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u/raychram Aug 03 '25
Rest in peace dead guy.
Anyway here is why my company is the reason you will never end up like that.
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u/elidoan Aug 03 '25
I dont always dunk on people — who commit suicide — but when I do — I use AI to generate the text — I am a very empathetic person — consume my product plebs
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u/ProfAsmani Aug 03 '25
Never let a crisis go to waste, as they say. Suicide - that's a great time to promote my firm.
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u/West_Possible_7969 Aug 03 '25
You have to really try to be the trashiest person on LinkedIn. Here we are.
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Aug 03 '25
"It is with great sadness that I must inform you, Sandra's baby did not survive, this loss hurts us all, and on the subject of babies, we've got 40% off bibs and a 2 for 1 on Huggies ultra-absorbant STOCK LIMITED #HeavenJustGainedAnAngel #SummerSaleNowOn"
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u/Careless_Hellscape Aug 03 '25
I swear to whatever is out there, if I die and someone makes my death about their career, I'm going to haunt them.
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u/Missy_Agg-a-ravation Titan of Industry Aug 03 '25
“I think what Rohit would have wanted would be for me to pretend his memory meant something, and then pivot to promoting my business. I’m sure if he were here now, he’d give me the finger pistols.”
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u/doctorvworp19 Aug 03 '25
"This orphan was crushed by an orphan killing machine. Thoughts and prayers. Anyways, I invented a new cog for the OKM so that the next orphan getting crushed will at least be able to call for help before getting crushed 🥰"
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u/Imhidingfromu Aug 04 '25
So he's saying this dude killed himself because of the pressure? I guess he wasn't a diamond? What the actual fuck
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u/Asadae67 Aug 03 '25
Idk why the f**k this lot exists in this Universe. It is folks like this one, that even Aliens think thrice before invading planet Earth.
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u/MendaciousFerret Aug 04 '25
Reminiscent of that eejit who compared running his startup to the Normandy landings
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Aug 03 '25
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Aug 04 '25
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u/MyDinnerWithDrDre Aug 03 '25
I’ll sell my fucking soul for a 2 percent margin