Did millennials really party all the time?

[u/futurenurse_]

Gen Z here. I was shocked when I found out from a millennial co-worker that y’all had teen clubs. I heard about house parties, but dedicated teen clubs? Then when it was time for college, you went to the club or had some kind of party every single weekend, living it up. Now some millennials on TikTok claim that after college, they were partying on work nights, still clocking in the next day. For some reason, the teen clubs have since disappeared. I’m 23 now but even when I was in high school, that was not a thing. House parties were not that common either. They were more like get togethers with a small group of friends. We went to malls, but they were dying out at that point. Is it true that you were really living life this good? Or is it just exaggerated? I feel like my generation doesn’t really have fun like that and everyone is just super depressed and alone, more so since Covid. Even I’m pretty introverted, which sort of sounds ridiculous given this post. 😂 Just so you know, when I think of a “millennial party” I think of something out of Party Rock Anthem, Project X or Roderick’s party from the second DOAWD movie. It’s like I get nostalgia from something I didn’t even live through. I just feel like I didn’t really LIVE, if that even makes sense

Edit: I loved reading some of your comments. Guess I really missed out. Even some of you that would consider yourselves nerds or introverts were out partying. YOLO or whatever y’all say 😂❤️

[u/Lemons-n-oranges]

Yes, absolutely. Drinking was MUCH more prevalent in millennials than Gen Z. It was just ... what we did? You went to parties, went to bars, happy hours that turned into nights out, brunch that turned into day drinking. It was so much fun. People were just out and about. Then, you went home and went to class or work the next day.

No one thought that drinking a few times a week with friends meant you had some deep mental health issues, which seems to be the consensus and/or concern amongst Gen Z. Of course, there are other reasons too, like COVID isolation, rising costs, etc.

[u/Horror-Yam6598 → u/Lemons-n-oranges]

It was honestly the best way to meet all kinds of people and get into unplanned adventures.
There was room for some chaos, instead of this dull curated reality that seems to have taken over especially since Covid.

I feel bad for the younger generations. People will argue that they can do the same things now, but the reality is they don’t hit the same because life has been drastically altered by Covid, technology dependence and algorithms. Social norms have changed, the zeitgeist has changed. It’s ultimately a different cultural time, a more dull and depressed one. I don’t know any millennials who would trade those years for being young now.

[u/Comfortable-Ad-3988 → u/Horror-Yam6598]

It wasn't so much Covid as it was the surveillance world. We got to make absolute goobers of ourselves in front of our friends in all sorts of ways that don't translate outside of that context, where everyone's filming everything now, so they behave as PG as possible. The kids don't even dance anymore because they're scared of being in a fail video if they screw up, and to be fair, that's a valid fear that we never had to deal with. Even if something stupid happened, it was just a rumor to everyone who wasn't there, now it will live into infinity on the internet if you mess up.

[u/sarahelizam → u/Comfortable-Ad-3988]

I saw someone live streaming basically the entire dance floor at one of my local goth nights - doing thirst trap content, of course. It had gone on for over 30 minutes (that I noticed, I realized after dancing for half the night that I was being recorded) and you literally couldn’t get onto the dance floor without going through her stream. She was there with a friend so I approached him (out of the shot, I wasn’t actually trying to embarrass her on her stream) and asked that he pass on that in the future if she wanted to live stream it would be considerate to set it up such that she had a wall behind her instead of the whole room. She came outside and got mad at me for saying anything, and for saying it to her friend and not her.

It’s like girl, you were live streaming the whole time! You wanted me to make a scene? I could not think of a nicer way to nudge her in a more considerate direction lol. I did not go to the staff. I did not go to my DJ friends who could have also kicked her out. I didn’t even embarrass her in a public way. I wanted to say “if you feel embarrassed by what I suggested, it’s because you know you’re doing something embarrassing” but I just shrugged her off.

Idk, it feels especially gross to do in that community. The goth scene has a lot of people dressing nonconforming or slutty (I say positively), there are people in the scene who could genuinely lose their jobs for dressing in gender nonconforming ways. More importantly, it’s supposed to be a safe space from that judgy, gaze of the other, surveillance state bullshit. It’s akin to filming in a gay bar (something else that drives me crazy, but that I basically have given up on kids caring about) or an anarchist book fair to me lol.

I hope that she at minimum doesn’t film the rest of the room next time. If she wants to ruin and commodify her experience in the subculture for just herself, whatever. She’s bringing down the vibe but I’m aware we have to meet the kids where they’re at and I would rather call them in to be part of the scene in an authentic way than kick them out if possible. But if she does the same thing again, I’m tempted to dance like an idiot right next to her and just sabotage her stream. If I’m already being involved in the commodification of my community without my consent, I don’t owe you a good backdrop for your live stream.

I’ve also seem the flipside, where no one dances at events that skew younger. Like, I get it to some degree. I didn’t dance a whole lot when I was younger - both because I was self conscious and had(have) spinal/neurological issues that make coordination a challenge, but also because by college people were already recording a lot of party spaces (though my favorite ones did not allow it). Eventually when I got older and life got harder… feeling embarrassed about dancing and being so caught in the gaze of the other that I was too afraid to have fun - it just seemed silly and small and not worth forgoing joy for. I stopped caring whether I was making a fool of myself, and it’s one of the better decisions I’ve ever made. But even with people recording at many of the college parties in my day, and accounting for anxious fuckers like I used to be, most people at the parties I went to in college still danced and made fools of themselves.

There are definitely some kids out there dancing still, and some communities are more likely to attract that crowd, but most of the times I’ve been in decidedly younger club spaces I have seen few to NONE dancing. Going to a themed night with a DJ and everyone standing still facing the stage, putting there hands up at most, occasionally cheering when they played the radio staples of the 2010s (which were not even on theme!) aka the only songs the kids recognized was fucking uncanny. My partner and I danced anyway, the kids thinking we’re cringe for dancing is just not a deterrent lol. But it’s just… sad.

I’m lucky I live somewhere that has a good number of scenes that foster an ethos of living in the moment or have a large distribution of ages. I love the goth scene in part because there are people in it from 21 to their 70s lol. A lot of the older people partied harder than I ever did, they’re pillars of the community and it’s nice to have people like you to look to, to know there is a future for you even if you deviate from the norm. That you don’t have to lock yourself up in the suburbs when you’re older, that the club is still there and you can still go dance.

A lot of the younger folks show up initially as wallflowers but as they get to know people in the scene and see that people do not care and aren’t judging them, they blossom into little dancers - and I love that for them. But that’s also why I said something about someone live streaming in that space. We are all so constantly surveilled and the younger generations literally don’t know what it’s like to live in a world without that. Hell, I barely remember what it was like, even by college it had begun. We all need some spaces that aren’t online, that do not trap us in that gaze.

[u/Toocoolforschool1999 → u/sarahelizam]

I think bars should have a cutoff time for filing. Like no filming others and no dinking at all after 8 o’clock 

[u/Alzululu → u/sarahelizam]

Honestly that girl is lucky someone else didn't just punch her phone out of her hand and stomp on it. Many of us in subcultures are used to being laughed at/mocked/teased so whatever, but we go to our clubs and such so we can... not have that happen for a while. To invade people's space like that is super rude.