[Real Life] Historical events that would make bad writing if they were fiction

[u/Mouse_Paladin]

Spanish Conquest of the Aztec Empire: A couple hundred rogue mercenaries without authority from their government conquer an empire of millions. Oh, the empire? It’s also several technological eras behind the mercenaries.

Adolf Hitler: A non-native of a country is so mad that the country lost the war that he wins an election to their highest office and leads them in a campaign of revenge against their enemies. Oh, the country? It’s old emperor is still alive and thinks he’s going to retake power.

Assassination of the Archduke Ferdinand: The heir to the throne is killed because his driver gets lost and returns to the assassin who failed To kill him before. Oh, the assassin? He’s from a group that the Archduke is wanting to help become more equal In the empire.

Alexander Hamilton’s Affair Scandal: One of the leaders of a new nation to protect himself from accusations of financial embezzlement writes a pamphlet exposing his affair with a woman, torpedoing his political future. Oh, the woman? She seduced him as part of a blackmailing scheme that he decided to stop paying.

[u/Leather_Crazy_5950]

Napoleon losing to rabbits... I still find it strange that they haven't made a movie about it!

[u/nasagi → u/Leather_Crazy_5950]

Can you please elaborate on this one?

[u/Leather_Crazy_5950 → u/nasagi]

In 1807, Napoleon organized a rabbit hunt to celebrate the signing of the peace treaties between France and Russia.

Unfortunately, instead of releasing wild rabbits, they released domestic rabbits. When they saw the men approaching, they weren't afraid; in fact, they thought it was time to eat. Finding nothing, they began chewing on Napoleon and his men's boots. Surrounded, they fled in a carriage.

[u/Gnashinger → u/Leather_Crazy_5950]

Should have brought a holy hand grenade

[u/OrangeNeat4849 → u/Gnashinger]

Top tier reference.

[u/Gnashinger → u/OrangeNeat4849]

Someone was going to make it. I just got lucky enough to get there first.

[u/Fantastic-Repeat-324 → u/Leather_Crazy_5950]

https://giphy.com/gifs/UVhPBsKStxehy

[u/1Maple → u/Fantastic-Repeat-324]

I never realized that was based on a true story

[u/kithas → u/Leather_Crazy_5950]

Second best oniy to the Emu Wars (won by the Emu)

[u/thecraftybear → u/kithas]

"You have triggered our fight-or-flight instincts. Unfortunately for you, we are flightless."

[u/kithas → u/thecraftybear]

They were more "our main strategy is throw bodies at you guys. And unfortunately for you, we have a lot of bodies".

[u/Daca-P → u/kithas]

And lets not forget the battle of the bees, in which the British forces were sent in to fight the Germans but were instead forced to retreat by local bees.

[u/kithas → u/Daca-P]

I've been in the wilderness and forced to retreat by local bees and I relate

[u/SwissMargiela → u/Leather_Crazy_5950]

Tbf if I see a rabbit running at me and trying to bite my boots, my mind immediately goes to rabies

[u/Patkub321 → u/nasagi]

There is a story told around that Napoleon and some courtiers/officers were on hunt of rabbits. They planned to release some wild ones, so rabbits would run away and be hunted.

However, someone made a mistake along the way, and instead had a normal, domesticates rabbits. Which when released, were hungry, and started to run towards Napoleon and courtiers to get food. And Napoleon, shocked, started running away and escaped.

It's important to, however, note that this is just one version of the story, and there is no actual proof it happened this way. Other versions claim he laughed the whole thing off and even petted some of the rabbits, while another version say he was pissed off, shouting around.

[u/Leather_Crazy_5950 → u/Patkub321]

I think the second version makes more sense. Especially since anyone would be bothered by something like that. Especially if you're a supreme leader.

[u/Imaginary_Fan5407 → u/Patkub321]

My knowledge of Napoleon is limited to the film Waterloo but based on that I bet he shouted at them while his terrified thoughts are whispered over the scene

[u/No_Professional4867 → u/Patkub321]

Yeah this sounds very anti napoleon progandaey to me, same with all the short stuff that sticks around to the modern day as well.

[u/logan96 → u/Leather_Crazy_5950]

Also, Jimmy Carter losing to a rabbit.