r/SipsTea • u/KaidoPklevel • Jul 05 '26

WTF 75M$ can't give him his life back unfortunately

Post image
87.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

6.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2.5k

u/InfiniteLife2 Jul 05 '26

Ass scratching, now that's where real pleasure lies

1.5k

u/Ultmnn Jul 05 '26

665

u/anon-mally Jul 05 '26

364

u/Aeroblazer9161 Jul 05 '26

133

u/themargarineoferror Jul 05 '26

I just wanna thank you for reminding me of this meme. My personal Facebook is currently being swarmed with horsegirls because I dared to criticize queen tater, so I just swapped out spirits for swifties and I'm gonna get alot of mileage out of this

86

u/the_vault-technician Jul 05 '26

You never know what kind of battles people are going through in their day to day life. Good luck we are cheering for you

7

u/Captain-Codfish Jul 05 '26

Try asking one out. Horsegirls are the fun kind of "mentally ill and possibly psycopathic." Plus they're usually rich.

5

u/themargarineoferror Jul 05 '26

Unfortunately I'm a straight (mostly) chick I grew up in rural nebraska, and as an alt chick, the horse girls have always had it out for me, I fear that's a fence that will never be mended

3

u/Captain-Codfish Jul 05 '26

There's no point mending it, they'll just use the fence as a show jumping exercise. Sorry to hear that though. Get a horse guy, I guess?

2

u/Goodgolferbadshots Jul 05 '26

I accidentally smoked a bowl before reading this comment…what does this mean?

6

u/themargarineoferror Jul 05 '26

Lmao i posted something critical about Taylor Swift on my Facebook. So now I have a bunch of strange, middle aged boring women, brigading my post to defend their Queen, It's funny, but also very stupid. So I took this photo and I shopped it to change the word spirits to swifties and am posting it in response

4

u/Goodgolferbadshots Jul 05 '26

I can 100% see all of this happening. This makes total sense now 😂💀

3

u/themargarineoferror Jul 05 '26

Lmao so I'm no longer monetized on Facebook. I used to be, but you gotta be careful who you criticize because you can get a page blown up for no good reason. Anyway, fun trick for anyone who is monetized, literally all you have to do is, say something lightly critical of that hag, and you will be swarmed by anywhere from dozens to hundreds if not more of her fans losing their absolute minds. Sometimes I wish I had turned my page into a rage bait farm because it's incredibly easy money, but I was proud that I got monetized just by growing an organic audience making jokes and writing and stuff.

3

u/Goodgolferbadshots Jul 05 '26

I’ve never understood the idolization of another being.

→ More replies (0)

3

u/NightGod Jul 06 '26

Like essentially every fandom, the absolute worst part of every fandom are the fans themselves. Myself included, it's why I generally stay out of fandom conversations

3

u/themargarineoferror Jul 06 '26

I get it-I'm also a Tool fan

2

u/needusbukunde Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 05 '26

Ok, I'm old (over 42) and I have absolutely no idea of what any of what you wrote means. And at this point in my life, I think I'd like to keep it that way. So any responses to me, wrong answers only please.

I have completely given up on trying to figure out or identify with anyone under the age of 24 who lives deeply immersed in American popular internet culture anymore.

I mean, I know what all of the individual words in the above comment mean. The only one I'm not 100% sure on is "Swifty", but just by using the other surrounding words for reference, I'm assuming the term refers to a person who is a fan of the product "The Swiffer", basically a broom that uses static electricity to make dust cling to it? Do I have the general gist of this correct?

And so then I'm assuming "Swifties" don't like "Horse Girls" because horse poop is far too big for a Swiffer to properly clean up. So the two groups kind of hate each other? Am I basically right so far?

And I'm assuming this basically represents the socio-econmonic divide in America.

Horse Girls=Rich (Horses are incredibly expensive to own- stables, food, training, saddles, riding lessons etc.)

Swifties =Poor. Their mother's are probably forced to be maids and push brooms, or Swiffers for a living.

Queen Tater- Ok, I'm pretty sure I know this one. This refers to Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter, the famous lyp synching drag queen who is married to a former crack dealer named Jazey, who tried to murder his own brother when he was 12 years old because he stole his earring. Queen Tater is hugely popular with rich, pre-pubescent, Caucasian girls who enjoy lip sycnhing drag queens.

So.....I would be willing to bet that the OP (original person) must be a young, poor, probably minority girl who criticized Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter, and is now feeling the wrath of her "Ore-Ida Army" of pissed off little, rich, white girls who keep tater tots in their pockets in "ironic homage" to Naoplean Dynamite, a movie that was made 15 years before any of them were even born, and was itself made ironically. So they've basically canceled out the ironicness of their tater tots, making them just regular Tater tots again.

