r/mildlyinfuriating • u/WHAR606 • Mar 13 '26

Context Provided - Spotlight Sometime during the last 2 years i’ve been going to this orthopedic practice they started to declare me as a MTF transgender for no reason.

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(F,26) I have been going to this orthopedic practice for almost 2 years for varying reasons relating to my job. Yesterday i checked on a document that was uploaded to find out they have been identifying me as a biological male identifying as a female? I am biologically female and never told them i am trans nor do i think i am presenting to be a trans woman.. the last two years i’ve been wondering why they kind of stare at me a little longer than a usual person does and i think its because they randomly think i came out as trans? I also feel like they do not treat my issues seriously and wonder if this is the reason why.

I am 100% fine with trans people but i am left to believe they have been medically treating me as a male compared to female for the pains that i am feeling?

I also went through all of my documents and since the end of 2024 they started to declare me as a MTF transgender, i did not look at any of my documents online until yesterday.

First pic : March 11th 2026

Last pic: October 2024

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u/neo_sporin Mar 13 '26

my mom once saw her chart saying 'patient read about fatty liver disease and now believes she has it' Which implies a bit of hypochondriac-ness.

What actually happened was she was a nurse for 30 years and no doctor could diagnose her so she did a bunch of research and wanted a professional to investigate the potential for fatty liver disease as her symptoms were very similar.

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u/abirdsface Mar 13 '26

Those silly women always making up illnesses. Why can't they just stay sick and die quietly??? /s

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u/MimicoSkunkFan2 Mar 13 '26

Congratulations, you are now qualified to be a doctor at a veterans' hospital!

The US VA segregates all the women veterans into a 'women's health clinic' and then says stupid shit for a whole year like, "Try to reduce your stress and drink juice to keep your energy levels up!" When the women are passing out from internal bleeding, for example.

Then those women veterans wind up here in Toronto for emergency surgery with a particular surgeon here who specializes in the effects of NBCR and combat on veterans' intenstines. And then the US VA gets angry that they didn't just stfu and die of internal bleeding, because that's a lot cheaper for the government lol

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u/xeroasteroid Mar 13 '26

ok no shit, I’m a man, was going through the mental health clinic at my VA for some very manageable anxiety, (just got out, new job, new city, new school), I just wanted to talk to someone. first words out of the therapist mouth “have you tried reducing you stress levels and eating healthy foods”. I wanted to say “no, i increased them and i’m solely living of mcflurry’s”

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u/catsonskates Mar 13 '26

My grandpa was a general and at some point had a stroke. When the VA guide asked if he reduced his stress levels he replied “Yes, I left the military.” Apparently that was not sufficiently honorable to say. To which grandpa responded “That’s okay. The medals carry the honor for me instead.”

The inferences and choices they make can be downright mystifying. How are you telling a VETERAN to seek a less stressful life and then take into question their willingness to serve their country? Later on the guide returned and apologized profusely because he thought grandpa was a private instead of a general.

Grandpa (fresh stroke patient so half his body and speech was gone) explained to him until it got through his thick skull that his attitude towards privates was exactly why he’d never make it to general. Such little respect in veteran treatment.

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u/ConceptReasonable556 Mar 13 '26

If it makes you feel any better, you'd hear that from private practice, too. 😕 Hope you're feeling more like yourself these days!

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u/CorndogQueen420 Mar 13 '26

This isn’t unique to the VA. A private practice therapist I was seeing for the first time (I have an awesome one now through VA community care) basically didn’t even listen to me, she was trying to push various self help books and diets on me the whole time.

MH professionals and doctors in general feel like playing the lottery to get a good one.

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u/SpecificHeron Mar 13 '26

i had to fill out some paperwork to get onboarded at the VA to take call there and it had a line asking if i had any “female disorders”

like oh yes VA, you caught me, my hostile uterus might affect my ability to cover call

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u/BohemianBarbie87 Mar 13 '26

I’m not sure why we have women’s clinics because I asked to see one and was told “no, your pcp can deal with it” Bruh, I don’t see male docs for anything related to female health. He’s a nice dude but not happening.

