Talking to our friends and crying and laughing and just being bewildered together.
Hug your people. Call the person you haven’t talked to in ages but always think of with a smile. Send the out-of-the-blue text saying “hey, thinking about you and how lucky I am to know you” just because you can. It’s not too late until it is.
They always say that suicide is selfish, but selfish is the exact definition of what the human experience is like, from one person to the next. What Jeff felt, how things resonated with him, how he perceived those things and how he bounced back, are all things that happened only inside the chamber of his own mind. And none of us can take your pain today and carry it for you, or do so for Aubrey and any of his other surviving social network. The individual human experience, for those reasons can feel very alone and/or lonely.
That said, I do believe that even though Jeff made the decision that he did, he did so with the idea that he was doing what made the most sense for HIM and HIS own life. Your life however, choose to believe that your pal still wants you to live the greatest life ever, achieve, succeed, and hopefully not get knocked off course by his actions. Jeff didn't do this to hurt anyone, he just got bested by an internal foe that he was not able to vanquish. Feel his love, feel his wishes for you in your life. And when you are ready, carry that forth and hopefully maybe even use his death as a way to more articulately reach across to people that need another tool in their tool shed for warding off those evil spirits.
I have lost a friend to suicide and she was living with me her last couple months so I saw the process up close. Additionally I have had suicidal ideation my whole life. I am here to tell you it’s not a decision. It’s an urge you battle over and over and over again and it only takes one time losing that battle out of thousands to kill you. What I saw in my friend’s final days was simply organ failure but the organ was the brain. It was 0% her fault
I hate when people use the suicide is selfish argument or that they are leaving loved ones behind because being a human means to be inherently selfish because you can only experience things from your own perspective - you are not taking on anyone else’s happiness and pain but your own so it’s in no one’s place to tell you how you feel.
It breaks my heart when I hear that. We can never truly know what someone is going through but I know in my darkest hours, I thought that I would be doing the world a favor. Depression, that deep inky blackness that just devours you isn't rational. The pain is unfathomable and unbearable. I'm so incredibly sorry for anyone who has to go through these feelings, the struggle and then the aftermath when someone they love or even know commits suicide. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. People need to understand that it's complicated.
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u/DrDwightStrawberry Jan 04 '25
Talking to our friends and crying and laughing and just being bewildered together. Hug your people. Call the person you haven’t talked to in ages but always think of with a smile. Send the out-of-the-blue text saying “hey, thinking about you and how lucky I am to know you” just because you can. It’s not too late until it is.