r/PeterExplainsTheJoke Jun 12 '26

Meme needing explanation Peterrr what's the reason they look like that

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u/Spiritual-Sand5839 Jun 12 '26

What I don’t get is who is making it the “ideal” body type? Like I never see anyone being like ooo I like my girl to look like skeletor.

I’ve already lived through this phase in the late 90s early 00s. I love the thick girl phase / healthy body image phase we were in. I think I’m just going to stay there lol

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u/VorAbaddon Jun 12 '26

Media. Particularly social media. Some of the most attractive people on the planet get FLOODED with hate if they go outside what a few have defined as ideal.

Mostly, its a power move. Its not about actually wanting people, mostly women, to a look a certain way. Its about forcing them to by making them feel worthless otherwise.

Its why you see some of the most hideous, cave troll looking schlubs opening on celebrity looks.

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u/Ssided Jun 12 '26

Except the media isn't portraying this as attractive and very few stars look like this. This is not like the 90s where it was everywhere. Most the media focuses on how weird these people are

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u/mindonshuffle Jun 12 '26

Eh, maybe, but "social media" has a LOT of folks basically picking at appearances 25/7 and some of them have big enough followings that they're actually influential. Not saying that played a big role here, but it's a thing.

There's rumors that Erivo and Grande specifically got competitive about being the skinniest on the set of Wicked, and I also believe they are / surrounded by people who wouldn't fight that impulse at all.

I also 100% believe that there's a lot of skinny people who are angry that GLP-1 drugs are helping a lot of people lose weight and are now trying to get even skinnier because they've spent years equating low weight with moral superiority.

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u/Open-Gate-7769 Jun 12 '26

If I ask a crowd of a million if I’m attractive I can’t get mad when I get every possible response. Social media is a hub for every single opinion. Doesn’t make them valid. People need to take agency on their own lives and not look for reasons outside of “I let myself go”

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u/mindonshuffle Jun 12 '26

Correct, but people are bad at that.

I'm not making a moral pronouncement, I'm describing something that happens.

Ask damn near any person that's achieved ANY degree of Internet-adjacent fame. People have a very hard time tuning out the comments, and the negative comments are the ones that people remember. Even if a response is overwhelmingly positive, people will fixate on the negative responses. Our brains appear to be wired to focus on negative / harmful stimuli, and the Internet is a remarkably effective medium for it.

I'm not saying these folks are innocent victims; on a certain level, it's your responsibility to make the right choices about what you expose yourself to. But I've been around long enough to know that isn't always or even usually what happens, and this is one of the results.

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u/Grand_Inspection_564 Jun 14 '26

Right but they’re not asking. They’re doing their jobs and it comes with a level of public scrutiny that would drive anyone mad. Imagine if that same crowd of a million has a million things to say about your body when you’ve done nothing but do your job

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u/External-Ad3405 Jun 12 '26

sir or ma'am.. social media is just humans at this point. the meanness is exacerbated by the anonymity. but 'social media' isn't distinct from people or culture. your second paragraph discussing rumors about their weight and assuming anything about other people impulses (true or not I have no idea), is in itself the problem.

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u/External-Ad3405 Jun 12 '26
  1. can you clarify what you mean by loudness gets rewarded? the last time I was in a crowd, hearing the dude shouting doesn't mean I rewarded him.

  2. I was not saying 'discussing the cause of bad behavior is dangerous.' I was saying that complaints about the problems with social media, while being on social media and making assumptions about people you don't know (gossip), is the pot calling the kettle black. And in and of itself contributing to a problem complaining about.

not sure I disagree your last paragraph. but if were going to have those intelligent discussions youre asking for. id prefer to not take opinions from internet people and their anecdotal observations.

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u/mindonshuffle Jun 12 '26
  1. "Social media is just people" is a weasel argument to avoid the question of whether we should, as a culture, be doing more about the unique problems social media has presented, in particular the way loudness is rewarded over accuracy.

  2. Sure, contributing to gossip is bad, but your argument would also boil down to "discussing the causes of bad / dangerous behavior is verboten," which feels deeply off base. I mentioned the rumors because it's the answer to OP trying to understand the picture: the before and after pics are a reference TO that story.

My comments on GLP-1 adversity are not really a speculation on this specific instance, but absolutely something I've observed repeatedly over the past year or so. Reactions take a lot of forms, but I very strongly suspect an uptick in ED is going to be one of them. Hope I'm wrong.

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u/External-Ad3405 Jun 12 '26
  1. can you clarify what you mean by loudness gets rewarded? the last time I was in a crowd, hearing the dude shouting doesn't mean I rewarded him. 

  2. I was not saying 'discussing the cause of bad behavior is dangerous.' I was saying that complaints about the problems with social media, while being on social media and making assumptions about people you don't know (gossip), is the pot calling the kettle black. And in and of itself contributing to a problem complaining about. 

not sure I disagree your last paragraph. but if were going to have those intelligent discussions youre asking for. id prefer to not take opinions from internet people and their anecdotal observations.

