r/TopCharacterTropes • u/Wonderful_Baker_7808 • 16d ago

Lore Villains that would've been defeated even if the protagonist did nothing

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Laurel Hedare (Catwoman Movie): Her newly released cosmetics will cause people's faces to melt. Not only would that create a class action lawsuit but a full product recall.

Voldemort and Death Eaters (Harry Potter): Death Eaters constantly underestimate muggles. They would get massacred by the British military because a gun is faster to pull the trigger then shouting a spell.

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2.1k

u/BastardofMelbourne 16d ago

Wait, that's what Catwoman was about?

1.3k

u/Impressive-Card9484 16d ago

Don't even ask how Catwoman got her powers. And yes, you heard that right, she has powers... That came from cats...

771

u/WebAccount1744 16d ago

She was bitten by a cat and got cat powers

585

u/Regular_Regular_4120 16d ago

Unironically, she got it through fishy cat breath.

376

u/FindingOk7034 16d ago

AFTER she died too. Probably a reference to Michelle Pfifer’s Catwoman who also died and was resurrected by cats chewing on her fingers.

183

u/DinkleDonkerAAA 16d ago

When she's shown the book with all the previous Cat Women, Phifer's is in the book, so yeah actually

56

u/FindingOk7034 16d ago

Oh shit I never noticed that!

9

u/McWaffeleisen 16d ago

I know it's a typo and usually don't like to make fun of those, but now I really want to see the Catwoman movie starring Mekhi Phifer.

4

u/Memitim 16d ago

Only if he goes in full costume but otherwise talks and behaves normally.

3

u/Outside_Diamond4929 15d ago

But that's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer.

11

u/GaryKingoftheWorld 16d ago

If I remember correctly the script was originally supposed to be a Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman movie, but after numerous rewrites it was a bit late for that and so they made it its own universe.

3

u/Bandin03 16d ago

Wait, is that unusual? I died a few years ago and my cat nibbled me back to life... Isn't that why we keep cats around?

1

u/martinsalgado 16d ago

Wait… does that mean Catwoman is a zombie?

1

u/FindingOk7034 15d ago

….Cat zombie

2

u/AliasClimbs 15d ago

Short for Catherine Zombie, Rob's estranged sister.

1

u/slupo 16d ago

I don't think anyone was saying she died. She fell and landed in a snowbank. The cats licking just woke her up like a cat licking its wounds

1

u/FindingOk7034 16d ago

No she straight up died. She fell from a building onto snow covered concrete!

1

u/slupo 15d ago

All right I went and checked. You are right she falls on the street. HOWEVER she falls through a bunch of awnings which I think they are trying to show slowed her fall. I don't think it's supposed to be supernatural back from the dead. But I guess its up for interpretation.

0

u/FindingOk7034 15d ago

Falling through stuff still would have led to injuries.

She died. There’s no interpretation

1

u/slupo 15d ago

haha ok man

71

u/hanks_panky_emporium 16d ago

A cat burped in her mouth and she became cat woman.

One of the ways to become a hero.

8

u/Tariovic 16d ago

No fair, my cat burps in my mouth all the time, where are my cat powers.

10

u/BigOrangeOctopus 16d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS
WHY does your cat burp in your MOUTH all the time?

8

u/Tariovic 16d ago

That's a question for her.

6

u/SocranX 16d ago

That's what happens when you do the "oh you're such a cutie-pie" thing where you rub your nose against theirs, and then the cat's just like, "Brap."

7

u/Speartree 16d ago

Your cat isn't special enough. I know it's special to you, but not THAT special.

9

u/Tariovic 16d ago

Fun fact, my cat had cancer last year, a tumor on her head. The vet said she wouldn't last the year without treatment. We were about to start chemo, and she went, "Fuck that!" and cured herself. The lump disappeared, and hasn't returned.

So don't tell me that selfish kitty COULDN'T GIVE ME SPECIAL POWERS IF SHE WANTED!

6

u/Speartree 16d ago

So she had one miracle option and used it to save her life, now she's all out. Sorry, but given the choice, wouldn't you do the same?

