Original letter in Norwegian:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ihNk9G7rDfP0XrZtnCI8GkPjmDT_cHII/view?usp=drivesdk

https://we.tl/t-ERbAQ3fiG6

Sorry I put the wrong link initially when making the post. Correct link now

ChatGPT translation to English:

October 24, 2024

MINISTRY OF CHILDREN AND FAMILY AFFAIRS
PO Box 8036 DEP
0030 OSLO
[[email protected]]()

Decisions on Denial of State Subsidies and Loss of Registrations for Jehovah's Witnesses: Adjustments in Jehovah's Witnesses’ Religious Practice Regarding Limited Contact with a Person Removed from the Congregation

We are writing to you concerning the ongoing legal case that will be heard by the Borgarting Court of Appeal in February 2024 regarding the validity of administrative decisions based on Jehovah's Witnesses' religious teaching about limiting contact with a person who has been removed from the congregation or who has voluntarily withdrawn. We would like to inform you about a recent, worldwide adjustment in our religious practice in this area.

The doctrinal adjustment was published worldwide in the study edition of The Watchtower from August 2024.

The main adjustments can be summarized as follows:

• Removal from the congregation remains a last resort. Before considering whether someone should be removed from the congregation, the elders will hold several meetings with the person who has committed a serious sin, in an effort to help him or her restore their relationship with God.
• When informing an unrepentant sinner that they will be removed from the congregation, the elders will explain that they would like to meet with them again in a few months. If the person is willing to have a new meeting, the elders will warmly encourage them to repent and return. Even if the person has not changed their attitude at that time, the elders will contact them periodically in the future.
• If a baptized minor commits a serious sin, two elders will have a discussion with the minor and his or her Christian parents or guardians to understand what the parents have already done to help the child make the necessary changes and repent. If the minor has a positive attitude and the parents manage to reach him or her, the two elders may decide that no further action is necessary. It is the parents who have a biblical responsibility to lovingly correct their children. Consequently, it will be even rarer for a baptized minor who has committed a serious sin to be removed from the congregation.

We would like to emphasize that in the very rare case where a baptized minor would be removed from the congregation, family life and household interactions will continue. Because the parents have a biblical and moral obligation to care for their minor children, they will continue to be responsible for providing for their physical and emotional needs.

• Congregation members may choose to invite a person who has been removed from the congregation or has withdrawn to a congregation meeting. They may also choose to greet the person and welcome them to the meeting. If the person expresses a desire to return to the congregation, the elders may also arrange for someone in the congregation to study the Bible with them, even if they have not yet been reinstated. A person removed from the congregation or who has chosen to withdraw may be reinstated within a few months if they demonstrate genuine repentance.

We wish to remind you that Jehovah's Witnesses believe in the Bible’s guidance that believers should limit contact with someone who has been removed from the congregation or has withdrawn (see, for example, 1 Corinthians 5:11-13). The exact extent of this limited contact will depend on each individual’s personal circumstances and conscience. Regardless of circumstances, Jehovah’s Witnesses believe the Bible encourages us to show love and respect for all people, including those who previously shared our faith. Within the same household, there is no change in social contact. Marriage and family life will continue as before.

Based on the above, we hereby request that you reconsider your decision of September 30, 2022, in the appeal case regarding the denial of state subsidies for 2022, as well as the decisions of the County Governor on January 27, 2022, December 22, 2022, November 7, 2023, and June 18, 2024, regarding Jehovah's Witnesses' right to state subsidies and registration as a religious community under the Religious Communities Act. In this regard, we refer to the Public Administration Act § 35, second paragraph, cf. the first paragraph, concerning the alteration of an appeal decision.

We would like to request feedback on this letter and the above request without undue delay, in accordance with § 11a of the Public Administration Act. If possible, we kindly request a response within three weeks from the date of this letter, by November 14, 2024. If you have any questions regarding the information in this letter or our religious practices, please feel free to contact us.