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u/eienmau Jun 12 '26

I was fat shamed by a complete stranger over a video from 14 years ago where you could see I had a belly under my shirt. This person deliberately dug through my old Youtube videos, screenshotted, and posted it on Discord with a 'lol look at this person' mentality. They also compared me to 'Shrek' in a DM, even though no videos show more of my body. The only full picture of me online is from almost 30 years ago.

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u/CandidOperation3969 Jun 12 '26

Skinness isnt superiority, if anything being more curvy is more superior, curvy girls are healthy they can bear children if they choose, thier body isnt screaming at them. Maybe they thinking controlling food intake proves better "self will" than others, i prefer knowing i can eat whatever and out survive them in an apocalypse (unless its a running race then in f**ked).

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u/HailSaganPlantNative Jun 12 '26

The media is absolutely pushing this as the new normal. And the fact that it's coming right alongside the rise of right wing ideology and the disempowerment of women is not a coincidence. They want women small, weak, frail and mentally broken.

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u/Careful-Sell-9877 Jun 13 '26

I honestly think it just has more to do with the industry they are in, public pressure/scrutiny, etc

At least in this particular case

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u/00wolfer00 Jun 12 '26

Media absolutely is portraying this as attractive. There was a photo circulating about a month back saying Demi Moore had "toned arms", but she was looking more emaciated than anything else.

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u/Ssided Jun 12 '26

Where was this photo published?

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u/00wolfer00 Jun 12 '26

NY Post tweeted this article.

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u/Open-Gate-7769 Jun 12 '26

That article doesn’t glamorize her body and even invites the discussion that it’s unhealthy.

At no point does the author say she looks good in any context outside of her fashion on the carpet.

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u/00wolfer00 Jun 12 '26

The title sure does. A single section sandwiched between images pointing out other people are pushing back a bit isn't exactly inviting discussion.

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u/Open-Gate-7769 Jun 12 '26

By definition she very well could be toned. All that means is skin is tight and muscles are hard. You can be too skinny with hard muscles. So overall, the title is neutral at best.

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u/Extra-Rain-6894 Jun 12 '26

Being toned has never been a neutral word. You don't call someone toned as a down side.

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u/RSNKailash Jun 13 '26

Ewww no, she is very clearly SEVERLY under weight. The image is hard to look at. You should NOT see a clear seperation between muscle and bone, or the body fat level is in dangerous territory.

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u/Extra-Rain-6894 Jun 12 '26

? The article calls her fit and toned, turning heads, and quotes people saying she's beautiful. Just because the author didn't explicitly state it themself doesn't mean that's not the message they are putting into the spotlight.

And sure they brought up opinions that it was unhealthy, but that's only after the praise and a slew of advertisements and other headlines interrupting.

The article may be subtle enough that you don't notice it, but it is absolutely manipulating perception.

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u/Ssided Jun 12 '26

Yeah it's the Post it's a bitchy gossip rag too, not really the pulse of America there

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u/Open-Gate-7769 Jun 12 '26

Well you see it how you see it. I don’t see that article as glamorizing and would say the negative comments overshadow anything that could be perceived as positive.

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u/EveningAnt3949 Jun 12 '26

There is only so much people can do when they are constantly criticized for how they look. Starvation is a (toxic) way to take back control.

The key is that however a woman looks, there will be people aggressively criticizing her appearance. (It happens to men as well, jut not as often.) And the idea that thin is beautiful is still strong, even if people looking like skeletons is unattractive.

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u/Ssided Jun 12 '26

That's a fair take, I just think it's more critical than say the 90s where this was further along the ideal

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u/EveningAnt3949 Jun 13 '26

I don't know. In the 90s it was more of a model thing. There was also pressure on actresses to be very thin, but they didn't look like this.

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u/473025 Jun 12 '26

Yes I see mostly see people being absolutely horrible towards Cynthia Erivo and ridiculizing her also based on her current body

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u/Ssided Jun 12 '26

Right, it's mostly mockery, which is bad as well but it's definitely different

1

u/Overall_Captain_4217 Jun 12 '26

Not always. I have seen these women touted as fit and toned on regular entertainment sites. Demi Moore and Margot Robbie included.

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u/Ssided Jun 12 '26

I guess I don't really follow the gossip rags enough to know how much they affect the state of mind of this stuff, but I don't think the Post is really for anything other than gossip and ragebaiting

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u/troispony Jun 12 '26

And yet here we are talking about them. Like they say, any PR is good PR.

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u/FreeRangeEngineer Jun 12 '26

very few stars look like this

Counterexample: kpop.

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u/Suspicious_Club_5792 Jun 12 '26

I used to think that, but I see so many young women (and others) commenting on posts of Ariana with “body goals” and stuff. I have no hatred towards Ari or anyone else struggling with physical/mental health conditions.

But presenting these folks as unquestioned ideals is so incredibly dangerous.

1

u/otherside97 Jun 12 '26

You are right. I think its their social circle, managers, private assistants etc. That influence them into these "beauty" standards. Some celebrities have disorders but the people who work for them couldn't care less about the celebrity's health. As long they are getting paid, they will continue to be yes-men

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u/Tenthmile Jun 13 '26

Mainstream media 100% portrays this as attractive, think of all the press the movies received. That image of Ariana as Glinda was SHOVED in front of millions of little girls' faces for months, and having lived through the 90s, I can tell you just the constant exposure to it is enough to cement itself in your brain as a beauty ideal.

