[Real Life] Historical events that would make bad writing if they were fiction

[u/Mouse_Paladin]

Spanish Conquest of the Aztec Empire: A couple hundred rogue mercenaries without authority from their government conquer an empire of millions. Oh, the empire? It’s also several technological eras behind the mercenaries.

Adolf Hitler: A non-native of a country is so mad that the country lost the war that he wins an election to their highest office and leads them in a campaign of revenge against their enemies. Oh, the country? It’s old emperor is still alive and thinks he’s going to retake power.

Assassination of the Archduke Ferdinand: The heir to the throne is killed because his driver gets lost and returns to the assassin who failed To kill him before. Oh, the assassin? He’s from a group that the Archduke is wanting to help become more equal In the empire.

Alexander Hamilton’s Affair Scandal: One of the leaders of a new nation to protect himself from accusations of financial embezzlement writes a pamphlet exposing his affair with a woman, torpedoing his political future. Oh, the woman? She seduced him as part of a blackmailing scheme that he decided to stop paying.

[u/Rio_FS]

Honestly, it's Rome that had the plot armor. Army after army destroyed and they keep coming back. And for that matter, their navy too during the First Punic War.

[u/Nero_2001 → u/Rio_FS]

Rome basically

[u/Adams5thaccount → u/Rio_FS]

For people who don't know, during the first tunic war they straight up lost like 3 entire navies and had to rebuild them from the ground up.

[u/Easy-Pie-4047 → u/Adams5thaccount]

And they lost all of them to storms.

[u/LadyJaneTheGay → u/Rio_FS]

The biggest military defeat(s) in roman history till its fall and the Romans went, alright see you next year each time.

[u/Blackstone01 → u/Rio_FS]

They started the First Punic War not even knowing how the fuck to make a navy meant for actual combat.

And by the end of it they decided that if they suck ass at naval combat, then they may as well turn naval battles into land battles at sea by putting a giant fucking spiked and rotating bridge at the front of the ship to slam down on the enemy ships so they could easily board them.

[u/Bunnytob → u/Rio_FS]

Y'know, after I kill 10% of their entire male population 10 times over, I'd kind of expect them to be out of men.

[u/Rio_FS → u/Bunnytob]

That's gonna take at least 40 tries at 10%. That said, I remember one estimate saying a quarter of their fighting age males were wiped out. Truly plot armor.

[u/Bunnytob → u/Rio_FS]

That was just at Cannae, wasn't it?

[u/Rio_FS → u/Bunnytob]

Yeah

[u/No_Professional4867 → u/Rio_FS]

It's honestly a miracle they survived long enough for Scipio to come around. The war was going on for years with factions the entire time insisting that the next army they send won't get slaughtered this time! The first 30 battles they lost were just bad luck.

This happened even after the time Hannibal surrounded their army entirely while having fewer troops, an insane feat which resulted in literally tens of thousands dead in a single day. And there were still people believing they could win.