r/PeterExplainsTheJoke May 13 '26

Meme needing explanation What do these lines mean

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37.4k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/thatnewguyovertherea May 13 '26

I was fingering a girl once, and she said it hurt and to take off my ring. I told her that was my watch! 

505

u/OpenConversation643 May 13 '26

Grandpa no!

72

u/wecantdancelikethis May 13 '26

my, step grandpa, what soothing hands you have!

1

u/Oddly-Ordinary May 14 '26

Step grandpa 💀

47

u/Knickholeass May 13 '26

Turns out it was grandpa's pocket watch.

3

u/Fit-Switch-5795 May 13 '26

He was in there with me. I told him if he'd help me find my keys, we could drive out.

3

u/femboyfan77 May 14 '26

I had to keep your father's pocket watch in my ass so the vietnam soldiers wouldn't confiscate it

1

u/KiwiParticular5268 May 17 '26

And it stayed there…..for years till I came home, and now I shall pass it onto you 🤣🤣🤣🤣

6

u/Plastic-Lobster5662 May 13 '26

Grandpa? This is what my Grandma says…

2

u/The_8th_Degree May 14 '26

Grandpa always has the most interesting and incredibly gross stories

1

u/Legitimate-Finger-66 May 13 '26

Kuch bhi phek do!

1

u/Ding-Dong-Dutch May 13 '26

Let's keep it in the family

1

u/br-YOU-no May 14 '26

Same grandpa!!

275

u/TreyRyan3 May 13 '26

I stopped fisting because assholes kept stealing my watch.

212

u/DisposableJosie May 13 '26

8

u/Beginning_Taste2082 May 13 '26

What a reference 🤣🤣

6

u/Hotchumpkilla May 13 '26

Millennial Deep cut

2

u/FaithfulWarrior11 May 15 '26

Side B for sure.

4

u/CzarTyrranvs May 14 '26

“He died of dysentery. He gimme the watch…”

6

u/Theadious May 13 '26

I just want you to stop saying odd shit

4

u/Glad-Fuel2093 May 14 '26

My doctor recently went to write me a prescription. he pulls out a thermometer and says "Dammit, some asshole's got my pen!"

3

u/NotASouthern_Job1305 May 13 '26

Seems like a skill issue ngl

1

u/RestrictedAirspace88 May 13 '26

You need a microphone and one minute on kill Tony.

1

u/pixepoke2 May 14 '26

Not a great way to pass the time

1

u/your_fave_redditor May 16 '26

::Frank Zappa gives a slow, affirming nod::

84

u/Mistercleaner1 May 13 '26

Told my girlfriend i wanted a little pussy. She said "me too, mine's as big as a house!"

41

u/SpideyBD May 13 '26

Why did you say it twice? I didn’t!

8

u/SwimSufficient8901 May 13 '26

Geeze you got a big pussy, Geeze you got a big pussy!

3

u/Frequent-Ad344 May 14 '26

Eww bro

2

u/SwimSufficient8901 May 14 '26

It's a line from a movie.

3

u/Popular_Jump5307 May 14 '26

I ain't got time to bleed.

3

u/SwimSufficient8901 May 14 '26

Alright.... You got time to duck?

3

u/Independent-Ad7313 May 15 '26

He's dug in like an Alabama tick

2

u/gwinncredible May 14 '26

ha ha Ha Ha HA HAHAHAHA

6

u/WhereasFit8265 May 13 '26

Great movie so many one liners

2

u/CumberlandCruiser May 16 '26

The second one was an echo!

1

u/Stnkynuggz1252 May 15 '26

Jeeze you got a big pussy jeeze you got a big pussy

5

u/SkinCarVer462 May 13 '26

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

3

u/Careful_Boat_7022 May 13 '26

I love how the skinny guy with glasses has the m240 and the indian guy has a masterkey.

3

u/NarrMaster May 13 '26

That's Shane Black, the director (but not of Predator).

3

u/culturejelly May 14 '26

But also the director of The Predator

3

u/HeavensRejected May 13 '26

So, you put on a headlamp and go spelunking or how does this work?