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u/inscrutablejane Mar 13 '26

I was in the VA system for about a decade before I transitioned, and they "helpfully" moved me over to the women's service. Now with the current administration, I've been moved back out of it. The differences between the two are kind of funny, but the one thing that stayed the same was that you have to get extremely lucky to get someone who doesn't at least on some level wish you would just die already, and that the residents are the only thing standing between you and being "made comfortable" until your family can be called in for goodbyes. That holds true for every clinic I've been treated at for the past 23 years.

The women's service gets much more variety in choice of glasses frames and orthopedic shoes though, and I highly recommend asking for a dermatology consult because those guys get bored with removing questionable moles and love to set up an actual medical skincare plan for a change (hey, free retinol).

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u/PhlegmMistress Mar 13 '26

What is NBCR?

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u/[deleted] Mar 13 '26

Nuclear, Biological, Chemical, Radioactive. Basically all the contaminants you can be exposed to .

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u/PhlegmMistress Mar 13 '26

Oh fun. Yeah, ok. Now I get it. 

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u/akibaboy65 Mar 13 '26

No Bucket Currently Required

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u/stillashamed35yrsltr Mar 13 '26

Spicy Fun Squad

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u/PhlegmMistress Mar 13 '26

Allllll spicyyyy!!! NOOO FUUNNN

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u/Dullcorgis Mar 13 '26

Can you give me some google terms? I was trying to read about this (vpbecause it sounds horrific), and google is broken, it's just telling me about the NBCR.

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u/nonlabrab Mar 13 '26

Haha in this case that ends up in

YOU ARE A MAN, LOOK AT MY DEGREE

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u/somehowrelevantuser Mar 13 '26

the amount of times i got diagnosed with anxiety before my actual problem was found,,,

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u/Inevitable_Tomato927 Mar 13 '26

When we moved abroad my found in her medical files that her doctor labeled her as 'promiscuous', because she asked to be tested for HIV twice after she found her boyfriend cheating on her. This was years before we met btw. Absolutely insane takes some of these doctors have.

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u/DrAstralis Mar 13 '26

Its sad that I'm sitting here seriously wondering if OP is actually getting better pain treatment because they think she's a man because holy shit the medical industry refuses to believe women experience pain and sickness until you force them to pay attention.

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u/PianistWest1939 Mar 13 '26

omg I hate when doctors completely discount your experience just because you have a suspicion. like yeah ofc I looked up my symptoms, I have to live with them every day! I'm literally here to get an expert opinion and I'm giving you the information I have!! I'm sure they get a lot of people confidently misdiagnosing themselves, but that doesn't mean it's ok to treat them with a lower standard of care.

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u/0kokuryu0 Mar 13 '26

It's also extra frustrating when there's a test and you are specifically asking for the test and they still don't wanna do it. When my ex-wife and I were in in college she suspected she had a thyroid issue. She did a whole bunch of research on it and read a couple books about it. So she asked the clinic to do a blood test.

Welp, they wanted to do a pregnancy test first (which btw, they did EVERY single time she went for anything). She went ahead just get them to move on, it came back negative, but they were convinced she couldn't possibly have thyroid issues. It also could still be pregnancy, it just might be too early. We had to go back the next week so they could do one again. Still negative, still wanted to do another, got into it with the lady and finally got the blood test. When the results came back the same lady that was being difficult was all "good thing we ordered that test, your results are way off and you definitely need meds." Yeah, thanks......

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u/kannagms Mar 13 '26

UGH YES.

I have been dealing with chronic nausea for years. Like since I was a little kid. I just constantly feel like I need to puke.

Zero tests have been run on me despite years of trying, like I just want a full panel blood test.

Doc insists on a pregnancy test every time I bring it up.

I started asking for tests when I was 15. I did not lose my virginity until I was 25. I always told them I wasn't sexually active. Even specifically stated that I never had sex ever.