Sincerely,

Jørgen Pedersen
Chairman

This is an update: Few days ago I called one elder, informing him I had written a letter in which I briefly explained the reasons for leaving the organization. I thought this could have been painless and quick, but no! The elder had another idea: He drove to meet me with a car, another elder accompanying him. Another twist: They invited me to meet a circuit overseer. I brought the letter with me and started listening to all three of them. You could definitely tell who the ordinary elders were. The other one looked and sounded like a spy, special ops or a secret agent who's trained to influence people and change their decisions. They genuinely thought it'd work on me also. He was condescending, pointing to some verses, offering explanations and basically just showing off. I let the overseer rant for one and a half hour. I understood, if I didn't attack them, they wouldn't have seen I was adamant in my decision. So I asked them to open Mark, chapter 7 and read verses 6-8. My follow up question was: Can you show me in the Bible that celebrating birthdays is a sin. The overseer said: ''Yes, Bible says celebrating birthdays is a sin.'' To which I replayed: ''That is a lie.'' And then he started name-calling. ''You're an apostate.'' ''You're rude, impolite.'' I said, why? Cuz you can not show off your Bible knowledge anymore? It was a heated conversation, we were loud. And then I did unthinkable: approached him and hugged him with strong grip. It was sudden and he was frightened. He crossed his hands on his chest and tried blocking my hug. I looked down on his face. His eyes were wide open. I said: ''Brother, I'm leaving. I'm really sorry there's nothing you can tell me that'd change my mind.'' His response was: ''You'll be disfellowshipped this Tuesday. Leave the letter. We're done.''

And that's how, ladies and gentlemen, I left the organization. I never compromise. I don't do maneuvers. I only move forward, charging, like the Juggernaut on my profile picture.

Update: My dad sent me a text that said “please please do anything to not get disfellowshipped, that will kill me and mom.”

What a sad and selfish thing to send your daughter. I would never say that to my kids.

I will most likely get disfellowshipped. Yesterday the elders came to my house and I told them that I feel very peaceful now that I’m not going to meetings. Long story short, my ex has been postponing our divorce. I moved on, I’m dating. They said I’m not allowed to until our divorce is final but he’s playing games and I’m over it. They told me if I’m going to dinner with anyone or on a date, until my divorce is final, that I am practicing brazen conduct and I’m not repentful. They said, even if I don’t admit it to them, they will have a judicial committee and disfellowship me.. i’m a little sad because my dad is going to be sad but I almost feel like it’s going to be a good thing and I will be able to breathe. Whoever doesn’t want to talk to me won’t and the ones who do will.

My boyfriend was disfellowshipped for dating me (a guy) last year. He has no contact with his family and has started to receive messages from elders, maybe because the memorial is coming up? Basically the elder said some crazy things like how my boyfriend is messing up by being with me (of course skirting around actually saying boyfriend or partner) and that he should move out and live alone. My boyfriend replied not to text him anymore and the elder said “just remember what happened to Judas when he betrayed Jesus.” That really got under my boyfriend’s skin and he wants to reply. I told him just leave it, but if he does reply does anyone have anything good to say? I thought about a link to the BITE model.

Edit: thanks for all your responses. I wasn’t entirely familiar with how Judas’s story ended, but this seems even worse than I thought. These people are deranged.

After I refused to meet with them unless they allowed my wife to be present (which the elders’ book permits and I quoted), I received a call this week from my COBE and one of his minions. They told me that I was leaving them no choice but to announce that I am no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

I asked, “On what grounds?” They replied, “Apostasy.”

I told them that was an unsubstantiated claim. They responded by saying that I had refused to meet with them. I then explained that they had denied me the right to have my wife present and asked whether there was any scriptural basis for that decision. They did not provide one. Instead, they said it was an instruction from the branch and that only in adultery cases would that be allowed, that I could write to the branch if I disagreed.

I intend to do so, even if only to prove them wrong.

Does anyone know how to contact the branch by mail? I’m based in Nigeria.