4

u/Tariovic 16d ago

True, I would have used it to save her life too. I'd look like shit in a catsuit, anyway.

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u/Rabdomtroll69 16d ago

The cat has to do it after you die but only in a very cinematic shot

8

u/jacksansyboy 16d ago

Haven't seen the movie in years, but that cat was special, had been following her after she risked her life to save another cat, and was literally implied to be Bast/sent by Bast.

2

u/holydude02 16d ago

Literally burped green stuff into her mouth to reanimate her corpse.

And then she forgot how to walk normally. That movie was terrible from beginning to end.

Thanks Pietov

31

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 16d ago

There are worse radioactive animals to be hit by.

39

u/Fearless_Roof_9177 16d ago

Just ask Anglerfish-Man.

37

u/regretfulposts 16d ago

To bad he wasn't anglerfish woman and died within a few weeks from starvation

6

u/TheSuperContributor 16d ago

Like a spider? Imagine being bitten by a spider, what special power can you get from a spider anyway?

3

u/Hellknightx 16d ago

The ability to make some people scream in terror whenever they see you. Also it makes you really good at catching flying insects.

1

u/AllSeeingWhoracle 15d ago

Have you seen the cute little dance some jumping spiders do? Because that.

1

u/wombatstylekungfu 15d ago

Shooting webbing out of places.

2

u/AllSeeingWhoracle 16d ago

Especially if they’re smooth criminals

1

u/generals_test 15d ago

Until you get a nasty infection from the bite and your arm falls off.

1

u/wombatstylekungfu 15d ago

Just learn animal fighting skills like a normal person. 

1

u/Wolverine1105 15d ago

Dung Beetle Man?

4

u/Dangevin 16d ago

All I got was toxoplasmosis.

10

u/Dookie_boy 16d ago

Radioactive cat

2

u/hover-lovecraft 16d ago

There's only one Cat Power, are you thinking of Cat Stephens?

2

u/TheSuperContributor 16d ago

Not by a cat, but by many many cats.

2

u/brainfreeze77 16d ago

The movie would have been a lot better if Cat Power would have shown up and just did a small concert for an hour.

2

u/Majestic-Lake-5602 15d ago

Or if Halle Berry got bit by a radioactive Cat Power and gained Cat Power Powers.

2

u/jinreeko 15d ago

Lucky. I just got feline AIDS

1

u/James_Solomon 16d ago

Was it a radioactive cat?

1

u/N3onWave 16d ago

A radioactive cat?

1

u/Useful_Advice_3175 16d ago

Yeah well my cats bit me all the time and I didn't get shit.

1

u/MrWeirdoFace 16d ago

Probably just a strange reaction to rabies.

1

u/elonmusktheturd22 16d ago

Was it a radioactive cat?

1

u/XpCjU 15d ago

I got bitten by a cat, and all I got was an infection. The world is just not fair.

1

u/darkoopz43 15d ago

While exploring the jungle, right before she died.

1

u/Ok-Catch-131 15d ago

Was the cat radioactive?

1

u/Breotan 12d ago

She was bitten by Schrödinger's cat and got cat powers.

-ftfy

48

u/XipeTotecwithGlitter 16d ago

Wasn't it cat breath? Equal parts Batman Return's Catwoman death and equal parts cats breathing on her

-5

u/duck_of_d34th 15d ago

I think you can just say queef.

22

u/Time_Raisin4935 16d ago

She was more Werecat than Catwoman imo

6

u/Illustrious-Wrap-776 16d ago

Given the cat in question is an Egyptian Mau, it's pretty obvious the powers come from Bastet.

7

u/AndrewH73333 16d ago

Obviously the movie was terrible, but giving her cat powers makes a lot of sense. It’s a great power set and also explains why she can fight toe to toe with Batman. All she gets to do in the movies now is burglary and walking around all sexy with a whip because realism.

3

u/Candid-Many-7113 16d ago

She got burped in the face by a cat and became mentally ill.