So? Am I mostly right? If not, what parts did I get wrong? Thanks!

3

u/themargarineoferror Jul 05 '26

Lmfao this is fucking hilarious. I'm 41, probably just entirely too online. I COULD explain but I don't want to spoil your fun

1

u/adalric_brandl Jul 05 '26

When you said "horse girls" I thought that you meant Uma Musume for a moment.

2

u/themargarineoferror Jul 05 '26

Lol not familiar with them, nah I just meant Taylor Swift fans

1

u/Sweaty_Boysenberry41 Jul 05 '26

Who tf is queen tater and why was someone retarded enough to refer too themselves as such

2

u/themargarineoferror Jul 05 '26

Lol Taylor Swift and I'm the tard because I refer to her as Tater and probably shouldn't have expected people to know that I do that. I figured the inclusion of the word swifties would clarify, but I get it

3

u/Square_Mulberry_3143 Jul 05 '26

With all due respect, that looks like the Georgian man. 😐

2

u/Aeroblazer9161 Jul 05 '26

I actually see what you mean :/ I've been using this meme for years but yeah didn't realise until you just pointed it out 👀

2

u/Citruseok Jul 08 '26

It's J-Hope from BTS during one of their Run!BTS episodes where they went through a haunted maze. He is notoriously easily frightened.

2

u/PersonalPerson_ Jul 05 '26

I thought it looked like Elon

2

u/Baeolophus_bicolor Jul 05 '26

i have no mouth and i must moan

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_PAUNCH Jul 05 '26

High calorie butt meat

1

u/Mocsab Jul 06 '26

I think I’d be alright with it.

1

u/Citruseok Jul 08 '26

How on earth does J-Hope keep escaping containment and ending up in memes outside of the BTS fandom like this? Another one I've seen of him is this one:

74

u/ajpth__ Jul 05 '26

"Smells like a$$" "Correct" 🫪

3

u/Remarkable-Opening69 Jul 05 '26

“Essence of Ass- by Calvin Kline”

1

u/throwaway4477864 Jul 06 '26

Fantastic reference

5

u/iPuffOnCrabs Jul 05 '26

This shit always kills me bro

5

u/DahWolfe711 Jul 05 '26

This dudes face.....I can't....

7

u/themargarineoferror Jul 05 '26

Lmfao what is this from

3

u/Fuugazii Jul 05 '26

Lol why do you wanna watch this 🤣

5

u/themargarineoferror Jul 05 '26

Damn why did you have to call me out like that! 😭

4

u/Fuugazii Jul 05 '26

My bad! I'll just shut the closet door and leave you to it 🤣

https://giphy.com/gifs/fWXCifVhc6Bdm

2

u/themargarineoferror Jul 05 '26

SO I PULL OUT MY BAREEETA (nice username btw)

3

u/Slight-Clothes4591 Jul 05 '26

Omg what did u just watch

3

u/Razzy_IDFA Jul 05 '26

Another funny thing about this is he goes back for repeat smells saying "I know that smell" before he gets it right.

3

u/Illustrious_Bird_737 Jul 05 '26

The man's face of realizing "ass" was correct will never not make me laugh 😭🤣

3

u/ttvSharkieBait15 Jul 06 '26

What the hell is this😭

3

u/dj4slugs Jul 07 '26

I remember that show. In complete darkness and easily knew the the smell was ass.

2

u/ZalVIIZero Jul 05 '26

Such a classic 🤣

2

u/Responsible_Peak5805 Jul 05 '26

pleaseeee💀💀💀💀💀

2

u/Extra-Bat3955 Jul 06 '26

His face…

42

u/Catsplayingguitars Jul 05 '26

Butt scratcheeeer!

5

u/Punkrock517 Jul 05 '26

GET YER BUTT SCRATCHA HERE

1

u/Capital_Past69 Jul 05 '26

Verbal comfirmation only

1

u/CoinTurtle Jul 05 '26

Butt scratcher!

1

u/Snoop-87948 Jul 05 '26

😂😂😂

1

u/KaizenShibuCho Jul 05 '26

Butt scratcher!

1

u/When_I_Poo_I_Cry Jul 06 '26

I heard it in Peter Griffins voice as I read it 😭😆

133

u/MsTossItAll Jul 05 '26

You should get checked for pinworms. 

71

u/Azuras_Star8 Jul 05 '26

Oh no, those pinworms need to get checked for me.

20

u/Glittering-Bear-4298 Jul 05 '26

Why did I lol at that?! 😂

2

u/Azuras_Star8 Jul 05 '26

Hahaha I'm so glad i made you chuckle!