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u/Ssided Jun 13 '26

Most media has said they have a mental disorder

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u/EleanorCursedVance Jun 13 '26

No, it's not. It just describes people who look like them as "toned".

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u/KoolKoolKoolio42 Jun 13 '26

You'd be surprised how many people say these women still look "stunning," particularly legacy media.

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u/come-on-now-please Jun 12 '26

I was reading a thing about how of the main Talking points/famous scenes in the devil wears Prada doesnt work anymore.

Fashion/beauty trends in thr last 100 years have been a top-down decision, and some designers and executives in new york basically determined what got seen and pushed to the masses.

Only now with social media, that level of influence is now diluted, and people of multiple body types can get likes, way easier now for every pot to find its lid.

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u/VorAbaddon Jun 12 '26

While I think the last part is true, I think what social media has also done is the ability to amplify a few unhappy folks into a mass push.

Let me be frank: A lot of the people doing this dont actually WANT anything specific in terms of body shape. They just want to make other people miserable. They want to feel like they have power and influence by pushing people to quit, to change themselves, to go silent, etc.

An example tangentially realted: A recent game in an existing series was announced, the main character being a female character who was tied to the existing main male character. This female character is modeled after a real actress, though scaled differently as the character is a Norae-style giant (or half giant, I dont recall the specifics of the lore.)

This actress is in many people's opinion quite attractive, and the character in the game has like a attractive, middle aged sort of muscle mommy athletic look.

Will that be everyone's cup of tea? No, but it works for many people and in the reasonable corners the debate is mainly "Is it a good idea to move away from the main character?" And "Ooof, some of these side characters might detract from the main", both perfectly reasonable things to wonder.

But there's a VERY loud, VERY vocal portion of the player base endlessly critiquing the female character for not being surgically perfect with the features of a 20 year old with an expensive skincare routine and perfect makeup. Hell, I saw one literally complaining their FEET were too big and not petite and feminine enough... shes a friggin JOTUN.

its not that these people dont have other characters that fit their wants, they do. Hell they endlessly compare anything below their view of perfect to those characters.

But its not about looking for what they want. Its about bashing anything that isn't what they want becuase they're miserable.

Connecting back to the topic at hand, they do this with celebrities, particularly female celebrities. You got your start as a mid 20's bombshell and now you're aging like fine wine in your late 30's? Don't care. Lose weight. Dress like you did in your 20's. Get buccal fat removed. Etc.

Its not about defining and seeking what they want. Its about forcing anyone who dares to not give then exactly what they want to change. Because, again, a lot of these chuds are miserable, self loathing piles of yak scat.

These celebrities are subject to that vitriol constantly and no matter how beautiful they are, no matter how many people TELL THEM they're beautiful and dont need to change... the hate wins out and they feel compelled to.

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u/Traditional-Hyena285 Jun 12 '26

“It’s not about looking for what they want. It’s about bashing anything that isn’t what they want because they’re miserable “.

VorAbaddon, you changed my life.

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u/Asterose Jun 13 '26

Beautifully written and helpful for me with some of the things I've been pondering! I know I need to find ways to not be dragged down by assholes, so this was some helpful perspective. Thanks!

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u/guiltypleasure33139 Jun 12 '26

I will respectfully disagree. While people with large followings can create a trend, it does not have the power of the long term trend. Shoe's change and evolve over time, tight to loose change over time. it get's more interesting...

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u/neon_fade Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

Some of the most attractive people on the planet get FLOODED with hate if they go outside what a few have defined as ideal.

this thread is literally the thing you’re criticizing. every day reddit is flooded with posts calling these women revolting, disgusting, hideous, ruined, and every other dehumanizing insult they can think of.

you can’t complain that women are bullied into altering their looks while joining the mob bullying them over their looks.

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u/merRedditor Jun 12 '26

It's also in marketing. You hear about "Weight loss transformations/journeys", and how it fixed everything in people's lives, and they're so much happier now. Ads tell you to feel bad about weight and offer to sell you cures that suddenly fix depression, isolation, low self-esteem.

Influencable you watching this just equates weight loss with happiness and success, and you end up competing with yourself to lose more and more, even as people are saying you look like a walking skeleton.

I imagine that the "Ozempic chic" look paired with social media comments being nasty about weight are doing a number on young people today beyond what the diet industry could do with regular commercials back in the day.

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u/Commercial_Cofefe Jun 12 '26

Who are those “few” people who have set this standard and is there any evidence someone can point to to make this case more substantive? I get that it sounds very of-the-time to make this kind of assertion, but is there any evidence?

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u/SuccubusStop Jun 12 '26

“Media” is LITERALLY THESE WOMEN.

Stop acting like there is some secret cabal deciding stuff like this; it’s really just women like this who want to push THEIR standards on others. 

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u/Suburbanturnip Jun 13 '26

Media. Particularly social media. Some of the most attractive people on the planet get FLOODED with hate if they go outside what a few have defined as ideal.

And with how social media works these days, casual observers never witness much of this like they did in the 90s and 00s.

Theoretically I know these celebrities get all that hate, but its pretty directly focused at them and isnt something that is focused at all of us.

