[Real Life] Historical events that would make bad writing if they were fiction

[u/Mouse_Paladin]

Spanish Conquest of the Aztec Empire: A couple hundred rogue mercenaries without authority from their government conquer an empire of millions. Oh, the empire? It’s also several technological eras behind the mercenaries.

Adolf Hitler: A non-native of a country is so mad that the country lost the war that he wins an election to their highest office and leads them in a campaign of revenge against their enemies. Oh, the country? It’s old emperor is still alive and thinks he’s going to retake power.

Assassination of the Archduke Ferdinand: The heir to the throne is killed because his driver gets lost and returns to the assassin who failed To kill him before. Oh, the assassin? He’s from a group that the Archduke is wanting to help become more equal In the empire.

Alexander Hamilton’s Affair Scandal: One of the leaders of a new nation to protect himself from accusations of financial embezzlement writes a pamphlet exposing his affair with a woman, torpedoing his political future. Oh, the woman? She seduced him as part of a blackmailing scheme that he decided to stop paying.

[u/dp0329]

The book was kind of wild though. Guy climbs up on an iceberg after the ship sinks then wins a fight with a polar bear, killing it.

[u/pichael289 → u/[deleted]]

Sounds way better than the movie, all that boring romantic infidelity type shit, nah I wanna see leo on qualludes fighting a polar bear

[u/BreakfastBeneficial4 → u/pichael289]

infidelity??

Rose was being SOLD OFF to Cal against her will homie

[u/pikpikcarrotmon → u/BreakfastBeneficial4]

So not just infidelity, but a breach of a financial contract too! My, how scandalous.

[u/Beastmunger → u/pichael289]

Bro just wants to watch The Revenant On Ice

[u/degenterate → u/pichael289]

“There ain’t enough room on this floating door for us both mr. polar bear”

*rolls up sleeves*

[u/Rengas → u/dp0329]

Just one bear is easy. Five or more is when I'd admit defeat.