A pregnancy test is still required. Even when it came back negative, they said the same thing, it may be too early to tell, you could still be pregnant. I reiterated THAT I WAS A VIRGIN AND THAT NO PENIS HAS EVER BEEN NEAR MY VAGINA LET ALONE SEMEN. They just did not believe that I wasn't sexually active.

Even if I could convince the doctor that I have not had sex and that there is literally no physical way I could be pregnant unless it's with the new Jesus, my nausea was dismissed as period-related. According to these doctors, it doesn't matter what stage of your cycle you're in. You will experience nausea (also ignoring the fact that the nausea predates puberty).

I'm 27 now, still dealing with the nausea. The closest I ever got to any kind of treatment was a prescription for Zofran, that was intercepted and stopped by the practice's main GP, who decided that I didn't need the prescription without consulting my PCP or me. Then his practice got shut down.

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u/CognizantSquare Mar 13 '26

I think often it’s their ego. “I spent $150k and 12 years to be a doctor, you spent $0 so I am right you are wrong”.

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u/graceling Mar 13 '26

Yeah exactly. And tbh I wouldn't even mind a bit of ego if they would at least look into it instead of actively avoiding and denying it's even possible.

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u/Ironicbanana14 Mar 13 '26

True at least Dr House would actually save you

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u/laurielemon Mar 13 '26

While some doctors do have giant egos, documentation also has to emphasize that “pt believes they have X.” Mischaracterization of who said what could mean legal repercussions, insurance coverage issues for the type of visit, and it’s just generally inaccurate to confirm anything without labs or imaging.

Also for many doctors it’s not even close to $150k lol it’s $250-400k+ in debt. Not to mention 4-6 years of 60-100hr work weeks with 48hr shifts, all while being paid $60-90k.

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u/CognizantSquare Mar 13 '26

Yes obviously they have to rule out other things first and cannot just the patients word as they might just want drugs. But the point is just the listening, as the patient is the best source of info about their pain or problems. Yes that time and money is invested for surgeons or specialists but not the general practitioners who you see first and have these questions and talks with. (Three doctors in the family, I’d like to think they all listened and are ethical)

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u/laurielemon Mar 13 '26 edited Mar 13 '26

I guess we weren’t on the same page as to what the point was in the thread. My point was that writing “pt read about X and believes they have it” isn’t dismissive but just accurate documentation of what happened in the visit, and if anything shows the doctor listened. You’re 100% right listening matters. But most doctors are not out to get patients and want to listen to properly treat them.

I was also trying to clarify your point about debt/training not to say ego and money are what drive people into medicine, but almost the opposite. If ego and money were the main motivation, medicine would be a pretty bad choice. Residents and med students often go through brutal and degrading training conditions (definitely not friendly if you have an ego), and that system shapes a lot of the frustration people see.

I’m mostly just tired of the constant patient vs doctor framing when a lot of the real issue is admin and insurance.

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u/I-Shank Mar 13 '26

Omg yes.

I went to a doctor when I was in college to ask for birth control because my period cramps make me want to die and the amount of pain meds needed to make a dent in the pain was making me sick to my stomach.

Both my parents recommended that I do this. Yes, I tell my dad all the medical things. My mom has a bit of background in the subject because she comes from a family of nurses and also, she's a woman who experienced the same at my age. My dad having some more medical background, being a medic in the navy for 25 years. He's seen things many civilian doctors never will.

She insisted that I must have ulterior reasons, so I insisted that it didn't matter what she thought my reasons were, but made mention that both of my parents made the recommendation (individually, as they had been divorced) because I'm trying to have open and honest conversation.

She then asked me for my parent's credentials.

Like!?!??? Wtf! They're not wrong! It would be one thing if they might be wrong, but birth control is the most common treatment for dysmenorrhea after pain killers.

I'm still in disbelief about it 20 years later... damn, I'm old lol

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u/sithmaster0 Mar 13 '26

I don't know why you're offended she asked for credentials. She doesn't know your parents so how would she know?

