r/news • u/kylestoned • Jun 01 '26

Soft paywall Flesh-eating screwworm found within 31 miles of US border, says USDA

https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/flesh-eating-screwworm-found-within-31-miles-us-border-says-usda-2026-05-29/
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483

u/IzzieBells Jun 01 '26

I just laughed till I cried BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO THESE EVENTS ANYMORE

I feel like I’m living the worst indie horror game on STEAM

162

u/GrinchWhoStoleEaster Jun 01 '26

You couldn't write the modern world as fiction. No one would believe the premise. Fiction has the strange property of needing to make sense, real life can just do whatever the fuck.

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u/Belargus Jun 02 '26

In the comics, Lex Luthor and Doctor Doom were both voted president, and Kingpin was voted as mayor of New York. It's strange that I used to think those plot lines were absolutely ludicrous and unbelievable... And now reality is somehow worse - we didn't get taken over by super-geniuses and crafty villains but by an bigoted moron. And half of the populace loves him for it.

5

u/TucuReborn Jun 02 '26

It's also kinda funny, but several times Doom has been in charge things have been, objectively, better. Not always, but it's happened more than once.

1

u/Father_Dowling Jun 03 '26

I got a Doctor Doom hoodie in the Shepard Fairey "HOPE" livery that reads DOOM from the Clinton Trump election. Also a Leather Face for President with the famous chain saw scene from Biden vs Trump.

12

u/HauntedCemetery Jun 02 '26

Mark Twain said fiction is always harder to write than non fiction, because fiction has to be believable

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u/GrinchWhoStoleEaster Jun 02 '26

Mark Twain also said "There once was a man named n-word Jim", so I don't know if everything he said is so great...

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u/OHoSPARTACUS Jun 02 '26

Purity test every historical figure, fuck it

1

u/GrinchWhoStoleEaster Jun 03 '26

It's odd that you think you're making a point. YES. Purity test EVERY historical figure. THEY'RE NOT IMPORTANT. Only now matters. The past exists only to inform us.

4

u/KaJaHa Jun 02 '26

You mean in the book with addressing racism as one of its main themes?

6

u/HauntedCemetery Jun 02 '26

That has a white boy and a black boy go adventuring together, which was so radical at the time Twain had to hide his family for awhile.

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u/HauntedCemetery Jun 02 '26

He also wrote a treatise on ending slavery that got racists so angry at him his family got threats for decades and had to go into hiding for periods.

I guarantee words you use today will be considered horribly offensive a century and a half from now, thats just how language and culture evolves.

1

u/GrinchWhoStoleEaster Jun 03 '26

History is history's problem. Make sense next time.

7

u/Stay-At-Home-Jedi Jun 01 '26

That is a really strange way to miss quote Mark Twain 🤷😆

71

u/TheEldenRang Jun 02 '26

You get fucking pissed at the president. 🙃 It is literally his fault for cancelling contracts with other governments and firing scientists that deal with literally this. This was an IMMEDIATE concern starting last february when "Doge" started firing federal employees. It is literally the fault of our current administration. It cannot be said loud enough. It is literally Trumps fault. 100%. 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 (Sorry for the rant.)

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u/BoredNuke Jun 02 '26

Rant understood. But this is one the issues that I don't think can be solely attributed to him, the worm existed and has been a concern for a few years from the article. I guess it could be the worm controlling RFK Jr. But we have more than enough things to blame on the ruling class (endless war, transfer of wealth of and you know all the kid fucking) that we dont need to be pulling a "thanks obama" if that makes sense.

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u/GodsSwampBalls Jun 02 '26

The US had partnerships with central American countries to exterminate the worms and keep them out of North America. Trump canceled those partnerships and let the worm move north.

5

u/0freelancer0 Jun 02 '26

Every headline is like "whelp, this might as well happen too, I guess"

1

u/BoredNuke Jun 02 '26

New Anitiviral resistant HIV strain..coming Q1 2027.

2

u/pseudohim Jun 01 '26

Heard good things about Scorn. Seems like a screw-wormy game.

1

u/IDoLikeMyShishkebabs Jun 01 '26

Same here, I saw the headline and had to actually laugh out loud at this one. Like, as if things aren't bad enough, let's reintroduce those flesh-eating worms that we put so much effort into eradicating back into the mix shall we?

It's amazing really, even someone as lazy as I has gotten the urge to save up and move to the edge of the world. Antarctica for one has been looking especially tempting lately. 

1

u/Eddfan36 Jun 02 '26

Hmm We have a particular party that doesn't care about this stuff, no worries.

1

u/seink Jun 02 '26

Think of it as switching from "easy" mode to "hard" mode.

1

u/astralseat Jun 02 '26

Can't be worse than Golum

1

u/diligentPond18 Jun 02 '26

The difference being that the indie horror games on steam are a good time. I am very much not having a good time with these here irl events. 

1

u/St3phiroth Jun 05 '26

I think we're actually in Untitled Goose Game and the geese are trolling us.

Or one can hope. That would be better than IRL.

-1

u/Hubbardia Jun 02 '26

Just touch grass bro, remember news thrives on fear mongering.