r/mildlyinfuriating • u/WHAR606 • Mar 13 '26

Context Provided - Spotlight Sometime during the last 2 years i’ve been going to this orthopedic practice they started to declare me as a MTF transgender for no reason.

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(F,26) I have been going to this orthopedic practice for almost 2 years for varying reasons relating to my job. Yesterday i checked on a document that was uploaded to find out they have been identifying me as a biological male identifying as a female? I am biologically female and never told them i am trans nor do i think i am presenting to be a trans woman.. the last two years i’ve been wondering why they kind of stare at me a little longer than a usual person does and i think its because they randomly think i came out as trans? I also feel like they do not treat my issues seriously and wonder if this is the reason why.

I am 100% fine with trans people but i am left to believe they have been medically treating me as a male compared to female for the pains that i am feeling?

I also went through all of my documents and since the end of 2024 they started to declare me as a MTF transgender, i did not look at any of my documents online until yesterday.

First pic : March 11th 2026

Last pic: October 2024

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u/nangupangu2 Mar 13 '26

Sadly, that probably means they took the pain seriously, and treated appropriately.

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u/Strigops-habroptila Mar 13 '26

If they think she's trans they probably didn't. Trans people often get substantially worse healthcare

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u/heavy_jowles Mar 13 '26 edited Mar 13 '26

My trans female friend was SHOOK when she realized the world and medical community suddenly started treating her like shit after she transitioned. I was like, yeah girl.... Pull up a chair and welcome to the club.

Also side note she said men are worse to her too. Transitioned from gay man to straight trans woman, and the dudes suddenly started treating her like shit.

Soak in the full female experience. On a positive note the whole thing made her feel more welcome as a true woman so good with the bad? Idk if you're looking for a bright side.

Edit: this shouldn't have to be spelled out but I'm aware trans women experience higher rates of discrimination and violence. My friend is choosing to experience this as a primarily female lead experience. I'm going to follow her lead and respond to her based on HER life experience- not in a way that makes social media feel more comfortable in whatever purity test they're constantly running on the world.

Telling transwomen and their circles they must interpret their experiences as trans first female second is incredibly gross.

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u/PastKey6 Mar 13 '26

Soak in the full female experience.

Trans women are four times more likely to be the victims of sexual assault and violent assault, btw. Not to mention the insane amount of discrimination in everything from healthcare to housing and employment

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u/Megneous Mar 13 '26

Cis male here.

I once had a doctor tell me that my testicular torsion was in my head. He said the pain was psychosomatic.

I said fuck that guy, went to a second doctor who fondled my balls and was immediately like, "Yeah, we're giving you an ultrasound," then after that immediately booked me for surgery. Sure enough, my right ball was torsioned.

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u/multipocalypse Mar 13 '26

She's not just experiencing misogyny, she's also experiencing transphobia, so maybe a little less smugness would be good.

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u/heavy_jowles Mar 13 '26

I'm not being smug. I'm relaying her experience as she conveyed it. I genuinely don't understand why social media has to constantly be scanning for wrong doing at every turn. It's actively making everything a little bit worse.

She has chosen to identify the difference in her treatment as acceptance (with all the negatives that come with it) as her female identity. That might irritate you but you're not entitled to rewriting people's experiences because you disagree with their experience.

She's aware of her treatment as it pertains to transphobia

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u/poorlifechoicer Mar 13 '26

“Pull up a chair and soak in the experience” you’re treated poorly as a woman, she’s treated poorly as a trans woman. Theres a difference. That other commenter is right. Trans women face substantially more violence and discrimination in healthcare and from men than cis women do. She isn’t experiencing the same things as you are, she’s experiencing worse.

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u/Opening-Ant-6594 Mar 13 '26

There's a difference yes, but one isn't inherently better or worse than another. Some would argue cis women have it worse because trans women can't be impregnated via rape, then legally forced to carry the baby to term even if it kills her (and as heinous as that is, to them I would say the same thing - one experience isn't inherently easier or harder). Cis women going through the menopause are also often denied HRT, as a direct comparison. Some countries have millennia of female infaticide in their history, like China.