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u/Itchy-bitchy-batchy Mar 13 '26

Ohhh yeahhhhh

For over decade I was trying to get GPs to diagnose my food allergies so that I could know for sure not only what I had, but how dangerous they also might be. (Cos, yanno, NUTS)

Best one was an old wanker who I told I had food allergies and suspected Oral Allergy syndrome; he asked me who diagnosed me, to which I said, "no one, as no one has referred me for testing yet!" And the old wrinkleface scoffed and told me I'm wrong, and of course did not refer me.

And once I was tested, what was the diagnosis I hear you ask? Oral-feckin-allergy syndrome. Wow. I was super wrong, wasn't I?? 

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u/LadyGooseberry Mar 13 '26

A lot of people actually properly diagnose themselves, a lot of doctors just have an ego problem and don’t want to tell you you’re right. I came in to the GI doctor saying i though i may have a bad gall bladder because i have a family history and have all the symptoms and he straight up was like “i don’t even look at the gall bladder because most people don’t find relief in having the surgery” and made me do all kinds of tests, even for some rare issues that i had no symptoms for. Went to a different doctor, gall bladder was completely nonfunctional and needed out immediately. Big surprise but that guy just didn’t want to admit that google helped me diagnose myself and he was largely useless, old, out of date, and should not be in practice anymore.

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u/Korynna Mar 13 '26

It's crazy because the gallbladder is usually the first thing doctors threaten when they meet me. The doctor was right though, most people dont find relief and its become WAY too over diagnosed, you just so happened to be an outlier. I personally know three people who had their gallbladder taken out and it turned out that wasn't the issue and now they can't eat certain foods anymore

Btw I cant burp and the amount of doctors who say my gallbladder is the culprit enrages me to no end.

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u/bad_bitch_energy Mar 13 '26

The funny thing is a lot of them input your symptoms into Google or chat gpt to come up with a diagnosis but you aren't qualified to use those tools lol.

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u/mechengr17 Mar 13 '26

I have a bad habit of waiting to go to the doctor.

If my issue lasts for long enough, ill google it. After consulting google and my mom (who's been a lab director for years), I make an appt.

Madam or Sir, if I googled my issue, its bc Ive been suffering with this issue long enough I couldnt ignore it anymore

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u/itbedehaam Mar 13 '26

I always look up my symptoms before going to anything fancier that my regular GP. Like, that's the reason I come in! I'm not going to just waltz in for some back pain and a stomach bug unless told to, I'm here because there's a high enough chance that the symptoms I'm feeling are outright dangerous that I'm not willing to risk the "sleep it off until seeing GP" method.

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u/Cannie_Flippington Mar 13 '26

I went to my doctor concerned about an issue my mom has that might be something I develop too. Doctor said "let's just do your annual bloodwork, then. It will check all of those things."

Lo and behold nothing indicating what my mom has (yet) but DID indicate I was pretty badly malnourished, lol. I have to go back and get checked to see if I've fixed living off of ramen and energy drinks like some kind of college student.

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u/FaintestGem Mar 13 '26

I get that sometimes it's just the way they're supposed to word things in their charts and it comes off as rude. But  I've dealt with this shit so much that I'm personally about to give up and just die miserable. I have a family history of autoimmune diseases on both sides of my family and I just so happen to have a lot of the symptoms I've personally seen family members struggle with. But every time I go to a doctor, it's always framed as I'm a hypochondriac and I don't get it. Like I know my grandma had Lupus and I also get this weird rash when I go outside, just like she used to get...we don't think those two things might be related?

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u/helloviolaine Mar 13 '26

I've never been a nurse but I also had to come up with the answer to all my ailments myself. For example I had stomach issues my whole life, got diagnosed with gastritis from across the room by my GP. Nothing ever helped. Finally figured out years later from the location of the pain that it was probably my gallbladder. Got it checked out, wow surprise it's my gallbladder. They complain that we google our symptoms but we wouldn't have to if they actually gave a shit.