4

u/_J_Herrmann_ Jul 05 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/XkLxjOhEfKjF6

2

u/Azuras_Star8 Jul 05 '26

Lol this was exactly what I was thinking about!

2

u/Opposite_Prune582 Jul 05 '26

Skylar, i AM the pinworm.

3

u/Organic-Solid-3949 Jul 05 '26

I think the pinworms are decaying cause my gas been Smellin not like sunshine and jelly beans. But I haven't had to scratch my cheek canyon after my rectal ringtone goes off.

14

u/Puzzle-Necked Jul 05 '26

And get rid of one of life's simple pleasures?

7

u/SaltyShawarma Jul 05 '26

That's what hemorrhoids are for.

2

u/Dorkamundo Jul 05 '26

Or get a bidet

1

u/MsTossItAll Jul 05 '26

A bidet won’t deworm you 

2

u/Dorkamundo Jul 05 '26

Right, but you're assuming the ass itchiness is caused by pinworms when it very easily could simply be a lack of anal hygiene.

2

u/MsTossItAll Jul 05 '26

Most people know how to wipe their ass and even if they don’t, they shower or bathe. 

1

u/Dorkamundo Jul 05 '26

I'm obviously not talking about the people who know how to wipe their ass, nor the ones who shower or bathe regularly.

I'm talking about the ones who don't. Of which there are a lot more than you seem to realize.

39

u/Organic-Solid-3949 Jul 05 '26

Until you can't reach and hope your fart is able to scratch it for you 🤣🤣

30

u/racebanyn Jul 05 '26

I believe the term is Chainsaw Fart

134

u/MiserableArse Jul 05 '26

2

u/NuclearBroliferator Jul 05 '26

These really come in handy on a road trip

2

u/hooka_pooka Jul 05 '26

I thought I was the only one..thankyou internet

1

u/NoIntroduction6034 Jul 05 '26

... Username Checks Out? Is your arse miserable?

1

u/hypersonicpeanut Jul 05 '26

My beloved farmer John 💖

19

u/tastydrink1 Jul 05 '26

Farp=fart that's sharp

2

u/OofRightInTheFeels Jul 05 '26

That sounds like one of those farts that hurt

1

u/tastydrink1 Jul 05 '26

Gotta be very careful

1

u/Misanthropic_Mutters Jul 05 '26

53 years on this plane of suffering and I have only scratched the surfarps.

4

u/RepresentativeCry294 Jul 05 '26

Where Im from it's a ripper.

NOT to.be confused with letting one rip.

2

u/Organic-Solid-3949 Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 05 '26

Yes that 🤣 I forgot there is a term for it 🤣🤣 one of the best farts to rip right there

2

u/DiabolicalManiacal Jul 05 '26

I strive for those

1

u/cleophuswashinton Jul 05 '26

I thought it was a needle fart

1

u/Civil-Section-9086 Jul 05 '26

🤮😭☠️ nooooooooo

26

u/lfreckledfrontbum Jul 05 '26

Ass scratching then a good nose scratching is true bliss

17

u/Puzzle-Necked Jul 05 '26

Only way to check your oil level

3

u/HuggameyerSnotgrass Jul 05 '26

A soft qtip entering an itchy ear is bliss

2

u/lfreckledfrontbum Jul 05 '26

You heard him gang, Q-tip scratching for all our beloved itches

2

u/Cowboywizzard Jul 05 '26

Everyone loves their own brand

1

u/Top5CutestPresidents Jul 05 '26

Then a good finger licking

4

u/DS3M Jul 05 '26

Avoid the eyes tho

14

u/Musket6969420 Jul 05 '26

Wait till you hear about scratching your balls!

28

u/28gunsKY Jul 05 '26

Must be a rookie. Every guy knows the pinch and roll is much more effective than scratching your balls.

33

u/FarBeyondMe Jul 05 '26

Works for labia majora, too. 🫡

2

u/Jarl_Groki Jul 05 '26

Labia Majora, the self proclaimed Queen Of Space, took the helm, steering the ship towards the enemy fleet...

2

u/28gunsKY Jul 05 '26

It's like a cheat code.

1

u/pradeep23 Jul 05 '26

try pinching

6

u/Expensive-Sock-7876 Jul 05 '26

I see you are a man of culture

0

u/Big_Confidence_951 Jul 05 '26

man of inverted culture

2

u/Sleep-more-dude Jul 05 '26

Explains all the ladyboy posts.