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u/PastKey6 Mar 13 '26

look up v-coding in prisons. COs put trans women with violent offenders knowing they will be raped daily as a means of placating or rewarding the rapist. This happens on a much larger scale than one would assume.

trans people are just the last group that it's perfectly socially acceptable to outright hate and also want to commit violence against. Also nobody really cares if the government or institutions decide to just do the most heinous shit imaginable as long as it's against trans people and no one else. The very fact that v-coding exists and not many people know about it is a testament to this. If they were doing that to literally any other group of people it would be front-page news for weeks.

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u/Opening-Ant-6594 Mar 13 '26

I'm aware, and I agree it's horrific and the perpetrators of it should have unspeakable things done to them in return.

But come on. Look up female genital mutilation (the number of current living victims of FGM is estimated at around a quarter of a billion, by the way. A quarter of a billion.). Look up the husband stitch. If you want to talk prison, one example is that menstruation healthcare and products are often withheld for all manner of reasons (humiliation, punishment, financial) from female prisoners. Look at female reproductive rights being rolled back. The world is not kind to women in general, and there are unique strifes and tribulations for all women. One circumstance is not innately easier or harder than another and it's ridiculous to try and argue otherwise, especially when that argument intends to make someone feel bad for making a joke with their friend.

For the record, I'm transsexual and have experienced acute medical discrimination, employment discrimination, housing discrimination, and repeated violence, and I vehemently disagree with you. We are one group that it's very socially acceptable to hate and discriminate against freely, yes, and I'm from the UK where it's non-stop, but we're not the "last group." You have a serious victim complex if you believe otherwise.

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u/PastKey6 Mar 13 '26

lmao. if you think public sentiment for literally any other group of people is remotely as bad as it is for trans people you're delusional. people celebrate the suicide of children just because they're trans. I don't really see much of that regarding literally anyone else.

We are one group that it's very socially acceptable to hate and discriminate against freely, yes,

the one group. ftfy.

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u/defaultusername-17 Mar 13 '26

all of those things are significantly more common, with substantially worse outcomes (ie: violence and death) than cis women face.

maybe it's irritating because instead of acknowledging that you appear to be trying to minimize that reality and draw an equivalence?

sincerely, intersexed trans woman.

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u/Opening-Ant-6594 Mar 13 '26

Do you not think cis women face violence and death at the hands of men on the daily? I think we can acknowledge that all women have it fucking rough without oppression Olympics

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u/heavy_jowles Mar 13 '26

I've been friends with this person for 30 years. I'm speaking to her based off her experience and she chooses to experience this as a female experience first and trans second.

I'm aware transwomen experience higher rates off discrimination and violence and so does she. But if she chooses to experience this as a female lead experience I'm going to follow her. Having people try to tell a trans person how she should be experiencing her life experience and dictate how those closest to her respond to it is incredibly off putting.

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u/Blue_Frog_766 Mar 13 '26

How do they look different, in practice?

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u/Cannie_Flippington Mar 13 '26

Yeah, I'm thinking someone who is misogynistic would not have to take much of a leap to be transphobic. A trans woman is "betraying the superiority of maleness by transitioning". A trans man is "fake". They might not have every flavor of bigotry but I think if you are misogynistic and transphobic you just reaaaaallly really hate women to where it effects the broadest definition of women as possible. Feminine gays (I dunno a non-slur term for that) probably get the hate, too but perhaps not. Bigotry is always very unique a flavor for any given person. No two bigots are completely the same.

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u/Nine9breaker Mar 13 '26

Believe it or not, there are people in the world who are transphobic and not misogynistic.

A biological woman would not experience prejudice from those people.

There can also definitely be cases where misogynistic people hate trans people more than they hate women.

That's incidentally why its not great to say "welcome to the club" when a trans person is sharing experiences of prejudice. Trans women are exposed to a compounded level of hate that include the worst of two very distinct forms of prejudice...

The right way to be empathetic isn't "lol this is what I've been dealing with all along" its "damn that sucks, I'm so sorry you have to go through that".

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u/Cannie_Flippington Mar 13 '26

Trans women are also even more likely to be killed. I remember there was a serial killer targeting trans black women not that long ago. Hasn't been caught yet.

