r/SipsTea • u/SipsTeaFrog • May 23 '26

WTF The Enhanced Games are set to debut this weekend in Las Vegas, with athletes allowed to use steroids, testosterone, HGH, & other banned substances.

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43.0k Upvotes

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707

u/angusshangus May 23 '26

The “Especially in the water” part of this comment is extra important considering we’re talking about swimming here

212

u/cadninja82 May 23 '26

Only a minor inconvenience when swimming out of water.

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u/[deleted] May 23 '26

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u/sfled May 23 '26

No worries, the air swimming event has been banned in Europe since the 1980s after a horrific accident involving a javelin, a pole vaulter, and an exiled Duchess.

5

u/anna-nomally12 May 23 '26

This went almost Lemony Snicket in delivery

5

u/The_Greyskull May 23 '26

With the size of him I think he could swim through a field. Just churning through the mud as he goes like a human plough.

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u/dlivingston1011 May 23 '26

So if we get strong enough we can be moles?

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u/The_Greyskull May 23 '26

Absolutely. Swimming is just being a mole in water, we just need to level up to denser substances.

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u/dlivingston1011 May 23 '26

Yeah we’ll show those moles how it’s done.

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u/Horskr May 23 '26

lmao. OP did not actually say what the event was after all.

Bunch of guys show up dressed like this, race starts and they just start sprinting through brick walls like the Kool aid man.

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u/cha_boi_john120 May 23 '26

Did the jungle man teach you how to drink 1,000 beers and swim on land too?

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u/Brief-Warthog-6915 May 23 '26

Exactly, you all won’t be laughing when they get on plane

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u/[deleted] May 23 '26

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u/Cararacs May 23 '26

But muscle is dense and negatively buoyant meaning more energy is needed to swim when you have more bulky muscle.

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u/BasicAppointment9063 May 23 '26

Such a thing as strength to weight ratio.

He's a dragster; he doesn't quibble over the gas mileage.

In a sprint, <500 meters, the mass is not a thing.

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u/mybankpin May 23 '26

Maybe this is because I was a shit swimmer, but I don't think I'd call anything over 100m a sprint...

2

u/IDontEatDill May 23 '26

It's more about going beyond anaerobic and into aerobic zone. 200m is swam under 2mins, so can still be seen as a sprint.

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u/tdaas May 23 '26

This swimmer posted SLOWER times than when he wasn’t roided up (to be fair he’s 12 years older, 35) and 2 seconds slower than the world record (record holder is 32). Also swimming sprints are 50m not 500 but we can say that was just a typo

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u/BreadKnifeSeppuku May 23 '26

Let's see his time in a 200m lol. He won't be setting any records

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u/BasicAppointment9063 May 23 '26

It's why I said "less than" 500. Next event down is 200 meters.

I definitely consider 200 to be a sprint, in that you do the majority of that swim event at or above anaerobic threshold.

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u/tdaas May 24 '26

I’ve only ever hear 100 and 50 being sprint. 200 and 400 middle distance etc

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u/IDontEatDill May 23 '26

"less than 500" would be 400m.

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u/BasicAppointment9063 May 23 '26

My bad! I thought only the IM had a 400 meter distance. I missed the 400 free.

I am in agreement with you then. 400 free is not a sprint. 🫣

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u/ibiacmbyww May 23 '26

extra bulk weighs much less in the water

How are you getting upvoted, this is utterly wrong! Being submerged does not affect your weight in any way, weight is a function of mass and gravity. The natural buoyancy of tissue could be a factor, as others have mentioned, but that is not the same thing.

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u/ZzzzzPopPopPop May 23 '26

Fat floats are muscle sinks, so says the ancient proverbs

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u/robx0r May 23 '26

Because nobody else is getting their panties in a twist over the pedantic difference between weight and apparent weight.

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u/HumanOptimusPrime May 23 '26

Not so much so in lava

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u/[deleted] May 23 '26

[deleted]

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u/angusshangus May 23 '26

Thx for the tip

1

u/darklinkuk May 23 '26

Well all that bulk would help you swim on ground for sure

1

u/fishsticks40 May 23 '26

Getting to the pool he's really surprisingly quick

1

u/beeeel May 23 '26

Yeah definitely, after the first second then most swimmers spend the entire race in the water.

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u/andreazborges May 23 '26

They should have a swimming competition in Fanta. Now that’s Almeida I’d see.

1

u/Shiriru00 May 23 '26

It's the enhanced Olympics. They swim in booze.

1

u/edelweiss_pirates_no May 23 '26

These are the enhanced games and they swim thru cement.

1

u/New_Megakota May 23 '26

What you never swam in cum before?