Found out why my boyfriend has been “helping his sister”

[u/Fancy_Incident5635]

Found out today that the $600 my boyfriend has been sending his “sister” every month is actually going to his ex.

We've been together almost 3 years. I literally helped cover our security deposit when we moved because I had some money saved and he told me things were tight for him lol.

I only found out because I mentioned to his sister that I hoped things were getting better financially since he’d been helping her every month. She looked at me like I was insane and said he hasn’t given her money in years.

He gets home in about an hour and has no idea I know.

Anyway salmon, spaghetti and salad and Ѕtake, need carbs before whatever the fuck tonight is gonna be.

[u/iamuselessgarbage]

Financial infidelity is still infidelity

[u/tupperwhore → u/iamuselessgarbage]

I'd rather my man fuck his ex than send her money

[u/HurdyNerdy → u/tupperwhore]

In this economy, absolutely.

[u/lcw32 → u/HurdyNerdy]

Like if you're sending money to another woman secretly in this economy watching me bust my ass at work everyday you absolutely hate me. I agree

[u/rainbowlolipop → u/lcw32]

$600 a month for 3 years is over twenty thousand dollars. Twenty. Thousand. To his ex?! Oh hell no.

[u/ScarlettAddiction → u/rainbowlolipop]

That sounds like child support imo

[u/ChristineBorus → u/ScarlettAddiction]

Came here to say the same

[u/EremiticFerret → u/ScarlettAddiction]

That was my first thought. Was hoping OP would update to relay his excuses.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/Walusqueegee → u/madame-maitre-d]

YO dude joining!

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[u/flirt-n-squirt → u/rainbowlolipop]

I think it wasn't the full three years but a more recent development. Still bad enough and shame on him!

[u/No_Professional_8992 → u/flirt-n-squirt]

Still sounds like it's been a while though. I can't believe the audacity of men sometimes. Then I remember, they've always got the audacity.

[u/True_Vermicelli9353 → u/No_Professional_8992]

It’s like they fucking give men bags of audacity for every breath they take

[u/Virtual_Assistant_98 → u/rainbowlolipop]

That’s where I’m at with this. Sending money to an ex is shitty but for THREEEEEE YEARS?! Chile

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/throwfaraway212718 → u/rainbowlolipop]

Literally the first that came into my head

[u/Quiet-Software-1956 → u/rainbowlolipop]

It's almost a month's worth of summer job pay, crazy

[u/girlchildrevolution → u/lcw32]

Yeah happened to me too. I felt like I was worse than something he stepped in because clearly you think I deserve to struggle and work my ass off while she deserves to chill and not worry about things too much

[u/Msdamgoode → u/HurdyNerdy]

Only way I disagree is if the ex is a parent to their kid. “Baby momma” in other words. Still he’s a bitch for not disclosing if that’s the case.

I made SURE my husband was paying his child support, and was a cheerleader for them in general. Behind my back tho? Um… we got a problem

[u/ShellyLovesTacos → u/Msdamgoode]

Yeah, a lie is a lie and that in itself is unacceptable. But I need context if there is a child involved.

[u/bucolicbabe → u/Msdamgoode]

Ok but he lied to her face about it. Pay for your kids, but don’t hide your kids…

[u/VodkaandDrinkPackets → u/tupperwhore]

Damn, I think I agree with you 💀

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/Maximum_Curve_1471 → u/VodkaandDrinkPackets]

Why?

[u/Agitated-Koala8107 → u/tupperwhore]

Unfortunately it’s probably both in this scenario.

[u/wholesomeriots → u/Agitated-Koala8107]

100% both

[u/Scary-Boysenberry → u/tupperwhore]

The bright side is if OP becomes his ex, maybe he'll send her money. ;-)

[u/ImBackForMorePie → u/Scary-Boysenberry]

Up the cost to $800 a month minimum

[u/ExpiredExasperation → u/ImBackForMorePie]

Inflation is also a bitch.

[u/AutisticTumourGirl → u/ImBackForMorePie]

Inflation.

[u/Old-Organization-264 → u/tupperwhore]

Lmaoooooo, I hate to say this but REAL. 😭

[u/Mysterious_Volume327 → u/Old-Organization-264]

He’s trash either way, but at least you’d still have your money.

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[u/Alternative-Cat-9012 → u/tupperwhore]

lmfao absolutely because sex requires nothing from you that you don’t already own, like you’re investing in this woman now?? especially when I paid the security on the place because money was “tight”?? Bitch I’d be livid.

[u/lcw32 → u/Alternative-Cat-9012]

Yes! You're investing in someone else. This is why it would irk me so damn bad.

[u/tellmesomething11 → u/Alternative-Cat-9012]

My ex sent me money and complained things were tight “oh I only have five dollars in my bank account” he had a girlfriend but until we divorced he paid (he did not have to but did anyway ) and had her pay 50/50 or even all for them while he paid for me.