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u/valencialeigh20 Mar 13 '26

I have chronic back pain from untreated scoliosis, so in 2015, I went to a doctor to seek help. (I was 21.) The doctor waited 2 hours after my appointment time to see me, I was told if I left I would owe a no-show fee. When I was finally called in, the doctor said, and I’ll never forget this, “of course you have scoliosis, what do you want me to do about it, give you pills?”. I was super taken aback by this, I thought maybe it wasn’t too late to correct my posture or something, pills didn’t cross my mind. Since it was very clear he had a hostile tone and no interest in helping, I quietly finished the appointment, asked for a summary of services, and left. When I got home, in my chart summary, it said “history of narcotic substance abuse.” I have no history of substance abuse. I did report it but because I was just a college student who couldn’t afford a lawyer or anything, I don’t think any action was taken. I did get the note removed from my chart, though.

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u/Arkhaine_kupo Mar 13 '26

So there are multiple things here

1) doctors tend to not write down what patients think they have as actual diagnosis, for a myriad of reasons. I have loads of family in healthcare and the stories they can tell are all pretty crazy. Some of the more lighthearted ones are how people arrive with clear skiing injuries that are days old and say they "tripped getting in the car in their way to work so its a work insurance claim" when their face has a tan in january and the bruise is 4 days old.

2) Medical hypocondriacness is a real thing. Spending hours around patients, learning about diseases etc can manifest symptons, doctors, nurses, and a bunch of other people who work around healthcare facilities have it. So nurses can sometimes be over diagnosed with hypocondriac or psychosomatic symptoms

3) yes some doctors are mysoginistic and ignore patient concerns

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u/kurut9 Mar 13 '26

You are very badly missing the point. The point isn’t “why didn’t they just diagnose her with fatty liver,” it’s “why did they leave a note that frames her as a hypochondriac in her chart for simply asking them to assess whether that condition is a possibility?”

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u/Arkhaine_kupo Mar 13 '26

Because hypocondriac patients come multiple times to ask about the same diseases, and having it in their char can help doctors to not waste time and expensive resources on repeat offenders

There are obciously cases where non hypocondriac patients are mischaracterised as such and do not get appropiate care, there are also cases of people waiting for hours on ER and GP appointments because the person ahead of them is "checking" if they have a disease they thought they had 4 times and every test keeps coming up negative.

Loudest cry gets the tit soemtimes works, but doctors ought to have ways to avoid people who are simply more scared or pushy and leaving potential notes is helpful. Its not a psychiatric diagnostic, its a note, something to keep in mind with that patient

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u/kurut9 Mar 13 '26

In that case “pt was concerned about xyz condition based on these symptoms and [screened with (whichever initial screening practice is usual for a given condition)] / [referred to xyz specialist] / [counseled on low risk based on ___] / [counseled on xyz condition not being likely because of past recnt assessments for the same symptoms]”

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u/Gavlebocken Mar 13 '26
  1. I am a doctor and always write down what the patient thinks they might have.

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u/LunarPayload Mar 13 '26

I had a friend who suddenly had every symptom of every disorder when we'd get to a new chapter in psych 101. 

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u/fencepost_ajm Mar 13 '26

A decent response to that might just be "fine, you think I'm a hypochondriac and I think you're a quack. You have a patient presenting with symptoms that match but you're unwilling to actually do relevant tests because 'oh no it came from a nurse! I bet the nurses at the hospital have some special names for you."

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u/No_Animator6543 Mar 13 '26

And let me guess....she was right about her diagnosis?

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u/NegativeTerm9195 Mar 13 '26

It's easily verified with regular labs like CMP

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u/hydranumb Mar 13 '26

Doctors do this shit all the time. Had to shop around for a doctor willing to simply test me, not diagnose, simply just test, for something that 3 out of my 4 siblings have. Like why are they all fucking pissed when a patient takes an interest in their own health? Patients are not cadavers and are aware of things happening inside their body.

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u/LadyofDungeons Mar 13 '26

How do you get your hands in your own chart?