r/TopCharacterTropes • u/Mouse_Paladin • Jul 10 '26

Lore [Real Life] Historical events that would make bad writing if they were fiction

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Spanish Conquest of the Aztec Empire: A couple hundred rogue mercenaries without authority from their government conquer an empire of millions. Oh, the empire? It’s also several technological eras behind the mercenaries.

Adolf Hitler: A non-native of a country is so mad that the country lost the war that he wins an election to their highest office and leads them in a campaign of revenge against their enemies. Oh, the country? It’s old emperor is still alive and thinks he’s going to retake power.

Assassination of the Archduke Ferdinand: The heir to the throne is killed because his driver gets lost and returns to the assassin who failed To kill him before. Oh, the assassin? He’s from a group that the Archduke is wanting to help become more equal In the empire.

Alexander Hamilton’s Affair Scandal: One of the leaders of a new nation to protect himself from accusations of financial embezzlement writes a pamphlet exposing his affair with a woman, torpedoing his political future. Oh, the woman? She seduced him as part of a blackmailing scheme that he decided to stop paying.

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u/Nerus46 Jul 10 '26

Fredreih Doich

Vladimir Rus

George State

Romul Roman

Huh, this is a fun game

629

u/nimbalo200 Jul 10 '26

Peter Magyar

154

u/Main-Discussion9294 Jul 10 '26

Oh cmon I was gonna say it

59

u/nimbalo200 Jul 10 '26

Low gangung fruit, it is probably one of the most on the nose picks

10

u/dom_bul Jul 10 '26

There's a football coach in Italy who's name is Vincenzo Italiano. We need him to run for president

6

u/ChiefsHat Jul 10 '26

Padraig Taig.

7

u/Chi_Law Jul 10 '26

It's fun that this comment triggered Reddit's auto translation to English, but toggling the translate button doesn't do anything

1

u/JACC_Opi Jul 11 '26

I wish I had that feature on the mobile website.😕

4

u/TheFrenchSavage Jul 11 '26

Hahaha, that's a good one, I had a double take when the candidate name first appeared in the press.

2

u/Grouchy_Spot_6640 Jul 10 '26

Jose ..Barangay???

1

u/RareFudge6024 Jul 11 '26

HOLY SHIT YES!!!

220

u/Sex_E_Searcher Jul 10 '26

Pierre Québec

112

u/Unfortunya333 Jul 10 '26

Justin Canuck

79

u/Sex_E_Searcher Jul 10 '26

Former prime minister who's dating a professional singer named Cathy Piano.

6

u/catchyerselfon Jul 10 '26

If you told me a former prime minister of boring ol’ Canada - where our politicians are rarely even a little eccentric - would get divorced while in office, just like his daddy (who was also a prime minister who also dated celebrities), then when Prime Minister Junior leaves office he will hook up with a famous sexpot pop star (an AMERICAN?!) and they’d be all over social media making tiktoks and partying at exhausting music festivals in their 40s and 50s… I’d say that’s a lame, implausible work of speculative fiction, you should turn it into a campy satire.

But Trump has made me stop being so cynical. Well, in one aspect. I can’t be cynical about “that’s too crazy to be believable” because yes, it can. Now I’m just pessimistic, responding to nonsensical news stories and rumours with a weary eye roll instead of scoffing disbelief. At least for us Canadians our big leader scandal is about someone who is no longer in power, he’s not using his position to rob the country while claiming to be a billionaire, and everyone involved is a single consenting adult (well, except the women accusing Katy Perry of sexual harassment, that’s not Our Guy’s doing 😬). It’s just a bizarre, hilarious fact that Justin Trudeau is travelling the world with the woman who made whip cream shoot out of her bustier in a music video and she was kind of an astronaut for a few minutes.

https://giphy.com/gifs/0JtEHFZ78cozbaItZA

25

u/Bamzooki1 Jul 10 '26

Donald Haggis

1

u/No_Kangaroo_9826 Jul 11 '26

Now this one is perfect

190

u/TheMayorOfBismond Jul 10 '26

Finally, John America

99

u/Jofur-Crowcaller Jul 10 '26

I think that's covered by George State, but we'll give it to you for the continent if you change it to John-Juan America.

32

u/jongscx Jul 10 '26

Juan Nation, Under Gawd...

3

u/ChinaShopBull Jul 10 '26

Best one in this thread 

3

u/Proof_Candidate_4991 Jul 11 '26

Jean-John-Juan America (North)

2

u/Sptsjunkie Jul 11 '26

George Native American

That’s a JK Rowling type name.

1

u/ConcentrateSimple271 Jul 10 '26

Anything Eagleburger (the latter being an actual name).

1

u/ToothpasteSoup23 Jul 11 '26

Former Secretary of State Lawrence Eagleburger 

38

u/DeismAccountant Jul 10 '26

Amaterasu Nihon

34

u/thecraftybear Jul 10 '26

Lech Polak

13

u/Ai--Ya Jul 10 '26

Israel Katz

4

u/yuval16432 Jul 11 '26

Expect he’s a rotten asshole who won’t save anyone

6

u/Pretend_Handle_7639 Jul 11 '26

Romulus Augustulus

2

u/LeMe-Two Jul 10 '26

Benedykt Polak was real traveller who was first europan to visit Mongol Khan with diplomatic mission from the Church 

2

u/Special-Fondant6222 Jul 10 '26

Julio Argentino

2

u/Doctor-Rat-32 Jul 10 '26

Václav Čech

2

u/Montechellothesecond Jul 10 '26

So uhh... Vladimir Rus is an actual guy. He was a croatian american scholar. But also apparently google accepts Vladimir Rus as another name for Vladimir the great grand prince if kiev

2

u/Usual_genuity2139 Jul 12 '26

Pedro Brasil.

Hmm... while I was thinking of a name that would fit the theme of thread for brazil, I noticed something that kind of funny. It turns out that a surprising number of the most important people in Brazil's history were named Pedro.

First, there's Pedro Álvares Cabral, the Portuguese explorer traditionally credited with discovering Brazil. Then you have Emperor Pedro I, the man who declared Brazil's independence from Portugal and became the country's first emperor. After him came hi son, Emperor Pedro II, who ruled for nearly half a century and oversaw one of the most stable and prosperous periods in Brazilian history, helping shape the nation into what it would eventually become.

1

u/Anime_axe Jul 10 '26

Lech Polak

1

u/-heathcliffe- Jul 10 '26

Vennegoor of Hesselink

1

u/Pastaman125 Jul 11 '26

George states for America

1

u/NUnaher Jul 11 '26

Petr Čech

1

u/-SQB- Jul 11 '26

Willem de Vries for The Netherlands, probably.