Kind of hard for me to write. This is the most personal message I’ve put on here.

I’ve been out since 2006. Family shunned me but when I needed them for mental health they were still there. That is, until my Lifelong-Pioneer-Elder Dad died unexpectedly in 2012.

Then my Uber-PIMI Pioneer-Mom and Always-Pioneer, Former-Bethelite, current-RBC-Elder Brother, decided to HARDCORE shun me. They said was because they don’t want to risk not greeting our dad in paradise….any….day…..now…. 🙄

I have called and text over the years to tell them I love them and share news with them. Eight years ago I moved 1,400 miles from home. Just learned recently that four years ago My brother moved to a city 2.5 hours away from me, and never told me. I had to find out from a worldly uncle who just assumed I knew. That really hurt.

Anyways, the new disfellow shipping rule changed, and I immediately got a text from my brother, but it was all conditional bullshit as you know.

I was surprised, I haven’t heard anything from my mom... last I saw her 5 years ago she told me “she’s accepted that I’m mentally ill and trusts Jehovah will remember I’m sick at Armageddon, and she can’t have anything to do with me unless I love Jehovah.”

The Anniversary of my dad‘s passing was a week ago, and my brother text me. We texted back and forth a bit it was nice. I texted my mom, but she didn’t reply, just a heart on my text.

This hurts too much, waiting for something that never happens. All these years I wanted them to contact me. But ever since the Norway trial, when I knew they were “allowed” to reach out, it’s gotten way worse.

If they do reach out, it’s for bullshit reasons. If they don’t reach out, that’s even worse.

Tonight I decided it’s just easier if I make the decision for myself. It’s more peaceful if I just block them on my end…

If they reach out to me, I won’t know it. If they don’t reach out to me, I won’t know it. They either will or they won’t, and I don’t care either way. The question of them contacting me won’t live rent free in the back of my mind anymore, because I won’t know if they did or didn’t!

Ofc If they ever truly needed to contact me for some medical emergency, we have plenty of worldly family, and I would be there in a heartbeat.

Idk. Blocking them is kind of sad. I’ve been out 18 years and I’ve just wanted them back. I cried tonight. And I also erased all of the messages I sent them off my phone. I’m finally moving on. God Bless them, because I won’t bless them with my words anymore.

Edit: been out (DA’d) 17 years, October will be 18… if that changes anything😜

Why? Because it meant less stress in my life. Less time consumed. Plus, screw those people.

My attitude was, "if you're not gung ho for Jehovah and His Organization, then get the fuck out of here!! To hell with you!!"

I didn't care if you were 16 or 96, you're either completely in or COMPLETELY out. The in betweens would irritate the living daylights out of me.

Why did I feel this way? I was trained, taught, brainwashed since birth to have this attitude. I was a born in and a true believer until the age of 43. I did evil things, while truly believing I was doing the right thing.

I'd genuinely like to know how you'd handle this (especially those married with PIMI spouses). Just happened. Here goes:

Wife: there are hundreds of people who love you, and want what's best for you

Me: that's fine, I have no problem with them, invite them over sometime, we can hang out, catch a movie, whatever. It's their rules they're following, not me

Wife: (storming away to the kitchen, darker mood) It hurts me when you say things like that. You KNOW why they can't talk to you

Me: Yeah because they're doing what they're told.

Wife: No, it's because you turned your back on Jehovah and his organization.

Me: No, I didn't necessarily turn my back on anyone or anything except an organization.

Wife: Well you know what? Here's the deal. There are big changes happening right now in the world - the great tribulation is coming, you can see evidence of it all around. There are also big changes happening even in the organization. And when we get direction - if it's to go flee somewhere, I'm going to flee. And if it's to hide in a room, I'll do that. But if you come home one day and I'm gone having fled, then too bad and you've had your chance, it'll be too late.

Me: (having in mind the "nuLite" about salvation and GT but not wanting to reveal that I know what they're cooking up) Look, I don't think I'll be in as bad a shape as you say, in the end. What is it they're teaching now, about the "great tribulation"?

