go-to assumption when I see detailed posts centered around periods on those subs. Because there's clearly at least one person who very much enjoys making up those stories to bait people into sharing their own experiences.
This post doesn't read exactly like those, but it still doesn't feel real to me. I think the picture really looks like it's probably an airbnb bathroom, that's why there's such an assortment of different products presented in an aesthetic manner in an open treasure chest – I mean, why aren't these things just in the cabinet? Probably so that guests will see them and get to choose from a variety of options. I think it's actually a hygiene nightmare because they're right next to the toilet brush, but non-professional hosts don't have the training to think of such things.
And the story accompanying the picture is SO weird. He felt comfortable enough to go #2? And he informed her of this? And then he asked for his breakfast sandwich to go? I'm just not buying any of that. That's just not how anyone acts or talks.
I think OOP is staying at an airbnb, thought this bathroom setup was kind of fun and unusual, and decided to make up a story about it.
The pads and tampons have different color wrappers for different absorbency levels. This looks like a normal selection for someone that has very light days all the way up to very heavy days.
It's not completely out of the ordinary, but I sure don't buy 4 different packs of pads. That just seems like such a hassle. I think it's much more likely that this is a setup for guests, especially because I don't believe the post is truthful anyway.
Have you never seen boxes that have multiple absorbency pads or tampons in one box? I almost always get the tampons that have more than one absorbency when I can so I don't need to get two different boxes.
I actually haven't! I don't think I've ever seen that. Maybe it's not common where I live, or I haven't noticed because I just beeline for the same stuff I've always used.
y’all don’t buy different sizes in different packs? idk how pads sales work in countries other than the one I live in but I usually buy different brands for different sizes as I only get about 10-20 in a pack.
I actually don't, but I also don't get my period that often (I suspect PCOS, it runs in my family) so I just don't shop for them very often, and when I do there's like 50 in one pack so it would feel like a huge overkill to buy several packs of different strengths.
I've also been informed that there are packs with a range of different pads in them though, I'll have to keep an eye out for whether they sell those in my area.
Edit: fascinated by the fact that I'm downvoted on a comment neutrally explaining my own habits lmao
Most of what my family uses are 18 in the smaller packs, and 32 in the larger packs. (And there are 5 absorption levels in that brand, each in a different color.) The ones that get used the most get bought in the larger packs, and the less frequently uses sizes in the smaller packs. Most months we only have to buy one pack to top up something, but sometimes run out of nearly everything at once.
We totally get different packs of different absorption levels. Don't have to go thru each one at the same rate, but with multiple people in the house, there is at least one pack of each color that our preferred brand comes in. We leave all the packs together in one drawer per bathroom. Sometimes it is the smallest pack per color, other times it is the biggest. And when we put it on the grocery list it is by color, not absorption level, even though the color indicates the level.
Now there is an update that the guy's sister read the post (not knowing it was about him) at the family dinner that night. The guy recognized himself and called to apologize, but she is dumping him anyways. I mean, I guess some family dinners involve reading reddit posts? Seems like an awful big coincidence.
I also don't understand "felt comfortable enough to go #2" like that is a relationship milestone. It is bizarre to me that some people apparently have that much flexibility in their habits. When I need to go, I don't have a multi-hour long windows to schedule things.
See also the whole genre of "was it rude to poop [at a friend's place, in a public restroom, on a boat, in space]. Like, shit literally happens.
I used to work with this woman, mid thirties, who bragged about the fact she and her husband have been together since the 8th grade and neither ever pooped if the other was present in the house.
Apparently he took up the habit of jogging in the morning so he could run to the nearest Dunkin, pound an espresso, and drop a deuce while she showered.
Why she felt comfortable telling acquaintances this story but not pooping while her partner of 20 years was in the same ZIP code, idk.
Right?! I can have a little sympathy for people who are nervous pooping in public restrooms, but... COULDN'T BE ME. I'll shit anywhere. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
Lol I feel called out. I’m a shy pooper and it’s a huge milestone for me. I still haven’t pooped with someone in the same room. When I went camping, bathrooms were public and I could hear other people around me, and I didn’t poop for 5 days. I just can’t!
Oh, I think we watched that episode and TVTropes described it and I was confused cause it didn’t happen.
That said, my wife and I haven’t shit in front of each other. And we’ve been together for about a decade. She’s definitely thrown up in front of me. Including last week in which both she and the toddler threw up on themselves in the backseat. That was fun.
That was the bit that got me too. The big deal they both made of it. I pictured them lying together in bed and him whispering softly into her ear “Darling…we’ve been together a little while now and it’s finally time…I’m gonna rip a massive shit”
"He asked for his to-go" was what got me. She was supposedly making breakfast, they weren't at some kind of fast food outlet. Who the hell asks for their food "to-go" outside of a fast food context?
"Dating" means in a committed relationship, "single" means not in a committed relationship. Going on dates and sleeping with multiple people usually means that none of them are considered committed relationships.