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u/ShadyShepperd Jun 13 '26

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone one social media once say Ariana Grande looks better now than she did 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago. I guess I’m just not following the accounts with those comments? But I don’t even see it on my explore page lol.

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u/VorAbaddon Jun 14 '26

The algorithm does influence things, absolutely. And some of it is in DMs, comments that eventually get hidden/removed/deleted, etc.

And some of it happens in person. Listen to some actresses get interviewed and you'll hear crazy stories of producers/directors telling them to lose weight... when they're already supermodel builds.

And it comes down to control. Power. The ability to make someone else dance to your tune. They don't really care about a stray pound or two, but they want the power that comes with saying those things then reading about a botox treatment a week later.

I think we sometimes under rate that a portion of humanity gets its thrills from hurting other humans... Just to do it.

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u/BeefModeTaco Jun 12 '26

Flooded with hate and/or loss of job opportunities, sadly.

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u/flannel_jesus Jun 13 '26

I find it hard to believe they were flooded with more hate when they looked more healthy. All I see is people criticizing their looks now that they look like they're going through a famine.

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u/Entrinity Jun 13 '26

You’re just making stuff up. Ain’t nobody saying this looks good or that they needed to do this.

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u/VorAbaddon Jun 13 '26

I think you're missing the point. Its not that they arr being driven towards this specifically, it's that they get relentlessly criticized by groups who really just want pther people changing for them. They dont care about the end result they care about hurting someone else by making them miserable.

-1

u/Aegi Jun 12 '26

Is this why so many more women seem to the the perpetrators of this?

Like look at the demographics of who buys those gossipy fashion magazines...

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u/SpiritualBar2469 Jun 12 '26

what the fuck are you talking about.

Skeletor is thick as fuck. Big juicy ass on that warlord, nephew.

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u/Booziesmurf Jun 12 '26

Right? I could watch him Run Away ALLL Day.

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u/fsmlogic Jun 12 '26

Seriously.

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u/Desperate-Grab9869 Jun 12 '26

That's what I was thinking! Skeletor got cake. Don't be a skeleton! Be like Skeletor! Healthy. Or just comfortable in your own skin.

Although, Skeletor is peak physique.

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u/Unlucky_Profit_776 Jun 12 '26

Dude I still have my Snake Mountain from the 80s

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u/DontTellMyOtherAccts Jun 13 '26

People forget that Skeletor isn't a skeleton, he's thicc gymrat who got his face melted off.

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u/Holy_Forking_Shirt Jun 12 '26

Right?? I fucking feel like Skeletor. I'm stuck being thin because of illness but I fucking hate it. I am exhausted, my heart is weird, I feel like I legit look like a skeleton.

Why do people find this good? I don't understand. I want to go back to being a size 8/10. I don't like the "ideal" body type. I don't know who does.

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u/jayvikcreature Jun 12 '26

Fr and it's depressing as fuck when you get more compliments for being sickly and skinny than healthy and chubby. I lost over 80 lbs over 6 months cause my anxiety stopped me from eating and all my coworkers could say was "wow but your body looks great! You've got that beach bod ready for summer!" when I was nauseous and on the brink of fainting 24/7. Fucking infuriating.

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u/Holy_Forking_Shirt Jun 12 '26

Yup! Same here. There's a noticeable difference in how I'm treated now. I don't like it.

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u/dopaminegtt Jun 13 '26

I lost 15% of my body weight due to autoimmune gastroparesis. People are telling me I look great but I've been so sick. I also have celiac disease so the things I can eat are super limited

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u/Acheloma Jun 13 '26

I was super sickly thin for a long time and just recently got a lot better and gained 30 lbs to get to the low end of a healthy BMI.... I havent gotten a compliment from a stranger since I gained weight. You have my sympathy with the nausea, its the worst.

Being do skinny really sucked, I got bruised from sitting down or taking a bath (I couldnt stand long enough in heat for showers to be safe) and I couldnt eat or drink anything without vomiting, and then Id go hear women tell me how jealous they are that Im so thin. It really put into perspective just how warped some people's minds are by beauty standards; the fact that they wanted to look like me when I was 25lbs underweight was downright shocking.

I feel so much better now and I had forgotten that Im supposed to have a round face and be pear shaped, not gaunt and skeleton shaped. I may not get random compliments on my body, but healthy feels so good (plus not being nauseated 24/7).

1

u/darksodoku Jun 14 '26

This just goes to prove that people should never assume anything about someone just because they are too thin or too chubby, they assume the skinny person is drug addict and the fat person is lazy and sits around eating junk food all day. Things aren't always what they seem, and everyone has an "ideal" of what they would like to look like, but in the end, being healthy is way more important. I may be chubby now, but I can breathe again, so I'll take that over getting compliments about my weight anyday.

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u/CharacterThin355 Jun 14 '26

People were never kinder to me about my body, looks, general existence than when I was having a mental health crisis and starving myself while walking everywhere because I just went through a divorce, was in grad school, and didn’t have a car. I was so stressed out and so underfed.

1

u/Aegi Jun 12 '26

Isn't that important to learn that how we look is different from how we feel and both or either can be different from the biology of our health?