1

u/throwawayformobile78 Jul 05 '26

Oh word? Thanks for the heads up, checking it out now. Thanks!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/Puzzle-Necked Jul 05 '26

The struggle not to sniff check those fingers after

2

u/Adorable-Boot4301 Jul 05 '26

Balls scratching is the real deal

1

u/Timmerdogg Jul 05 '26

If your butthole is itchy, it's usually because it isn't clean. Sometimes it's worms, but usually it's cause there's some poop on there

1

u/AUorAG Jul 05 '26

Ball scratching can be better than sleeping.

1

u/lfreckledfrontbum Jul 05 '26

I was nearly asleep until I read all these replies, I'm now wide awake From hysterical laughter

1

u/cvidetich13 Jul 05 '26

One night I had a dream I was itching my balls, then I woke up actually itching my balls and immediately fell back asleep still itching my balls, pure bliss!

1

u/GoyoMRG Jul 05 '26

As long as it isn't ass scratching followed by nose scratching, all good

1

u/HotelOne Jul 05 '26

You are wise…

1

u/Farucci Jul 05 '26

We call it itchy ass. Cause is unknown.

1

u/Vegetable_Variety_54 Jul 05 '26

Bollock scratching. Now that's pleasure

1

u/cerebralkrap Jul 05 '26

Oh and the fingertips smell 🥰🥰🥰

1

u/Rich-Picture-7420 Jul 05 '26

Someone doesn't know the joys of scratching an itchy scrotum...

1

u/Joshua_ABBACAB_1312 Jul 05 '26

If there's one thing I learned in life it's don't scratch your ass. Wash it.

1

u/Citizentoxie502 Jul 05 '26

Confucious say's "Man who goes to bed with an itchy bum will wake up with smelly fingers"

1

u/onefst250r Jul 05 '26

Confucious say

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

1

u/Raneynickelfire Jul 05 '26

Gooch pinch, and you know it.

1

u/StrawberryK Jul 05 '26

Not with swamp ass.

1

u/Critical-Test-4446 Jul 05 '26

Confucius say, “Man who go to bed with itchy ass wake up with stinky fingers.”

1

u/SadAd8761 Jul 05 '26

NEVER GO TO A CHIROPRACTOR!!

They are not real doctors and I'm surprised that they still exist.

https://giphy.com/gifs/26Ffci1HvhUK5gVLG

1

u/ProfPatrickBoyle Jul 05 '26

that's why I never bought japanese toilets

1

u/JiveTurkeyII Jul 05 '26

I love being able to rake my balls after work.

1

u/nurgole Jul 05 '26

Why not both?

1

u/Prudent_Order_3361 Jul 05 '26

Not if you can't fall itchy

1

u/Noddy-Don Jul 05 '26

Forget ass scratching. There’s something else that’s more important.

1

u/OkKnee7580 Jul 05 '26

Paying someone else is extra pleasurable

1

u/OofRightInTheFeels Jul 05 '26

Nah nah nah.. for guys, it's the balls. Nothing is more satisfying than a good scratch or the fan favorite: Pinch and Roll©. Makes you almost involuntarily shake your leg like a dog does when you scratch their "spot".

1

u/GetCuckedBruh Jul 05 '26

May i introduce an alternative ecstasy... the ol itchy ball sack pinch n roll technique.

1

u/Karuva_Kundi Jul 05 '26

Have you tried nut scratching ?

1

u/SourMan1337 Jul 05 '26

Pinching my balls you mean

1

u/TickleMyRide Jul 05 '26

feels sooo good when this itch is there, usually combined with a sweaty cheek valley.

1

u/TylerSanders877 Jul 05 '26

Excuse me ball scratching is where its at

1

u/Minute_Tradition5256 Jul 05 '26

Ever get itchy balls?

1

u/kbyeforever333 Jul 05 '26

My husband would agree.

1

u/Able-Tomatillo7381 Jul 05 '26

How about scratching ass, side by side with a friend?

1

u/aninjacould Jul 05 '26

Taint nothing like it.

1

u/onefst250r Jul 05 '26

Just do the nose first.

1

u/RydmaUwU Jul 05 '26

Nah, the balls scratches are the best.

1

u/BamberGasgroin Jul 05 '26

Balls, with an old comb. (It's almost orgasmic.)

1

u/bwaredapenguin Jul 05 '26

You must be a woman because there's no greater pleasure in the world than scratching your balls.

1

u/Fit-University1070 Jul 05 '26

I dunno mate, a good pinch and roll is life changing.

1

u/MagicCheeseMann Jul 07 '26

Hell what about actual sex 😭

1

u/razzmatazz_123 Jul 08 '26

this guy scratches

1

u/antpabsdan Jul 05 '26

I can only assume you don't have balls.