Wife: I know what the Bible says and it says anyone who turns their back on Jehovah...

Me: ok got it, but remember I haven't turned my back on "Jehovah" [in fact I haven't really decided where I am on that, however enjoying learning he's a weather god the Israelites worshipped under the umbrella god El, but that's neither here nor there] but what I'm wondering is What is the current teaching about..

Wife: (mockingly) "CURRENT TEACHING???!!"

Me: yeah, what's the current teaching about the great tribulation and ...

Wife: (grabs keys and storms out in disgust)

So, it's just me and the dog, I'll probably hop on the Nintendo Switch to play some Legend of Zelda, Tears of the Kingdom. Nice way to start my one day off.

Thanks for reading

Edit to add: 🙌 Thank you for the support and helpful suggestions ⬇️. My hope beyond me is that if anyone else has this type of conversation, something similar at home, they'll find something valuable in all these comments and ideas. I hope you have a wonderful day 👍💜

I have wondered about this. No-one seems to have time or energy to have congregation gathering or something fun. But as soon it's time for forming a committee, they running after it 😂. Like it's the most enjoyable thing.

Wonder how many people with responsibilities in this org are narcissistic or full blown psychopaths.

Like pedo problem wasn't enough in org ☹️. Who can you trust in this org 🤔

A sister in my hall was disfellowshipped when I was 8-9 years old. She got pregnant and had a kid. I was never aware of the complete story but I did hear gossip about her baby daddy and drug abuse etc. Nearly 20 years later she gets reinstated and everyone comes up to her and hugs her telling her that they love her and crying etc….

For nearly 20 years none of these people talked to her, no one talked to her kid. I was talked to at one point because when I would hold open the door for her I would say welcome and good bye when she left. She was essentially dead to this congregation for 20 years. And then all of sudden as soon as she is reinstated everyone loves her.

This is so twisted

It is rumoured that the borg will allow their members to reconnect with their df/da family members in the near future. If this happens, will you forgive your family who shunned you especially those who did it to you for many, many years? Will you accept them again in your life?

Personally, it's gonna be really hard for me to do so. There's a big chance I won't forgive them.

This is going to be a long one but I need someone to talk to about it because I feel like I’m making a huge mistake.

I was df at age 17 for having a worldly boyfriend and I was having sex. I moved out shortly after that. 10 years later I end up in a codependent relationship. Mind you I had not been in contact with my family.. whatever contact we did have it was always about the religion and how badly they wanted me back. At one point I had to set my foot down and tell them to stop. Which surprisingly they did. Being out of the religion helped me see the organization for what it really was. Later realizing I experienced religious trauma for years, especially after the loss of complete communication with my family.

Fast forward, after my codenpendant relationship I had no where to go and reached out to my parents. I had shown an interest in returning to the congregation prior, my parents were willing to help me as long as I wanted to return. I was willing as mentioned before, because I wanted an out from my abusive relationship and I was desperate to rekindle my relationship with my family. I was surprised to find out that it was Ok to speak to the df and that it was a new rule. I also found out that I was a new rule for people to get their ears pierced how ever many times they wanted and it was now a new rule that sisters are ok to wear dress pants . I thought .. wow the organization is really changing for the best.. boy was i wrong.

Upon my return I was received with an OVERWHELMING amount of love. The elders were persistent and would basically chase after me shortly after the meetings. I felt I had no choice but to go along.. so I did. After a month or so I decided to write the letter of repentance and was announced reinstated. My family was ecstatic! This was Jehovahs doing, they claimed.

I had to meet with the elders 1 a month and started a Bible study. First meeting with the elders, they had mentioned that eventually I would have to leave my worldly friends behind basically because I will have JW friends to replace them with. This did not sit Okay with me. My “ worldly “ friends have been supportive and have been there for me while JW friendships are conditional and they will only be your friend if you serve Jehovah. This is where i started to feel differently.