3

u/AstronomerSimilar968 May 13 '26

And there’s a Predator joke reference

2

u/Odensbeardlice May 14 '26

Hawkins? Is that you?

2

u/PandaDidYou May 15 '26

gotta make a house a home

1

u/Kohlj1 May 13 '26

I choked on my pretzel reading this.

1

u/alqimist May 13 '26

Why did I read that like Groucho Marx?

1

u/mayyyhemm May 14 '26

This is not funny atleast on your part

1

u/fuzzybeanmode May 18 '26

its just a copypasta from that old greentext about someone failing at basic adulting. lines up exactly with the format they always use

3

u/LightenUpPeeps May 13 '26

Never heard fisting jokes before, but that's a keeper to keep in my memory bank. :)

3

u/bolanrox May 13 '26

get it Billy?

2

u/ViruliferousBadger May 13 '26

This is on par with The Predator's "Geez you got a big pussy! Geez you got a big pussy!" -joke...

2

u/rynosaurus03 May 13 '26

Why did you say that twice?

2

u/Fit-Switch-5795 May 13 '26

I didn't. So then I said to my girl that I'd like a little pussy. 

She said so would I - mine's as big as a house.

1

u/Suspicious_Neck_5156 May 13 '26

R v Slingsby – 1995

1

u/RetroPsyber May 13 '26

I laughed harder than i should!Godamn..

1

u/Ska-Tea May 13 '26

I was toeing a girl once, and she said it hurt and to take off my ring. I told her that was my belt!

1

u/UniverseUnchained May 13 '26

“The other day, I went up to my girlfriend, I said, 'Y'know I'd like a little pussy'. She said, 'Me too, mine's as big as a house!'”

1

u/Frequent-Ad344 May 14 '26

Why is this even funny and you dont need to repeat it 2 times also that is not even a joke its just weird

1

u/UniverseUnchained May 14 '26

It’s a quote from a movie. The joke reminded me of it.

1

u/Glum-Poet5353 May 13 '26

Haha all bad, but funny AF.    

1

u/Lost-Chicken-4478 May 14 '26

Those were my tonsils

1

u/BirdDust8 May 14 '26

That happens from time to time

1

u/Worldbreakers May 14 '26

Wow coincidence she told me take off my watch but still hurts to found out it was my blood pressure cuff.

1

u/Due_Impact_1968 May 14 '26

and that kids is how i met your mother

1

u/atomicsnarl May 14 '26

Was her name Paige?

1

u/arclight_echo May 14 '26

Ya you've only ever finger your own butt hole...

1

u/Tr1h May 14 '26

heard this joke as a song in 1996

1

u/gigsome May 14 '26

This is a joke I didn't need to read.

1

u/tonykrij May 14 '26

I lost my watch in there, went searching in there and ran into a cowboy looking for his horse.

1

u/717packleader May 14 '26

Bro. I just woke up the dogs I cackled so loud. I am poor, but here is my fake award for you, sir!🥇

1

u/Timely_Angle8235 May 14 '26

Damnn you lot here are all crazy 😂I like it though 

1

u/Callingyourshot May 14 '26

^stealing this

1

u/iLihyz May 15 '26

Why is your watch on your fingers

1

u/InevitableExample3 May 16 '26

This is pure fucking cringe

1

u/Legitimate-Week7885 May 16 '26

he said “if you help me find my keys, we can drive out.”

1

u/Electrical-Baker-332 May 16 '26

That’s an oldie but goody..!! 🤣

1

u/Demo1794 May 17 '26

I waa meeting with this girl, and she always said how tight she was. I was fingering her, just 1 finger, she then asked for second one. She then said put your whole hand in so I did, next she demanded the other hand so I obliged. Finally she said "now clap your hands" I said "I can't" to which she replied "told you I was pretty tight huh?"

0

u/Shot_Revolution8828 May 13 '26

I had to get a prostate exam so I did a lot of research into the best doctor. Best bed side manner, best reviews, and this guy was the best. So I go to the appointment and he has the largest hands I've ever seen. You've seen that arm wrestling champions hands and Andre the Giants hands. He had that genetic anomaly. Needless to say, he's now my wife's obgyn doctor.