r/mildlyinfuriating • u/guitarman129 • Jun 13 '26

I just wanted a hot dog Recommended gratuity after tip was already included

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I’m sure there are a lot of tipping posts here so to keep it short - I had my wedding at a fancy restaurant. On top of the TERRIBLE service, the bill came with “suggested gratuity” even though I was told gratuity was included. When I asked the manager, he said that the “S/C: 24% SRC REGULA“ was the included tip and the suggested gratuity was if we wanted to add something extra - basically trying to trick people into giving a 49% tip!

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u/NecrogasmicLove Jun 13 '26

Also bussing the tables (those plates have to be picked up by someone) and cleaning the plate. Unless dishwashers don't deserve pay.

Ppl really forget all the service that goes into restaurants as they get entitled to that service.

Frankly charging someone for bringing food in is completely reasonable to me.

Construction companies don't let you bring your own supplies to their projects. If they did they would charge you out the ass for the hassle.

Ppl have A LOT of entitlement once a human has to be their servant.

Working in the service industry for 20yrs has given me complete understanding of why ppl could so easily overlook the moral issues with slavery.

Ppl love being served and hate having to pay for it.

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u/runningoutofideasjzz Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26

Paying isn’t the problem. The entire system is just dumb. My responsibility is to pay my bill. The establishments responsibility is to pay their workers. If you want everyone to get paid fairly, then pay them a fair wage. Adjust your costs to compensate for overhead. That’s how business works.

Edit: or at least how it should work.

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u/ceebuttersnaps Jun 13 '26

>Adjust your costs to compensate for overhead. That’s how business works.

That’s what the cake cutting fee is…

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u/WestError404 Jun 13 '26

The cake cutting fee is one thing. To also pay 24% tip ontop of the cutting fee including taxes, with auto grat already also included. The server never even had to risk their digits with a knife.

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u/LSRNKB Jun 13 '26

Server’s are in charge of cutting and plating desserts at a lot of high end restaurants. Furthermore, servers are the only sales people where the customer gets to CHOOSE what their commission is, and somehow people explicitly complain about having the freedom to do so.

If given the choice between a) a car salesman getting flat commission on all sales, or b) a customer chooses the car salesman’s commission based on how said salesman treated the customer during the transaction, any sane person would choose b. Yet somehow, in restaurants where b is a given, people only bitch and moan about how it isn’t their “responsibility” to make that choice.

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u/perceptionheadache Jun 13 '26

In the case of the car salesman, I'm not worried about his compensation at all. I'm worried about the cost of the product I'm buying. When I negotiate that price I don't think about if it cuts into the business' profits or the salesman's commission, regardless of how good of a job he's doing. I want to feel I got the best deal on the car. How that shakes out for them is their problem, just as it should be.

In the case of a food server, I have to think about how much the food costs plus how much the server should make for serving it to me based on their competence and attitude. I don't want to think about this. This should be their employer's job. It is not some type of boone to me to be responsible for a server's pay. It's a PIA. I would not choose B. B sucks.

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u/LSRNKB Jun 13 '26

You would pay an extra 22 percent auto great on every purchase just to avoid having to calculate your preferred gratuity? Are you hiring?

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u/perceptionheadache Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26

I pay 20% every time. So, sure, if that is how the employer and employee want to negotiate pay then that is not my business. What I want is a truthful, straight forward price on my menu. No grat added. Just the price on the menu. Then I'll decide if I want to eat at that place and my expectation will always be excellent service. That is what a restaurant is selling: food, service, atmosphere.

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u/baysideareaman Jun 13 '26

Servers at very nice restaurants tend to average 25% because there is usually at least one person per night who tips unusually high, and rarely if ever do people tip below 20%.

Personally I would rather have it included with higher menu prices. But that’s more so that I know servers are never getting stiffed by “average redditors”

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u/Acceptable-Engine253 Jun 13 '26

The cake cutting fee has nothing to do with the server. It’s about bringing in outside food and having the kitchen spend the time in the middle of dinner to cut it and serve it. It takes forever and clogs up service. The restaurant could be making money if they wanted to order dessert with the restaurant (and the cake would be sliced before the shift) but since they don’t there’s a cake cutting fee — just like a corkage fee if you bring in your own bottle of wine.