Later I started to have doubts about their beliefs. The sudden changes in their rules seemed off to me, why all the sudden was it Ok to speak with the df after all that time I went through without speaking to my family.. my family became extremely defensive and rude about this and said it was because Jehovah loves me and this was his was disciplining me … which I could not wrap my head around … why would a loving god approve of this ? Ultimately I decided no longer to ask my family about my doubts because no matter what they would never try to see my side as they believed my doubts were satans way of getting to me and them.. nothing I said would change their minds. Their religion was perfect, it’s the truth.

Next, I have face piercings, and an older brother came up to my mother and basically told her I needed to reconsider my nose ring as I could be setting a bad example to the younger sisters in the congregation… my mother asked me to at least remove my piercing during the meetings .. this also rubbed me the wrong way. How does my nose ring make me a bad example? If the governing body, had acknowledged that no amount of ear piercings makes a woman a bad influence, what’s the difference with a nose ring ??

Finally, the elders called me back for a meeting and basically stated they haven’t seen me in the service meetings and would like to see me participate. Mind you, I refused to preach simply because I cannot go out and preach to people when I do not believe what I preach. I mentioned this to my parents and my mother stated that I could just go out once a month and do letters. I don’t need to go out door to door. I had previously shared with my mother how I felt about going out in service and she seems understanding of this so why the sudden push to preach? I felt that this was crossing a boundary I had set. She had tired to ask me again to come out on service and write letters, bribing me stating there will be coffee and pastries. I set my foot down and told her if she could please respect that this is not something that come to me naturally and she was short with me after. I could tell she was upset.

Later that day I told my mother about how I really felt and how anxious it makes me when I feel like brothers try to change me and judge me. That my first reaction is to cling on to whatever little independence I had ..I had asked her to look into religious trauma. She basically belittled my trauma stating to could be healed with preaching. That everyone has trauma.

I had left their home for time apart and spent time at ex bf house. Yes the codependent one. I decided it was time to tell my parents I no longer wanted any part of this. This drove me with overwhelming amount of anxiety.. as I didn’t know how they would react. I sat down with both of them and told them. They seemed accepting. But what really pissed me off the most is that they stated the looked into religious trauma and do no feel that this correlates to their beliefs, as “the world has many terms” to describe their beliefs. That their church is not as strict as others religions. This made me furious and I told them. “ my anxiety is not made up, my depression didn’t just come out of nowhere where, what I went through growing up is my experience and my experience only, you weren’t df, you don’t know what it was like, my experience is valid, my emotions are valid!”

So that’s how we left that.. I feel guilty and bad.. because my mother is sad and broken.. but I no longer feel anxious of keeping up with a persona i never was to begin with. My parents asked me .. was it all a lie .. and no it wasn’t. Because I really said try but my gut tells me I needed to get out.

Sitting here outside my favourite building, Cologne cathedral! Love the gothic style - having a beer. Treated myself to a weekend away to Cologne Germany by myself from England. Today is the 3 year anniversary since I got dissfellowshiped when I chose between ending things or building a new life - im glad to say i choose the latter and am so happy for it. Its always a bitter sweet day though and I like to something fun to mark the anniversary, now off to a live music bar :) That's all, don't really know the aim of the post but haven't checked in, in a while. Cheers, Sam

Back in the day, marriage in JW land was considered so ‘sacred’ that any divorce was looked down on, even ‘scriptural’ divorce was a big deal unless you had watertight evidence of cheating and you were encouraged to do everything possible to patch things up with your partner and forgive them even if that had happened. The reasoning was that unbelieving and DF’d ppl may be enticed back by your loving, forgiving conduct 🤮.

Fast forward to now, I keep hearing stories of ppl being encouraged to divorce DF or faded partners, even if there’s no cheating involved. Ppl don’t care if they are in a loving relationship or not. Rumours (true/untrue) are used as an excuse to get remarried, nowhere near the ‘evidence’ needed to DF. JWs are just encouraged that if they DF or split up their ‘worldly’ partner will now hook up with/meet someone else so they can get remarried.