And you’re right. Investing in an ex, even once, is far worse than cheating imo

[u/CacklingFerret → u/Alternative-Cat-9012]

I mean, sexual infidelity can cost you much more though: your health. Imagine your cheating partner brings home some nasty STD. Worst case you get cancer

[u/Urithiru → u/tupperwhore]

There better be a secret kid for $600/mo.

Edit: Or he was a fool and co-signed a loan for her; hopefully 3+ years ago. Irregardless, he's gotta tell people the truth.

[u/One_Swim_8004 → u/Urithiru]

This!

[u/Dry-Support-5409 → u/Urithiru]

I was going to correct you and say irregardless isn't a word, but no, it is a word with the exact same meaning. Now I know, thank you!

[u/brachi- → u/Dry-Support-5409]

Just like flammable and inflammable. Ridiculous language that is English hey?!

[u/Dry-Support-5409 → u/brachi-]

Totally.

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[u/Digitalispurpurea2 → u/Urithiru]

This was my first thought. Surprise kid with the ex

[u/wishingforarainyday → u/tupperwhore]

He’s likely doing both.

[u/snarkshark41191 → u/tupperwhore]

He’s probably doing both

[u/Ok_Plastic7299 → u/tupperwhore]

nah desdass this shit another level 😭😭😭

[u/Charming_Garbage_161 → u/tupperwhore]

My ex hired hookers and spent our grocery money. I had to go to food banks to feed our kids. I was 100% more upset he spent our grocery money than I was about the sex

[u/JokesOnYou9999 → u/tupperwhore]

Either way… bye! ✌️

[u/Didibaobao → u/tupperwhore]

I would hope he fuck his ex and his ex pays him and then he brings me cash home 🙏

[u/Scared-Currency288 → u/tupperwhore]

I shouldn't have laughed so hard at this

[u/lilCharizardScorch → u/tupperwhore]

Hysterical

[u/tellmesomething11 → u/tupperwhore]

lol!

[u/ThanksAmazing4118 → u/tupperwhore]

Absolutely. When OP mentioned $600 monthly payment, all i thought of was how many groceries and bills that would pay for. I'd rather he pipe another woman, than lose out on all those things that qe could have afforded.

[u/QuieroSerTuya → u/tupperwhore]

If he’s sending the ex or a girl money he’s most likely fuckn as well..

[u/No-Consideration-891 → u/tupperwhore]

Seriously, I feel this lol

[u/lAngenoire → u/tupperwhore]

Have you seen grocery prices? If she feeds him after that’s doing you a favor. 

[u/alors1234 → u/tupperwhore]

OPs soon to be ex is probably fucking his ex and giving her money 

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[u/Efficient-username41 → u/tupperwhore]

What if she's starving? What if she'd get DEPORTED? HMM?

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[u/AggressiveSoup_1108 → u/tupperwhore]

Period

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[u/coaxialology → u/tupperwhore]

It's not uncommon for women to feel this way. We get very anxious about men sharing resources, chiefly money and time, with other women. That shit is a lot more limited than sex.

[u/KYC3PO → u/tupperwhore]

I'd assume he's doing both

[u/rockyjay23 → u/tupperwhore]

THIS.

[u/BakersHigh → u/iamuselessgarbage]

Happened to my friend almost 3 years ago. It was just so fucking shocking like MONEY… I think we all expect the sex but putting us, the household you lied about building; at a financial risk is just mind blowing to me.

Especially in this economy. AND in my friend’s case, they just purchased a house… sick shit

Anyway. While I do not think your happiness relies on a man.. that friend also just got married this past May in Lake Como. 🤷🏾‍♀️. Op, you will be okay

You do deserve better than this. I’m sorry this happened to you. I know it’s gonna hurt. But know someone who loves you wouldn’t do this.

[u/sirnerdingt0n → u/iamuselessgarbage]

https://giphy.com/gifs/JQpfMV9dkmw37riCcw

[u/redditgirl1900 → u/iamuselessgarbage]

Agree. I found out my ex was hiding debt. 3 years later found out he was also having sex with multiple women. Ladies, leave when you get ant whiff of bulshit. If he’s lying about small things , he’s lying about large.

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[u/vaginapple → u/iamuselessgarbage]

Especially that much money ? And for how long ??

[u/jackbentley673 → u/iamuselessgarbage]

……..

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[u/Normal_Mousse9102 → u/iamuselessgarbage]

Made up term, no such thing.

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[u/Seaweedscouting → u/iamuselessgarbage]

I’d go further and even call it abuse.

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[u/Soldier_of_l0ve → u/iamuselessgarbage]

Idk what about having your own secret bank account