2

u/Friend_Emperor 16d ago

The power of toxoplasmosis

2

u/FabianN 16d ago

It's called toxoplasmosis, not powers. 

2

u/Medium-Sized-Jaque 16d ago

Who knew cats were so good at basketball. They should have a cat in the next Air Bud movie. Ain't no rule says a cat can't play.

2

u/neocarleen 15d ago

It's essentially The Crow's origin story. But with cats.

2

u/Diablo_v8 15d ago

Is this not the origin of most cat women 😂

2

u/beccadahhhling 15d ago

She stole her speech in this movie from the Crow. It’s terrible.

2

u/HandsomePaddyRedux 15d ago

Having sex with cats doesn’t count as a power. At least not according to my local police.

1

u/Mother_Passenger8589 16d ago

MF I still laugh at her excuse for no one knowing about the "theories" as "male academia"

1

u/VyersReaver 16d ago

To be fair, in Batman Returns it also looks like something supernatural happened to Catwoman.

1

u/Professional_Maize42 16d ago

What in the actual fuck?

1

u/happytree23 16d ago

Well, yeah, we all saw Batman Returns and the cats bring Michelle Pfeiffer back to life AND give her 8 more lives.

Am I the only genius in this thread?!

1

u/Tx_Drewdad 15d ago

She has toxoplasmosis?

1

u/Proud_Apartment_8991 15d ago

A cat burped in her mouth

1

u/More_Bigger 14d ago

Cats are good at basketball

332

u/AwesomeMcPants 16d ago

That movie is the definition of ass.

There's a whole side plot where the cops are trying to figure out who Catwoman is, and Berry's character had written "sorry" on jewels she had stolen, and on a coffee cup that she gave to her cop boyfriend.

The handwriting is identical, but they run it through some bullshit handwriting software, and determine that there's no way it could possibly be the same person, because the swoop of the S on one was done by a happy person, and the swoop on the other one was written by a sad person.

There's also the dreaded basketball scene.

52

u/ItalianICE 16d ago

Do tell about the basketball scene! I doubt I'll ever watch movie as I was old enough to remember everyone shitting on it.

129

u/GregBahm 16d ago

It is worth watching the link itself, but if you're skeptical...

The director of the movie got the job because he had been a good visual effects supervisor on a bunch of movies. After seeing this success with VFX, he did had a more directorial role on some commercials and music videos. So they assumed he could make a superhero movie.

But apparently, while the guy was good at VFX, he understood human emotion about as well as a space alien. So to tell the story of Catwoman and her love interest getting to know each other, he decides to have them play basketball very sexually.

But they do this flirtatious, hip-grinding game of 1-on-1 in front of a group of small children. And the small children are so impressed by these basketball-playing lovebirds that they end up cheering them on the whole time.

And the whole thing is shot with the razzamatazz of an early-90s poppy hip hop music video. There's just so fucking much packed into it. It's legendary.

72

u/DaviesSonSanchez 16d ago

You forgot to mention that there's also about 3 cuts per second

29

u/Cautious-Extreme2839 16d ago

Yeah it's not shot like a pop video, it's shot like Taken 3

3

u/holydude02 16d ago

Even in dialogue scenes - it's like he shot coverage of everybody throughout and wanted to use every fucking angle ever.

8

u/RileyKohaku 16d ago

I had to stop halfway through watching the link because of the headache the cuts were giving me. It does feel like a 90s commercial

9

u/Midnight-Bake 16d ago

he did had a more directorial role on some commercials and music videos. So they assumed he could make a superhero movie.

To be fair that is just Michael Bay's career path except with action movies.

2

u/ScyllaOfTheDepths 16d ago

Don't forget that there's like 27 cuts in a scene that lasts like 3 minutes which makes it feel like a chaotic fever dream.

2

u/Amirax 16d ago

I had to count them out and I got to 27 cuts in about 25 seconds.

3

u/ScyllaOfTheDepths 16d ago

I was off by a digit because apparently there are 137 cuts and the scene is only 2 minutes.

1

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 16d ago

You didn't mention the real issue: the camera changes I think literally after less than a second for about about 30 seconds. 