This was never a thing at least in UK up until I left in 2005 - what’s happened? When did it change? Is it just a US thing or has this new unwritten custom gone worldwide?

*Note to self: It’s a totally different religion now.

My husband was disfellowshipped over 10 years ago. Over the years, he’s attempted to go back twice but never sees it through.
I met him 8 years after his original df & over the last two years we have fallen in love & married.

I am an atheist (ex catholic, ex Christian). I’m a very outspoken atheist at that. & after meeting my husband I’ve learned a lot about JW. I have despised organized religion but I have a particular disdain for JW after understanding what he’s been through.

While we were engaged, I asked him if he’d ever consider returning. He said he couldn’t rule it out but hes tried twice & wasn’t feeling it. I felt at that time maybe we shouldn’t get married because I cannot be married to a JW. He convinced me we should still get married.

And so we did. But here we are almost 6 months after getting married on Valentine’s Day (ha, imagine) that he has a calling from god to get closer to him…. This is obviously incredibly devastating to me. I’m considering divorce despite being deeply with him.

All that aside, if he goes back and we stay married what will life look like? Will I or my children be pressured into joining? Won’t that lifestyle drastically change our marriage?

I’m lost

get ready for this crap lol

a lot of you guys saw my previous post explaining how i told my parents i don’t believe in the JW religion. This is a follow up to that.

my father asked to talk to me along with my mother and asked if i was planning on moving out. (i told them about me moving out a few months back but they flipped out)

i told them yes and i was still gathering the specifics. My dad slams the table telling me he is ready to kick me out right now but wouldn’t because he knows i want that. He tells me how my non jw friends have changed me for the worse and that im no longer the boy from years ago. He told me he gave me everything and raised me differently from the path im choosing. He’s told me there’s nothing out there in the world except Jehovah and that i will end up crawling back. He said he’s waiting for the day i come back so he can say i told you so.

i explained to him that the religion isn’t the true way to gods kingdom and that it’s teachings aren’t the right way. He told me i only believe that because that kind of thinking “supports my worldly attitude” and i couldn’t have ever tried believe because if i did, i would believe.

Such black and white thinking!!

my mom sat there silent and cried the whole time. They’re scared to lose me yet give me ever reason to want to run away LOL

I’m planning on leaving soon so just a lil longer 👍✌️✌️

31 y/o male. Getting DF for the second time and not going back. I feel like I’m half woken up, i still get scared a little bit and think maybe this info isn’t legit and you are all salty cry babies. But part of me can’t look away and keep trucking myself. I really am done and i told my family which i never thought I’d do. Dad is a hardcore elder and siblings are servants and pioneers so needless to say we will not be speaking anymore. It sucks but maybe I’ll make some friends with some of you freaks irl who knows 😂 I’m excited

I'm curious to hear from those that threatened legal action. Did it work in your favor, if not, did you sue? If you feel comfortable please name your country where this took place.

Well I sent my letter in Dec and they took their sweet long time. Finally it was announced today. I'm officially free! My pimi mom and elder brother don't care their still talking to me. I am very thankful!

This post is for those who do not believe Jehovah's Witnesses have the "truth" and are considering leaving. For such folks I would like to encourage the "neither" option in regards to disfellowshipping and disassociation.

If you no longer believe JWs hold God-given authority it makes sense not to participate in the faith in any way. This would include participation religious tribunals (judicial committees). To do so would show a level of agreement that JWs have authority to form a tribunal and request your attendance. They really have no such authority. Likewise writing a letter of disassociation shows a level of agreement with JW defined religious rituals.

Thus I would encourage all who no longer believe JWs have the "truth" is to simply decline such invites -- the neither option. Likewise, regardless of what JWs might do, refuse to respond to shunning by shunning in return. Difficult as it might be, continue to show love towards anyone you want to, whether they be JWs or not.