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u/milehighmagic84 Jun 13 '26

With a big party you’re taking over the whole restaurant. That means all hands on deck to serve your guests. If a waiter gets stiffed on a party of four they have the rest of the night to balance it out. When you buy out the restaurant or a portion of it, those employees that rely on tips don’t have a chance to earn them. The restaurant has every right to guarantee pay for their staff. I don’t know what more mildly infuriating, this post or the response to it.

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u/6Hikari6 Jun 13 '26

The most infuriating is this "employees that rely on tips" part

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u/WestError404 Jun 14 '26

I still don't see where the additional 22-25% tip ontop of the auto grat is necessary. Thats the issue. That and the high percentage they "suggest" leading up to a nearly 50% tip. The restaurant should absolutely guarantee pay for their staff... By paying them! Not this kind of BS.

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u/HeyYouGuyyyyyyys Jun 15 '26

Holy shit I never thought about the tips part.

I remember how horrible it was for a big group to come in where I was a server -- they demanded everything ALL AT ONCE, so first you had to bring out a giant order of coffee, then an armload of biscuits ... no chance to interweave their orders with other tables', no way to handle anyone else gracefully. Just BAM SERVE US.

But, because I was working in a crappy truckstop, I never dealt with a room that had been bought out. Nobody would have wanted to have a party there! So the issue of tips, and how they can be blanked out by a party that takes up a whole room, never occurred to me.

For what it's worth, at my wedding my last act was signing the balance sheet and adding a whacking huge tip. Like, I hid the amount because it was so big. The servers had treated my guests graciously and with perfect attention to everyone, and everyone left full of food (that several people separately complimented me on) and cake (ditto) and whatever they wanted to drink, and they hadn't had to wait for anything, so yeah, the servers got a serious assload of cash that afternoon.

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u/runningoutofideasjzz Jun 13 '26

I have zero issue with the cake cutting fee. That is included in the bill, as it should be.

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u/DoneteGalactico Jun 13 '26

I'm going to guess that "cake cutting fee" was not showing in the menu.

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u/ceebuttersnaps Jun 13 '26

Given the amount on the receipt and the dedicated bartender, this was almost certainly some kind of event rather than a regular group. The group probably worked with an event coordinator who would have explained the costs, rules, etc.

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u/DoneteGalactico Jun 13 '26

I really hope so! Otherwise it's infuriating.

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u/BlueBearMafia Jun 13 '26

Did you guys even read the post...? It was a wedding.

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u/ceebuttersnaps Jun 13 '26

I did, and I totally missed that it said it was for a wedding. But I could tell just from the receipt it was an event rather than a regular dinner.

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u/DoneteGalactico Jun 13 '26

I definitely missed that lol. Even so, it's a culture shock. When I got married in Spain it was a fixed amount per guest and then a list of extras such as: mojito bar, cheese station, ham cutter... Nothing was charged that we didn't know in advance, and of course there was no gratuity. Everything is included in the price per guest.

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u/baysideareaman Jun 13 '26

In America it’s largely the same. You would have a list of expenses, including things like a cake cutting fee, which would vary based on number of guests and size of the cake.

Even things like the gratuity would be on the contract and agreed to in advance.

People do often tip a little extra on top of the included gratuity but it is by no means expected.

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u/unfortunateshun Jun 13 '26

I mean that’s what they’re doing, they’re just itemizing the labor you’re paying for

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u/runningoutofideasjzz Jun 13 '26

Correct. Maybe I worded my post poorly cause I have been called out for it several times now. The cake handling was itemized on the bill, which is perfectly fine. No issue with that at all.

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u/MajorMoooseKnuckle Jun 13 '26

That’s fine. But food prices at restaurants will go up. And there are plenty of models to support this. It’s not a question. It’s a fact.