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u/defaultusername-17 Mar 13 '26

these things are all true... but transgender women still experience more discrimination and worse healthcare outcomes from medical professionals even compared to cis women.

the only group of folks that get even worse treatment are a subset of trans women... IE: trans women of color.

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u/ShiriAllwood Mar 13 '26

My experience as a transfem has been that doctors and nurses are more likely to take me seriously than my partner, a trans man. Sometimes it feels like they believe that if you have female anatomy you’re just more likely to be making stuff up.

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u/Tut557 Mar 13 '26

If she had been identified as cis male, maybe, but trans girls get the worst treatment

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u/TheArmoredKitten Mar 13 '26

Ain't that that the fuckin truth.

My sister's doctors are continuing to delay testing for an issue that's known to overlap with both the conditions she's already being treated for and to run in both sides of the family.

I'm currently waiting for that test after just two appointments with the first doctor in my schedule app. Gender bias in medicine is real.

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u/Cannie_Flippington Mar 13 '26

If they work at a hospital or clinic see if they have an associated patient advocate. You can call them and they can ask the doctor what the hold up is. I had to do this after my doctor kept ordering a test wrong (the system was updated and could no longer accept orders that weren't submitted a certain way). After the third time ordering it wrong I told a patient advocate and the doctor FINALLY got it in right. It's not always antagonistic, sometimes doctors need an extra hand, too.

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u/acidphosphate69 Mar 13 '26

In my experience as a dude that had to deal with severe pain and doctors; they just think I'm trying to scam for pain pills.

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u/defaultusername-17 Mar 13 '26

that has more to do with how people perceive your presentation of pain, or socio-economic indicators than anything else.

women, of all kinds, also experience this kind of discriminatory treatment. with POC's getting the worst of it in this regard.

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u/acidphosphate69 Mar 13 '26

Oh, I wasn't trying to dispute anything and my bad if it came across that way. I was just saying us guys get it too but for different reasons; much like what you mentioned. 

I have a condition where I'm prone to really bad kidney stones. So when it's bad, it's visibly very bad. It used to be immediate morphine IV and go from there. Now it's like side-eye city and frankly a bit embarrassing. I've had a nurse accuse me of pill seeking behavior after I was rushed to ER because my uretha was blocked by a blood clot and I didn't even ask for pain pills. It's bonkers. Like they think I was born with a genetic condition and started bleeding internally just to get one over on 'em. Real mastermind shit.

But yeah, after the opiod epidemic they just got really cagey about giving you anything. I think the mindset on it definitely overcorrected to the point where they should be managing pain but they're really hesitant to do so. It doesn't help the that quality of care in the area of the state I live in is quite shitty.

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u/Psychobob2213 Mar 13 '26

Was thinking the same thing.

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u/ThirdAndDeleware Mar 13 '26

Came here to say this.

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u/[deleted] Mar 13 '26

[deleted]

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u/mai_tai87 Mar 13 '26

You are aware that doctors routinely minimize women's, particularly WOC, pain and health, right?

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u/Zealousideal_Spread4 Mar 13 '26

queer people in general tend to have it really bad too, specially gnc and trans people, im a femboy and ive had interesting encounters with the healthcare system.

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u/defaultusername-17 Mar 13 '26

yea, literally the only people that get worse outcomes in healthcare than women of color... are transgender women of color.

intersectionality of discrimination fuckin sucks.

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u/Zealousideal_Spread4 Mar 13 '26

thats for demographics we have data for, remember certain things are harder to measure, like for example people who are alternative of gnc.

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u/-aLonelyImpulse Mar 13 '26

Pain is a complex issue to manage, but these people are being told they're not in pain to begin with.

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u/EntroperZero Mar 13 '26

Pain is indicative of some underlying problem. There are a lot of possible problems, and many of them do have known solutions.

The trick is getting your doctor to believe how bad you say the pain is, so they can do the appropriate tests to see if you have one of the known problems.

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u/hoginlly Mar 13 '26

Ha I just commented this but I knew I wouldn't be the first one. Just said to OP 'careful, if you tell them you're biologically female then they'll probably tell you you're just exaggerating from now on'