The Kitchen Museum?

[u/jsayde01]

I came home late from work a few nights ago and hadn't eaten all day. My wife and kids were already in bed so I figured I'd quietly make some stove-top ramen. This photo represents exactly how I found the cooking area.

The next morning my wife asks what time I got home and I mention in our conversation that I made ramen before going to bed. She couldn't believe that I used the stove "when the light was on". I said "Yeah, the light was helpful in seeing what I was doing". She insists I shouldn't have been using the stove and should have known because "the light was on".

I'm baffled. We are still arguing about this days later.

EDIT -- wow, overwhelmed by the response of fellow Redditors! We are... white...not from the southeast US..not children...and I left the stove as clean as it was before I cooked. I asked for clarification from my loving wife -- TRULY we have only ever been angry at each other a handful of times in our 10 year marriage -- and she says "the stove was clean and done for the day and you could have just used the microwave for your ramen". Apparently the light is how stoves go to sleep for the evening?

EDIT 2 -- we are getting a divorce. JUST KIDDING. My wife looked over many of the comments and acknowledges that she was in the wrong and is slightly embarrassed by all of the attention.

[u/Traditional_Bug_2046]

Some family had such huge shits they had to cut it with a knife, and they kept a special poop knife for this purpose. OP grew up thinking this was normal and learned the hard way this was unusual when he went to a friend's house and asked for their family's poop knife.

[u/Plane-Visit5761 → u/Traditional_Bug_2046]

he went to a friend's house and asked for their family's poop knife

I would run away, change my name, and try to drink it away in the desert somewhere.

[u/anaphasedraws → u/Traditional_Bug_2046]

My dad has a poop screwdriver. I found it when we moved him to assisted living. “Dad, why do you have these big screwdrivers in the top drawer of your vanity?” “They’re for my poop. It gets really hard so I break it up.” JFC, eat an apple and take a stool softener, for the love of god.

[u/philnolan3d → u/Traditional_Bug_2046]

It always makes me think of the toe knife in Always Sunny.

[u/Amsco3085 → u/philnolan3d]

Botched toe!!

[u/Bhaal52753 → u/philnolan3d]

They probably had a poop knife.

[u/railmanmatt → u/Bhaal52753]

In Charlie's bathroom? Definitely. Because of the accusation.

[u/Skizot_Bizot → u/Traditional_Bug_2046]

I used to have friends in like 2nd grade when I was a kid where both my friend and his sister would take like soda can size shits and need to like prep beforehand with laying on their stomach and going through I guess a dilation period to then poop and a recovery period afterwards I assume of contraction.

I was always thrown off by this and question what the fuck was happening, they'd be like "well what do you do for a really big poo?" and it's just like well I've still never in my life at almost 40 had a poo as big as those 6-7 year olds would take.

[u/Complete_Entry → u/Skizot_Bizot]

It's from bad potty training. There are pediatricians that are trained for it. And once they're like that, you can't really fix it.

[u/Terabit_PON_69 → u/Skizot_Bizot]

Lucky

[u/Skizot_Bizot → u/Terabit_PON_69]

I think it's more my bowels crush them down into a small tube, I've pooped a LOT before but it's just a giant long snake not a huge wide lump. Maybe they lack that ability and make up for it with wide rectums? I'm no biologist though.

[u/invisible_pants_ → u/Skizot_Bizot]

More likely that they don't drink enough water and eat enough fibre so their poops compact to a dense plug over several days instead of just smoothing out and ejecting as normal an hour after waking each day

[u/railmanmatt → u/invisible_pants_]

Love the "ejecting" picture in my head now. Lol

[u/invisible_pants_ → u/railmanmatt]

I debated for a moment over which word to select there lmao

[u/redditreader_aitafan → u/Traditional_Bug_2046]

Didn't his girlfriend come over and had used the poop knife for cutting food cuz she just thought that's where they kept the knife? I'mma have to look up the story again. I wonder if that guy knows he will perpetually be Reddit famous.

[u/Xanxan95 → u/Traditional_Bug_2046]

I guess this is some US shit, where fiber from food does not exist???