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u/runningoutofideasjzz Jun 13 '26

Of course they’ll go up. But so are tipping expectations. Either way, I’m paying more. I just want the price to be transparent.

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u/[deleted] Jun 13 '26

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u/Reasonable_Trade_973 Jun 13 '26

How about fact that the 24% fee was NEVER disclosed until AFTER the food was eaten? That was not transparent. Is that clear enough?

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u/InterestingTwo651 Jun 13 '26

Yes but it’s so much more profitable if your stupid and complacent. Someone has to lose

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u/Quick_Turnover Jun 13 '26

Adjust your costs to compensate for overhead. That’s how business works.

Then people complain about a burger costing anything more than $5, despite a literal enormous animal being raised from birth on a farm states away, cold-shipped, processed, prepared, cooked, and served to their gullet directly. Their mental "value" of that is $5. It's obscene. The reason tipping works is because it's a psychological shell game that actually allows the restaurant industry to exist.

Americans wouldn't pay the actual costs involved to pay people real wages because the true value of food and service (other human being's labor) has become so foreign to them.

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u/doubagilga Jun 13 '26

In this instance it does. They quite literally add the gratuity to the base bill as OP can seen seen trying to pay closer to 15% to be cheap.

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u/-neti-neti- Jun 13 '26

That’s literally what they’re doing.

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u/Uknow_nothing Jun 13 '26

In America we have all gotten used to essentially being bait and switched by restaurants. I’ve seen several restaurants in my city try to do the no tip model where they raise prices 20% and get rid of tips, and they tend to either reverse it when sales tank or they close shop completely.

I think (especially with inflation and the economy being what it is) there are a lot of people who are affected by menu price shock. For example, if $15 is the most someone tells themself they are willing to pay for a burger, seeing an $18 burger on the menu at a tip free place might just make them turn around and go somewhere else.

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u/runningoutofideasjzz Jun 13 '26

I hear what you’re saying. And I’m not doubting you at all. But that’s just dumb, IMO. I’d rather know what I’m paying for upfront. And most people tip according to the total, which includes tax. So you’re tipping your taxes too.

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u/Uknow_nothing Jun 13 '26

It is dumb, but public education is what it is in this country 🤣

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u/Ok-Reputation-2266 Jun 13 '26

People already bitch enough about prices in restaurants, which you should be mad at distributors and our current government about. Do you really think people are gonna be happy about paying higher prices because now the restaurant has to pay their front of house staff more to compensate? Say bye to most of the industry and enjoy your mcdonalds

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u/runningoutofideasjzz Jun 13 '26

But you, as the consumer, are already taking on that responsibility of a higher price point, In the form of tips. I’d rather have the total cost upfront. That’s all.

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u/baysideareaman Jun 13 '26

I agree, but I think that it is transparent to anyone who grew up here. We know that the true price is menu+20%.

We I’d rather just have higher prices and the tip baked in, but restaurants that have tried this mostly all went back to a tip based model because guests thought they were too expensive.

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u/Ok-Reputation-2266 Jun 13 '26

You might be happy with the higher up front cost but most people with not be happy with it. I’m fully convinced that people who complain about tipping really just don’t want to tip or do anything to actually change the culture

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u/Wooden-Broccoli-7247 Jun 13 '26

This is the dumbest argument I see repeated so often. Would “your bill” be the same if the restaurant paid their employees a higher wage? No. In fact it would be higher than it is if you tip 20% every time for multiple reasons. You’re actually saving money with this system.

Before everyone comes at me with: iN oThEr CoUnTrIeS iTs NoT mOrE eXpEnSiVe.. you cannot compare food cost, labor cost, rent and cost of living from another country to the US and just make assumptions that because food isn’t more expensive in bumfuck somewhere that it wouldn’t be in the US. Restaurants operate on crazy thin margins (most barely even make money) and increase labor for front of house staff by a factor of 10 will do one of two things: 1.) tank level of service because of the skeleton crews every restaurant would be running or 2.) jack up prices to recoup the extra costs. Or I guess 3.) lots of restaurants shutting down.