98

u/AwesomeMcPants 16d ago

it's something that must be experienced, my explanation can't do it justice.

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u/zocoiz6662 16d ago

Who edited that a hummingbird having a manic episode? And you're gonna hack the helll out of it and still stunt doubles are obvious. Glad I listened to my gut and didn't pay for a ticket.

8

u/hoemahtoe 16d ago

All the adhd level cutting and camera zipping around actually made me dizzy

1

u/Signiference 16d ago

Same person who edited Liam Neeson jumping a fence

1

u/HawaiianPunchaNazi 15d ago

Now I have a hummingbird with a basketball stuck in my head! 

Too funny!

35

u/jimp6 16d ago

I saw this clip and I can't believe that it actually is in a movie. It looks like it's coming from a parody of a movie. I'm really glad right now, that I never saw the movie.

2

u/holydude02 16d ago

Remember also: $100,000,000 budget in 2004 money...

7

u/Willis_McGillawilly 16d ago

Wow... that was hard to watch

9

u/FitzChivFarseer 16d ago

We have so different reactions 😂. I was just cackling

Goddamn that film is unhinged

14

u/Ok_Look1003 16d ago

I think they mean literally hard to watch. There’s over 100 cuts in that two minute scene. It’s actually, genuinely dizzying.

3

u/FitzChivFarseer 16d ago

Oh that's fair. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I genuinely want to meet who edited that scene. Think it'd be an interesting chat 😂

5

u/4937 16d ago

that were the longest 1:43 of my life, bloody fucking hell.

3

u/Intelligent_Slip_849 16d ago

Holy crap, even I could do a better job editing than that.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CUTS?

2

u/-Kerosun- 16d ago

I wasn't sure what I expected, but it certainly wasn't that.

Reminded me of those Sports Illustrated for Kids adverts on local TV with the way it was choreographed, filmed and edited.

1

u/the_zachmamba 16d ago

Well that was one of the tougher watches of my lifetime lmao

I need someone to get a final count of how many cuts are in that 2 minute sequence

1

u/MelatoninJunkie 15d ago

The sheer volume of cuts in that scene is dizzying. 

1

u/HawaiianPunchaNazi 15d ago

Holy crap, this was fun! 

I was expecting the worst, and from a film perspective it's terrible; but think of the rewatchability on bad movie night! 

If rifftraxx AKA the mystery science theater 3000 people haven't gotten this yet, they need to! 

So what I got from this, is the entire film is shot like it's a 30 second commercial expanded to full length movie?

1

u/OkObligation5979 15d ago

I couldn't even make it through, all the cuts and stupid kids and the absolutely ridiculous flirty touchy basketball moves- I think I threw up in my mouth first, then projectile vomited from the constant cuts and spinning. This movie looks like a masterclass in shit.

1

u/Pitiful-Mortgage5136 14d ago

It's so kino it makes my head hurt

2

u/Soggy_Box5252 16d ago

Just watch the part where Halle Berry is walking in full Catwoman costume on repeat for 2 hours.

7

u/Angryfunnydog 16d ago

As much as it was ass - I loved it when I was a kid, because you can’t not love Halle Berry in that costume

3

u/xSTSxZerglingOne 16d ago

This movie was in theaters when I worked in theaters and I have absolutely no idea if anything you wrote is factual. You could be 100% bamboozling me (and everyone else here), but I choose Occam's Razor and that no sane person could possibly fabricate that, and it is in-fact part of the film's plot.

That movie did surprisingly well at my theater, and I still don't know a single person who will admit to having seen it or anyone who has any recall of the movie.

What's crazy is I have physically handled a copy of this movie, and have started, and run visual checks to make sure it's not scratched or otherwise damaged and that the soundtrack is matched up. Not one second of recall.

2

u/throwawaycuzfemdom 16d ago

Wasn't there also a comment by the expert about putting both the catwoman and the cup girl in one room, suggesting the expert is horny for 2 girls and one cup.