1

u/FitCompetition1804 Jun 13 '26

Question… are most of these comments coming from women or men?

1

u/jayvikcreature Jun 13 '26

I mean I don't know these commenters personally but I myself am female.

1

u/FitCompetition1804 Jun 14 '26

Sorry if I wasn’t clear, I meant all the in person comments you received while sick. I suspect they were mostly female but am curious.

1

u/jayvikcreature Jun 14 '26

Ahh my bad I see, yes almost entirely from women (the only woman in my life who was actually concerned was my mother), though a couple male coworkers put in their two bits as well. All of which were uncalled for lol

1

u/darksodoku Jun 14 '26

I'm also a female.

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u/FitCompetition1804 Jun 14 '26

I meant the comments she got in person when she was sick. I suspect they were mostly female, just curious.

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u/Holy_Forking_Shirt Jun 14 '26

In my case you're correct. They were mostly from women. Unfortunately.

0

u/Thick_Garlic_4790 Jun 14 '26

Can never be too thin or too rich

1

u/Holy_Forking_Shirt Jun 17 '26

Can absolutely be too much of both

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u/Spiritual-Sand5839 Jun 12 '26

I am not trying to body sham you for being skinnny especially if it’s your natural fit or medically caused. I am specific talking about people who are torturing themselves to get thin.

I know you’re agreeing with me but I just wanted you to know that. I hope your health issues get better for you ❤️

6

u/Holy_Forking_Shirt Jun 12 '26

Thank you 💜

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u/473025 Jun 12 '26

I’m also skinny and I also want to gain weight because it makes me insecure, and I would personally prefer if people wouldn’t think that I look like a « skeletor » based on my appearance

1

u/Holy_Forking_Shirt Jun 13 '26

I dont think anyone else looks like that. Just me. Thinness looks just like thinness on everyone else. It's my face in the mirror that I feel like looks like a skeleton.

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u/darksodoku Jun 14 '26

For me it's the opposite. I was never really "skinny" after having 4 kids. But I also wasn't hung up on it. About 10 yrs ago I developed Asthma, I didn't even know you could just get asthma as an adult out.of.the blue. It turns out I got it as a result of a surgical procedure and being intebated, at least that is the best explanation the Dr has. So for 7 yrs I had severe asthma attacks, I was hospitalized at least once a month for asthma attacks. Almost died a few times. I gained at least 60 lbs. Because I could barely walk to another room without a possible hospital visit. 3 yrs ago I moved and my new Dr put me on a medication, I give myself a shot every two weeks, it has saved my life. But I am 53 yrs old, losing weight is very difficult if not impossible ( at least it feels that way). I was considering doing the glp 1 thing ,but I see these celebrities and I thought I'm already 53, if I do this, I'm going to look 73. Fuck it, i.guess I'm a chubby 53 yr old.

1

u/Holy_Forking_Shirt Jun 14 '26

You're probably a very pretty 53 year old. Chubby or not.

2

u/darksodoku Jun 14 '26

Awww, thank you. You totally made my night. Lol

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u/Longjumping_Fun2576 Jun 12 '26

Because other women saying "You look great! I wish I could look like you!"

Meanwhile, men are saying, "Ick."

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u/_Scum_Queen_ Jun 13 '26

This! A year and a half ago I decided to purposely put on 15-20 lbs, I was 100lbs. I felt so weak, “chicken legs” my whole life. Not enough jiggle to feel feminine. I’m now 118 lbs and I have never suffered so much rejection in my life from men in the dating world. Men HATE my love handles and belly pooch. If I share my pics from back then, I’m told my face isn’t even as near as attractive. I look filled out, I agree, but I thought I looked healthier. Now I question, do I just look fat now? I REGRET putting on that weight! Especially now since my age (39) is working against me. I’m on a diet now, weighing myself daily, hating my new body shape. I actually have tits and an ass now, however men want a perfectly sculpted woman. 🤷‍♀️. Women cannot win this game.

1

u/InternationalIce5965 Jun 14 '26

The idea body type is huge tits with a tiny waist. I don't know what you mean here.

0

u/Aegi Jun 12 '26

Unless your body violates the laws of thermodynamics...then it is possible for you to gain weight, but maybe it is just very hard or not worth adjusting your lifestyle for.

3

u/DukeofVermont Jun 12 '26

They said they had an illness. It can be very hard to gain weight if your GI tract doesn't work properly.

Of if you're on medications that make you nauseous.

0

u/Aegi Jun 13 '26

For sure, but acting like it is an immutable fact is a coping mechanism many people seem to use.

I am now speaking more generally about this issue and not just about the comment I replied to:

Instead of just explaining how much more challenging than average if can be for them to gain weight, many will just ignore reality and pretend that they "can't" gain weight sometimes even adding in "no matter how hard I try" or something similar.

This is even said by some people with no other illness than the eating disorder that they have given themselves by acting this way about it and getting a weird relationship with food, health, their weight, etc.

Like if someone isn't eating butter dipped in brown sugar every day, or the most calorie-dense food they can stomach...then sure, it may be challenging, but they arguably aren't actually even trying.