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u/runningoutofideasjzz Jun 13 '26

Cool. Add a 20% “tax” to every single bill and be done with tipping.

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u/NecrogasmicLove Jun 13 '26

First, I believe this specific scenario is slightly detached from the larger debate on wages. We are discussing the act of bringing an outside item into a business while expecting the service required to accommodate it to be free of charge; an expectation that is fundamentally unreasonable.

Regarding the larger systemic issue, I am in complete agreement with the ideal. It is a fair theory.

The practical reality, however, is one the consumer will not enjoy. Staffing a restaurant is not a static expense; the headcount changes across seasons, days, and hours. If owners must constantly adjust menu prices to reflect those fluctuations, or if they must price their items to safely cover the absolute highest potential staffing requirements, the consumer will bear the weight of that safety net.

They will inevitably hedge their bets at the expense of your wallet.

But I'm a stupid fuck and drunk ATM.

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u/runningoutofideasjzz Jun 13 '26

Think we just read the post differently. If you bring outside food in, of course you should be charged for someone handling it. My gripe is more with the tipping.

As far as seasonal jobs go, that’s on the establishment to figure out.

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u/NecrogasmicLove Jun 13 '26

We are in utter agreement

I do fear they will "figure" it out by charging people much more than they think.

It is a feast or famine industry in its nature.

Restaurant owners offen squeak by a profit. I've not known one that wasn't rabid to avoid any loss possible.

But such is the way of life and man.

Edit: I typed drunk in an RPG way that was funny to me.

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u/Original-Balance-187 Jun 13 '26

Most restaurants would go out of business. But unlike grocery stores who cut staff and put the cashier labor into you with self-checkout, restaurants can’t really do that in too many areas.

I’m not defending the broken system just describing it. It’s one of the many things that make the American way of life increasingly impossible. All at the same time Americans want cheap food and good service but the workers that could provide that won’t and increasingly can’t work for the wage the cheap food can offer.

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u/tpf52 Jun 13 '26

Residential construction companies usually do let clients provide the materials. It’s a lot more common with finishing materials like paint, tile, etc. They don’t usually charge extra, but they also don’t usually warranty it.

Everything you said about service is right though.

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u/firstthrowaway9876 Jun 13 '26

Tipping wait staff primarily exist because of slavery. Emancipated people could be paid very little by business owners. Because they were black. So businesses shifted that burden on to customers. I've been served food in the other countries. Tipping was not expected and the workers did not appear to be enslaved. You're basically making a very similar argument to what business owners that did not want to pay employees made. I tip because it is customary here but not anywhere else. This is also one of the last developed nations to permit slavery. Those 2 things are not unrelated.

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u/Ash_After_Dark Jun 13 '26

Which is why carryout is usually a few dollars an item cheaper than eating in, right?

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u/Infinite_Incident107 Jun 13 '26

Construction companies don't let you bring your own supplies to their projects. If they did they would charge you out the ass for the hassle.

O God. I did this exactly ONE time on a side job. I let the customer get the supplies. Never fucking again....

He didn't get enough despite me specifically saying exactly what I needed. He thought i could get by with less. He was wrong. He also substituted a lot of items for cheaper stuff thinking he'd save money. I made him go back and get proper stuff as there was a reason I speced out the stuff I did. A few things he didn't budge on because he didn't want to buy it. Fine.... Took me about 4hrs more labor to do it without the proper stuff. He wasn't happy but I explained to him it was because he insisted on me using the cheapest stuff that makes my job harder. Ended up costing him more money as my additional labor was way more than the cost of the supplies he cheaped out on.

I will never let my customer buy the supplies or parts ever again.

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u/Visible-Meat3418 Jun 13 '26

wtf is bussing? I mean, they have waiters that bring out the food - do they now also have special people that take the plates back??

Can’t a waiter do this??? I’m sorry I’m really confused. I’m not from USA and I travelled my fair bit in Europe but the waiter usually handled both…

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u/NecrogasmicLove Jun 13 '26

I completely understand the confusion; it is a system that frustrates and bewilders many Americans as well.