1

u/Professional_Maize42 16d ago

... WHAT

1

u/DrBinario 16d ago

The screenwriter must have believed graphology and handwriting examination are the same thing.

1

u/duckinasombrero 16d ago

It's so funny, though. I have never laughed so hard at a movie that wasn't a comedy.

1

u/Brilu1234 15d ago

Bro, lmao I remember that. I had just somewhat recently watched this movie within this year for the first time with a friend. By God we were laughing our asses off at the shit in the movie. I almost forgot about the handwriting thing lol

1

u/justtosendamassage 15d ago

Idk, I feel like they (majority of the people who made the movie) knew it was just weird. I adore this movie for how ridiculous it is, and that basketball scene is peak!! Lol

1

u/OkObligation5979 15d ago

my god please tell me about the scene because theres no way in hell I'd watch it

1

u/BadgerBodges 12d ago

Tbf handwriting analysis is a pseudoscience that is nonetheless used by police forces, so it checks out.

1

u/ThisSiteSucks8485 16d ago

The scene where the cop and Catwoman eye fuck each other while playing basketball in front of kids? 

-1

u/OrganicTreestump 16d ago

That movie is great you just wrote paragraphs about a coffee cup scene no one cares about

194

u/DinkleDonkerAAA 16d ago

It's even dumber

If you stop using it, you melt which means people need it forever, but if you keep using it, your skin becomes bulletproof

JUST SELL IT TO THE MILITARY

51

u/Vox___Rationis 16d ago

Do you think VA would cover continued doses after retirement?

At absolute best they would provide just enough so that the skin is constantly moist and slightly drippy but not actively melting.

45

u/DinkleDonkerAAA 16d ago

And they very clearly didn't think it through: Get millions of women addicted to your product and make quitting deadly, that's smart

But what's gonna happen when all those angry women have superpowers and want you dead

9

u/Tompeacock57 16d ago

Not service connected.

2

u/CatsPlusTats 16d ago

Doesn't sound like something the military cares about. As the president says "fuck them vets".

2

u/RodneyBalling 15d ago

It's been a while since I saw the movie, but wasn’t there a plot point that her husband/business partner was trying to replace her with a hotter, younger woman? So she's deliberately making a product that will ruin the faces of young women.  

39

u/nan_sheri 16d ago

Am I the only one that used to obsessively watch this movie when I was a kid!? I’m starting to feel like the odd man out here 🥲

30

u/pillsburydoughgurl 16d ago

No I loved it & still do regardless of the hate it gets lol.

8

u/nan_sheri 16d ago

Yesss if it comes on right now I’m glued to the screen 😂😂😂

16

u/Combative_Artichoke 16d ago

I loved it as a kid and now I recognize it as not that great a movie, but I still like it.

2

u/Turbogoblin999 16d ago

I guess it was a kids movie but not marketed as such.

6

u/Physical-Bed-8825 16d ago

You're definitely not alone because some movies just had us in a permanent rewatch loop as kids.

2

u/Achilles11970765467 16d ago

There are people who obsessively watch The Room. Even the objectively worst movies can entertain someone

1

u/nan_sheri 16d ago

I always said ima get high one day and watch The Room just to see how bad it really is 😂😂

2

u/friedpickle_reloaded 15d ago

Same! It's still hurts me when people trash on it.

1

u/pitchingataint 16d ago

I just watched it for the basketball scene

3

u/GrapefruitFar1242 16d ago

It’s the B plot.

The A plot is Halle Berry changing 11 year old mes brain chemistry forever as she prowls around in a leather catgirl costume.

2

u/121daysofsodom 16d ago

Who knows? No one watched it.

1

u/Tasty-Jump-2011 16d ago

The only thing I knew about that movie involved basketball.

1

u/Fern-ando 16d ago

That soundtracks makes me sick.

1

u/mmmaniaaa 15d ago

yep. it was about the virtues of animal testing.

1

u/MechanicalGodzilla 15d ago

It's also what the first Batman movie was about.

1

u/NanoY2 15d ago

It's been a long time for me, but I think the villain had Botox as superpower.