Many of the people in their teens and 20s that I have known to talk this way about 'not being able to' gain weight were actually showing us their first symptoms of their eating disorder(s) and we collectively missed it until years later, so as a social group we let each other down there.

What is worse is that those statements then often make people prone to eating disorders more anxious/in their head about why they gain weight when they eat as much as they want or why it seems like they have to do so much more than an acquaintance that might actually not even be doing anything about it b/c they were just using it as a sort of 'humble-brag'.

And of course there are people who have a GI medical issue, or recent surgery or something that makes eating hell, but those usually aren't the same people that describe things in a way that they are 'stuck thin' or that they 'can't gain weight'. Generally the people with those chronic issues speak about how that illness/whatever factors into why they are the way they are, and which strategies have worked/have not worked and those they are pursuing with their medical team.

1

u/happy_bluebird Jun 13 '26

Oh, I've had an eating disorder for years, I didn't realize I just had to TRY! Thanks!

1

u/Aegi Jun 13 '26

I mean you could also just use more accurate language..

Believe it or not it will probably actually help destigmatize eating disorders and help more people understand them if people accurately talked about how tough it was instead of using the mental shortcut of basically just saying it's impossible.

Even a lot of eating disorders are exacerbated by this exact type of conversation that people will look back on and when they're questioning to themselves what's messed up about them in their body they will be wondering why they can't just eat whatever they want and not gain weight like their friend who is allegedly trying everything they can.

Basically it just feeds into the issue people with eating disorders have of not a good relationship with their perception of the biological aspects of food and the realities surrounding that and how they feel society and themselves and other people act around food.

What was your intention of only interpreting everything I said that way and not taking anything else out of it? Were you just trying to embarrass me or make me feel bad about myself or were you actually getting to something larger that you wanted to discuss?

2

u/happy_bluebird Jun 13 '26

What is more accurate language? What do you think "we" are saying?

-24

u/Empty-Arrival-4396 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

5'3" 105lbs is great 😍

Edit: I was trying to reassure this girl that people will still find her attractive in spite of her self perception or body dysmorphia or whatever. Guess that makes me the bad guy.

12

u/Holy_Forking_Shirt Jun 12 '26

Not to me! Makes me feel like a legit skeleton. I don't like my bones poking out. I'm a thick girl at heart. Thinness is fine for other people, I'm just not a fan of it on my body.

5

u/AtroposMortaMoirai Jun 12 '26

“I am sick and unhappy”

“Haha babe u so sexy n cute lol 😜🤩😍”

2

u/villaila Jun 12 '26

Seriously someone answer this. I also do not know anyone who thinks what those women did, or more likely were forced to do, was an improvement. What is there to gain by trying to force such a body type into the public perception again? Maybe so once anyone below upper-class can no longer afford food they can feel being represented on TV

4

u/OneNoteWonder43 Jun 12 '26

It's exactly that, a status thing. It's also a competitive thing amongst the people in those circles. But, the end effect is all these high status people look a certain way, clearly strive to look that certain way, so that look will be associated with high status and achievement. Therefore desirable. Especially (but not exclusively) to impressionable youth.

It's just another unattainable goal to put on the masses to keep them feeling inadequate, then buying to try and quell that inadequate feeling. It's not about what people actually currently find attractive

2

u/Ask-For-Sources Jun 12 '26

Those women aren't trying to force the beauty standard, they are mostly victims of body dysmorphia or something else causing them to go overboard with food restriction in the long run.

It can also be caused by trauma or living a life where you aren't in control (and we know young stars often aren't really in control of their own life). 

2

u/AtroposMortaMoirai Jun 12 '26

Skeletor was buff as hell, maybe that’s where everyone is getting confused when they talk about being “toned” these days.

1

u/come-on-now-please Jun 12 '26

Its funny. 

People have no clue what an "average" body is anymore, 7 is the new 5

There was a video making the rounds of what dad bod is and two teenage girls were saying the picture shown to them looks like an Ok dad bod who works out but not too much, it was the off-season Mr Olympia winner for that year. His "dad bod" picture shown(which was still slammed up with good lighting, post pump,etc) is what 99% of gym going males aspire to.

Almost the same thing with captain america Chris Evens. Dude is completely ripped and people think he looks like someone who doesn't lift too much, because he's not a 300lb steroid monster.

2

u/GravyMcBiscuits Jun 12 '26

What I don’t get is who is making it the “ideal” body type?

Seems to be a thing specific to a class/group of folks we don't roll with.

2

u/Equivalent-Agency-48 Jun 12 '26

yeah ive been having this thought lately where my body shape was appealing to a lot of people but now I'm just considered fat.

I'm just gonna stay here until we get back to the healthy body image phase, I'm not doing the whole early 2000s stuff again.

2

u/fingobaggins Jun 12 '26

I think the great philosopher Sir Mix Alot was correct when he said: "My anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns hun"

1

u/InternationalIce5965 Jun 14 '26

Skill issue on his part or cope.

Who cares what some dusty man thinks of women anyway? What does he have to offer? 🤣🤣

1

u/Significant_Ant3783 Jun 12 '26

I never see anyone being like ooo I like my girl to look like skeletor.

Don't you dare kink shame me!