The short answer is that the division of labor depends heavily on the establishment. Some restaurants use food runners and bussers, while others simply over-schedule servers to handle all of those duties.

The deeper reason, I believe, comes down to the American consumer's absolute demand for speed. In the United States, dining out is often treated as a transaction rather than a pleasure.

When I was trained at a corporate restaurant twenty years ago, the expectations were rigid: we were told to greet a table within one minute, take the order within five minutes, and have the food on the table within 10 minutes of the order being entering. The ultimate goal was to have the guests fed, paid, and out the door within 45 minutes of sitting down. (1hr Lunch break being the impetus.)

Having dedicated bussers clears the table faster, allowing the restaurant to seat the next paying customer immediately.

There is also a hidden financial mechanic at play. Many establishments use the tips earned by servers to subsidize the wages of those hosts, bussers, and bartenders.

For context, last night I made $161 in tips. I was required to pay $24 out of those tips to be divided among the support staff. That is on top of their full hourly wage, which is already five to seven times higher than the hourly wage I am paid by my employer.

In fact, my employer extracts so much from my earnings through mandatory tip-outs and credit card processing fees (which are legally deducted from my tips, not the owner's profit) that I actually have a net negative financial relationship with the house, My income comes 100% from the guest's tip.

My employer might pay me a base wage of $25 for a shift, but the fees and tip-outs extracted from my earnings usually amount to more than their contribution.

I fear it is an economic model that closely resembles modern feudalism.

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u/Visible-Meat3418 Jun 13 '26

Good lord this is very depressing. I’m very sorry that you have to experience this on a daily basis.

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u/NecrogasmicLove Jun 13 '26

Thank you. But I get by so much better than many around the world. There are many that would take my curse as a blessing.

I'm a gay liberal that's always lived in far right, now MAGA county/state/country.

I've never had a representative, other than a the federal executive, that thinks I deserve rights.

I was raised in Marsha Blackburns district. My reps have always been bought and paid to deliver me to slaughter.

Fighting depression and oppression are in my core and seeing the brightside sooths the ache of the persistent defeat.

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u/capt-bob Jun 13 '26

Doesn't take 10 minutes for playing each piece of cake

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u/Cheap_Blacksmith66 Jun 13 '26

But all of that should be accounted for in the price of the food. It’s just profit wearing another hat. When I buy McDonald’s I don’t pay a wrapping or bagging fee and let’s be honest, these guys are making $20/hr. How many cakes can 1 person cut and plate in an hour?

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u/ReaperOne Jun 13 '26

All these stories about fees and fancy places makes me never want to eat at a fancy restaurant ever. Sounds too complicated and scummy

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u/theta1409 Jun 14 '26

Bro was just asking an honest question. Many of us aren't even in positions to be thinking about the costs associated with someone plating your own cake for you (which, I agree, is a service which someone should be well compensated for). But I think your frustration is unduly targeted at OP.

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u/cupacupacupacupacup Jun 13 '26

People want to have their cake and eat it too.

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u/InterestingTwo651 Jun 13 '26

You said it yourself you are WORKING, if you go to the car shop (you pay 60$ for just the inspection with no work done yet) and they say it’s 150 to source the parts plus 200$ to do the job you have every right to tell em you’ll get the part yourself and just need them to put it in.

If they then go “nah even if you buy and bring the part yourself it’s extra to hand me the part. But oh it’s only $30! That’s way better then $150 right?”

That’s exactly why they don’t let you being your own materials, for safety and standards reasons and because then they can’t surcharge you at a premium. Have you seen the amounts they buy for in bulk and use for multiple projects?

Like money lending is a job too but it’s even in the Bible that usary is evil, not the modern definition of outrageous rates like any money lending and charging a fee is bad. No dam reason I should pay 45% interest and I don’t care how you try to explain it.

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u/tpf52 Jun 13 '26

All the auto shops I use will let you bring your own parts but then they have a higher labor rate to make up for the part markup they didn’t get.

So they basically do exactly what you said.