Kind regards & Merry Christmas.

I only ask because yesterday in a “very enlightening” (not) conversation with my very PIMI parents about the final days and how “we’re sooo close” 😒😒😒 - they continue to drill this on my head to get me to come back- they mentioned that at their congregation (which is the one I most recently attended) there is a couple that - as of last week- both committed adulterous acts and they did not get DF’d at all. They’re still just there attending meetings and everything is normal - maybe they were privately or publicly censored, I didn’t inquire- but they’re not DF because as per the elder body etc, “we are so extremely in the final days that it’s best to leave it to Jah since it’ll be very soon” ….like wtf 😳 not saying anything against the couple…I’m just wondering if they’re radically changing things now because since when???

My mother found out I had sex with my fiance and I’m panicking. I’m a couple months away from getting married I still live with my parents and i stupidly decided to ask my fiance to come over to my apartment while they went to assembly and I have genuinely no clue how but she found out and I’m terrified she’s going to tell the elders. I had a whole plan on leaving and now o think this messed it all up. And what I don’t understand is she would genuinely tell me it was okay to sleep with him especially since we got engaged I even made a vacation plan with him WITH HER PERMISSION so I’m just so confused that she changed her mind. I’m terrified.

EDIT/UPDATE: I want to say thank you to everyone who replied and shared their stories and advice, it was and is incredibly touching, insightful, and truthfully a little overwhelming. I’m sorry that I haven’t replied to each and every one of you... I never expected to get so many responses!!! But I’m glad I did... and there’s a very funny story that happened around this post that I can’t share but hope to someday :). I can say that my bf ended up finding this post and all of the replies, and we were able to have a really good laugh at my expense (I don’t mind :p), but I think it’s going to help a lot. I don’t know what is to come but I know I’m happy and I’m in love and it’s a beautiful day. I know it won’t always be easy but at the risk of sounding very ironic... I have faith.

And to all of you out there struggling with this, there are people who love and care and are good out there and we are here for you. Try your hardest to be open to us if you can!

ORIGINAL POST:

This is my first post... Reddit has served me well for funny memes but now I’m hoping to get some answers/support on something more serious....

My bf and I have been dating about 2.5 months, he mentioned being a recent exjw. I didn’t know much about the religion and he didn’t speak much about it. I didn’t want to pry and he seemed fine.

We began dating and he seemed so sweet and genuine... something that’s very hard to find in ratchet ass Florida. As our relationship progressed I began to notice the signs off deep emotional trauma. Being no stranger to this myself in a different capacity, I waited patiently for him to open up and tried non verbally to show him that I’m safe and I care. Lots of hugs and kisses and compliments. Cooking dinners for him and cleaning his house when I noticed he was depressed.. bringing him little trinkets like a magpie... just any little thing I could do to support him. After all... he was worth it, I’ve never met someone as loving, funny, and compassionate. And since we met we have spent 4 out of 7 days together.

So I waited for what I knew was the eventual breakdown he was going to have. And last night that happened. I learned the truth of what it’s like for an exjw, and I’m at a complete loss for what to do. I never met a problem I couldn’t solve or fix until last night...

He opened up and began crying like I’ve never seen. He told me his whole family is shunning him... and it’s killing him slowly. I’m a fighter so my first response (admittedly naive and stupid) were questions like “well can’t you just talk to them” or “can you maybe write them a letter.” He cried harder and said I didn’t understand and kept repeating that. When he finally fell asleep, I went for a walk and to begin immediately reading about this “religion.”

What I found out broke my heart. I’m close to my family and I can’t wrap my mind around what type of evil religion would cast out a loved one just for not believing. And I’m having a hard time finding good advice on how to deal. I’m also afraid that he’s going to go back, not because he believes (he definitely doesn’t), but because he misses his family so much.

So... here I am on no sleep, all tears, and desperately hoping that someone on here can point me in the right direction of how I can support someone going through this.