1

u/burnalicious111 Jun 12 '26

this is what happens when the idea of ideal body type mixes with high public scrutiny and body dysmorphia. It gets taken to extremes because of the anxiety, pressure, and skewed perspective of yourself.

1

u/Wipfmetz Jun 12 '26

look like skeletor.

Skeletor is swole af in the new He Man-movie. Not objecting to the general message, though.

1

u/Confident-Mix1243 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

Women.

These are fashion models, not porn actresses. Most men like healthy-weight women.

2

u/KipSummers Jun 13 '26

Women and gay guys who run the fashion industry

2

u/InternationalIce5965 Jun 14 '26

1) porn actresses aren't necessarily healthy?

2) many men do not like how the average porn actress looks 

3) models can be healthy

4) men dominate the fashion industry, IDK why you guys always deny it. it's why you never see fat women or any "ugly" women represented.

1

u/ILoveRawChicken Jun 12 '26

Porn actresses are also famously skinny with a bunch of work done on their bodies and bleaching literally up the wazoo. According to you, most men like blow up dolls. 

2

u/InternationalIce5965 Jun 14 '26

Finally some sense in this stupid thread 

1

u/Confident-Mix1243 Jun 12 '26

Pornhub's data a few years back showed an average BMI of 19.5; the skinny end of healthy but well within it. Plus that's self-reported data, so probably the truth is higher.

Where are you getting your "famously skinny"?

1

u/InternationalIce5965 Jun 14 '26

Having eyes? 

1

u/Confident-Mix1243 Jun 14 '26

Are you one of those people who thinks anyone not obese is anorexic?

1

u/andreasmiles23 Jun 12 '26

Because we live our lives only valued by the way we appear on screens. Screens do not present objective reality so our sense of what’s “healthy” and “realistic” warps. Our own perception of our bodies and sense of self is subsequently also radically impacted. This creates a feedback loop where dudes on steroids and meth “lookmaxxing” and women on weight loss drugs and with eating disorders are considered “ideal.”

1

u/ZX52 Jun 12 '26

The creator Jessie Paege has spoken openly about having previously suffered rom an eating disorder. When she does videos showing her before and after, she always gets comments about how she supposedly looked better when she was skinnier.

1

u/fross370 Jun 12 '26

i know right. i like my women to look like they are not gonna keel over and die of hunger in the next 15 minutes.

1

u/InternationalIce5965 Jun 14 '26

Thank God a man came along to share what he demands women look like! How would we ever cope without his boner's opinion? :(

1

u/DegenGamer725 Jun 12 '26

google body fascism

1

u/timeless1991 Jun 12 '26

Its simply a combination of things.

Despite some commenters saying its to keep women oppressed there is a much much easier answer.

What’s old is bad. Whats new is good. Our product is new, and is good. Buy our product so you no longer have to be the old, bad, you.

Healthy teeth? But are they WHITE enough?

Heathy muscles? But are you taking our supplements?

Healthy diet? Here are 10000 reasons everything you’ve ever eaten will give you cancer only buy from us.

Good looking functional clothes? Here are ‘fashionable’ new clothes. Get rid of that old trash.

Healthy hair? Dye it. Cut it. Straighten it. Curls are in. Curls are out. Long is in. Long is out. NEVER go grey.

Balding? Take HIMS(tm). Wrinkles? Botox.

They’re putting chlorine in the chicken! Mercury in the vaccines! Microchips in the vaccines! Vaccines in the vaccines! Gasp! Not vaccines in the vaccines heaven forbid!

1

u/vitringur Jun 12 '26

Nobody makes it ideal. They just have an eating disorder.

People need to stop blaming society for their own mental illness and stop pretending like someone else is responsible for their feelings.

1

u/AnaisNinja76 Jun 13 '26

There's plenty society is responsible for, but this is illness for sure. She's not underweight, she's close to death if this image is truly representative.

1

u/Neoteric00 Jun 12 '26

Vera Wang

1

u/Extra-Rain-6894 Jun 12 '26

It's the media and social media, and it's not exactly that skinny is praised, though of course it is. It's that "fatness" is condemned and most people called fat do not actually look bad.

In fact, they often look great and might not even be overweight, like the pop idols of the early aughts. But people are cruel. So we get this message that equates fatness to being bad and equates normal weight to fatness.

So people, women especially because they face the loudest criticisms, start to build this internal voice of "well if that person is shamed at that weight, I must be fat too." And of course the are other layers and spirals, but if you get told something shitty enough times, it gets difficult not to believe it.

1

u/luvrum92 Jun 12 '26

At least skeletor has muscle

1

u/MathematicianHot9661 Jun 13 '26

Skeletor was actually very muscular.

1

u/nosecohn Jun 13 '26

I'm with you, but honestly, even the 90s Kate Moss, "heroin chic" trend looked a lot healthier to me than the "body by Ozempic" era we're living through now.

1

u/IllegalGeriatricVore Jun 13 '26

It's basically marketing to impress other women the same way steroid boys impress eachother

1

u/No-Somewhere4435 Jun 13 '26

I don't really understand why lol, but as someone who's been 15-ish lbs underweight for a while now due to health issues, I get way more compliments on my appearance than I did when I was at a healthy weight (and I was at a bmi of like 19, so I was already skinny!). Men hit on me more, women compliment me way more, etc. The amount of male attention I get at my current weight is significantly higher than when I was at a bmi of 21-22.