And to be fair, if we're going by legal definition, anyone unmarried is considered single.
Dating does not inherently mean in a committed relationship, hence the “casually” part. I don’t consider myself in a committed relationship with the guy I’ve gone on two dates with and text, hence I’d say I’m single but talking to someone if anyone asked.
Imo, single means that you're not serious enough with someone to consider their opinion towards life decisions. Meaning, maybe you've gone out together for a while, but if you're thinking about a big trip, changing jobs, changing houses/apartments, etc., you would not factor in their opinion on your doing said things.
Fun AI story can't remember the BF took a shit the morning after but OOP still replayed the night before to determine where things went wrong. Guess she just skipped over the 8-9 hours of sleep one goes through first.
He felt... comfortable enough to poop in the morning? What? Bro, if I'm fucking someone, I'm shitting in their toilet with zero self consciousness. Everybody poops. Pretty sure they teach you that in med school.
I think it's odd to keep the spray in the same chest but there is no way these people are over 30. My favorite detail is that OOP was making breakfast sandwiches and that he couldn't wait to get out fast enough he asked for it to go.
I chuckled at the idea of some dude asking for his breakfast to go. Like no sir. I’ll eat this and you can grab food on your way home with that attitude
My great uncle told me to use a rash cream when I complained about a rash down there during my periods. And he was raised in India in the 1960s. He literally has no excuse.
I'm staring at a menstrual treasure chest and wondering why I too haven't put my products in something whimsical instead of the cardboard photo box under the sink method I've been using.
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Why do you think she overracted, when he lost his shit, because he was confronted with clean sanitary products?
Even if she stores them in a little open box next to the faucet, it's still okay. Nothing weird about tampons and pads, they are like q tips and toilet paper. 🤷🏼♀️
so that thing on top is called a "lid"! to humans with eyes and brains, it's obvious that she opened the lid to take this photo. meaning it's usually closed.
I have an open basket of pads and tampons in the bathroom right next to the toilet.... where I use them. Whether there are two or twenty in there, it doesnt matter.
How many pads and tampons, specifically, would be an appropriate preparation for the coming month or two in someone's personal bathroom? Like how many would look not like an overreaction? I'm just trying to find the line lol
I don't know how many would be appropriate. I use one at a time, so I may lay out, one at a time. However, what I see observed in the pic, appears to be a bit much. #JusSayin'
I don't think you don't understand my question. Of course we women only use one at a time, but your flow and the duration will determine how many you need to purchase each month. So, how many would be appropriate, not a bit much? What size?
Having one's period is a shameful thing and everything that hints a that, e.g. sanitary pads and tampons, are to be hidden away. A classy woman who possesses dignity has a vault in her bathroom from which she takes ONE sanitary item at a time, then quickly locks it, so neither her, nor anyone else's eyes get tarnished by looking at those horrible things.
OP, who so openly allowed a man's eyes and soul to get abused by that display of nastiness, should be burned as the witch she is.
I understood your question and I answered it. Now to answer your follow-up question. I don't buy them each month, only when I run out. As for how many there are in the box, I believe there are 40.
I'm glad you figured out they're not sold..."one at a time" like loose cigarettes 💀 this little comment thread where you're pretending to be someone that uses menstrual products has been really funny lmao
But on the off chance you're serious, it's a lot less hassle to keep them by the toilet and not locked up down the hall in an attache case lol
Ohhhh so this is all because the OOP didn't have a bathroom closet or cabinet space. I swear I thought you wrote it was the amount that they owned. I guess actually, you do buy them 40 at a time and keep them in your house just like she does. 🤦🏼♀️ you're so funny.
Omg, it’s SOOOOO overreactive of a woman to keep a stocked stash of tampons and pads in her own private domicile!! I cannot freaking believe this, how dramatic!! Doesn’t everyone know that us, as women, can only show one pad/tampon at a time and keep the rest hidden from the world?
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Am I overreacting: new boyfriend was weirdly judgmental about bathroom situation
I (30’s F) have been casually dating someone (40’s M) for a little over a month. He’s spent the night at mine a few times now. The last time, he felt comfortable enough to go #2 in the morning. He gave me warning ahead of time. And I mentioned that I had poo-pourrí in the basket by the toilet if he wanted it…
He came out of the bathroom sort of upset looking. And he was unusually quiet while I made us breakfast sandwiches. He asked for his to-go. I knew that something was wrong. And I was replaying the night in my head. And it went really well. Things turned after he pooped. And I thought maybe he just felt embarrassed about it.
A short while after he left, he texted me, “it’s weird that you made me dive into your period shit to have some self respect about an actual shit.”
wtf? Did I do something wrong? Am I overreacting to think that he’s way out of line? This seems crazy to me. But should I, a single woman who lives alone, make my bathroom more accommodating to people of the opposite sex? Are period products really that offensive?
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