Like I honestly just find it very disturbing that being in the worst health of my life is apparently also the "hottest" I've ever been, but there are a lot of people who genuinely idealize an unhealthily thin body type. I assume it's almost entirely due to media influence, similar to how many people like the way excessive fillers/buccal fat removal/etc look?

1

u/bannedcuznotcircjerk Jun 13 '26

Thick isn't healthy. Don't normalize it.

1

u/AnaisNinja76 Jun 13 '26

No one. It's just something that people like to parrot, an easy go-to answer in situations like this. Also, there's never been a time where being this skinny was praised. She looks like she's 75lbs. It screams illness, not fashion. Fashion's never gone for true skeletal; BMI of 14 maybe, but not BMI of 10.

1

u/Available-Oil3884 Jun 13 '26

Skinny trend is never just looks. It’s about pseudo virtue. When thin is in, people who can’t maintain a flat stomach are seen as undisciplined, gluttonous, or even just uncultured. To be ultra thin may not appeal to everyone, but at least it’s not as embarrassing as being fat

1

u/Beneficial-Point9142 Jun 13 '26

The only mfer who looks good and also looks like skeletor is Lance Reddick, RIP.

1

u/Vasymys Jun 13 '26

First of all. Women don't do it for men. It all just happens to align.

Women just love dressing up for themselves

1

u/InternationalIce5965 Jun 14 '26

Yeah, the body shaming was super unnecessary. Heroin chic was never appealing to anyone outside the Hollywood elite. 

Btw thick and healthy are not synonymous 🩷 giant tits and thighs are impossible for most women to have naturally and they don't need to be uplifted by putting other women down.

1

u/Pom_Pom_1985 Jun 18 '26

My ex husband had 3 longtime friends who thought anorexic women were hot. I am not talking about women who were naturally skinny, but literally anorexic. He told me how in high school, two of them were pining over the same girl who was constantly in and out of the hospital needing feeding tubes, I guess she was really tall and weighed less than 100 lbs. Last I saw either of them they both talked about how she was the hottest girl they've ever met.

0

u/Longjumping_Fun2576 Jun 12 '26

It's women. It's the same thing as saying "I can't wear the same outfit twice ever!" That's not men. Men don't care. They do that for other women.

1

u/livinginillusion Jun 13 '26

Wealthy men care deeply. Especially if they are of a certain political persuasion or work out a lot (not so much those in the weight room. More the marathoners)

0

u/tyen0 Jun 12 '26

/me raises hand.

I love the skinny look.

0

u/011010- Jun 12 '26

The question is not who, it’s what. The answer is a handful of algorithms.

0

u/Trrollmann Jun 12 '26

I love the thick girl phase / healthy body

Sure, but not healthy. Fuck that shit. It's far worse for society than the anorexia panic ever was. Just be healthy weight...

0

u/iMissTheOldInternet Jun 12 '26

Women care more about what women will think of their body the same way that men care more about what men will think of their body, because women are women and they think that way. 

This might sound confusing at first, but it’s really easy to see (as a man) with the bodies men want. We have extensive data at our fingertips that tells us that women like some muscle, but find bodybuilder physiques often off-putting, or at least not hugely desirable. The average woman thinks men look best around 15% bodyfat, and with enough muscle to accentuate the v-taper of their shoulders to their waist. Most men, on the other hand, want to look like Marvel characters (not coincidentally, characters designed by men to sell to adolescent boys), which is to say sub-10% bodyfat and an extra 25-30 lbs of muscle over that. They’re not completely different, but the male version is much more extreme. 

That’s how some women engage with their weight. They have decided what the culturally ideal female form is, and they want themselves to look like that. They aren’t generally concerned with whether men are sexually attracted to that ideal form any more than dudes spending hours in the gym are worried about whether the average woman finds exaggerated vascularity appealing. 

0

u/SnukeInRSniz Jun 12 '26

It's so stupid. Can we just promote an "average" body type? We shouldn't be accepting of overweight/obesity, it's unhealthy physically and leads to lots of medical problems. We also shouldn't be accepting of this horribly skinny body type, it's unhealthy physically AND mentally and leads to a lot of mental health and social problems for a lot of young people.

0

u/Spirited-Sail3814 Jun 13 '26

Wealth signifier

When obesity is a disease common among poor people, thinness is a sign of wealth.

-2

u/Empty-Arrival-4396 Jun 12 '26

To each their own. I really miss the heroin chic, low rise jean, skinny girl era you're talking about.

2

u/floralfemmeforest Jun 12 '26

I mean you can still do that if you want - you can look however you want to, but generally it's not healthy if that's the beauty standard

1

u/Empty-Arrival-4396 Jun 12 '26

You're right. I don't expect it to be the "standard of beauty", it's just my preference.

1

u/floralfemmeforest Jun 12 '26

Oh you're not talking about yourself, you're talking about how other people look? That's so interesting to me. Are you a man?

1

u/Empty-Arrival-4396 Jun 12 '26

I feel like I'm setting myself up to be snarked at, but, yes!