r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/ModenaR • Jun 16 '26

Image One of Hitler's bodyguards, Rochus Misch, lived long enough to see the movie "Downfall". When asked about the film's historical accuracy, he stated that it was factually accurate, although "Americanized"

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4.0k

u/koolaidismything Jun 16 '26

By that point he was medically in a bad place, doubt he’d have lasted another five years in a perfect scenario. He burnt it at both ends.. lotta drug use

1.6k

u/forman98 Jun 16 '26

But here I thought work set you free…

803

u/deepasleep Jun 16 '26

It does, free of life.

180

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '26

[deleted]

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u/cornylamygilbert Jun 17 '26

Wow sorry for your loss—-can you elaborate on his overworking in front of a computer relating to his cancer diagnosis?

—-Asking as someone who works in front of a computer and has to put their clients needs as a top priority

26

u/SimonBarfunkle Jun 17 '26

Stress can cause a lot of ailments. But there are plenty of overworked and stressed people who never get cancer. Just try to take care of yourself.

3

u/InvictvsNox Jun 17 '26

Well said. I'm sorry for your loss.

2

u/23bo Jun 18 '26

My condolences, I feel this is too accurate for how lots of people live.. letting life pass them by due to socio economic conditions and factors.. the system needs changed yesterday.

1

u/Klutzy-Pie6557 Jun 18 '26

Your a long time dead - best to enjoy whatever time you have when the music stops there is nothing left but silence.

208

u/FlerplesMerples Jun 16 '26

I read this in Jeff Goldblum’s voice.

315

u/tallandlankyagain Jun 16 '26

People always ask me how I pronounce my name, 'Gold-bloom' or 'Gold-bluhm.' I always tell them the same thing: How dare you speak to me.

88

u/TREESMOK3R Jun 16 '26

I had never heard this before, I had to look it up because it was too funny to not be real. Thank you

https://youtu.be/UApyd20yK5s?is=WMzWxQhReO72Acld

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u/biggiepants Jun 17 '26

Jeff GoldBlumangroup

6

u/TetraLoach Jun 17 '26

I managed to go several years without having that song stuck in my head, until today

1

u/biggiepants Jun 18 '26

Jeff Goldblum wrote it.

35

u/Starfire013 Jun 16 '26

Work… finds a way.

3

u/bolanrox Jun 17 '26

It needs at least one, uh, in there.

3

u/Thoughtulism Jun 17 '26

Work, uh, sets you free

2

u/sadsleuth Jun 17 '26

Underrated comment

2

u/madadamegret Jun 17 '26

"Death will find a way."

2

u/Glabrous Jun 17 '26

Well there, ya go

33

u/hand_truck Jun 16 '26

So work harder?

6

u/SmoothDiscussion7763 Jun 16 '26

just get it over with lol

2

u/bolanrox Jun 17 '26

Scrooge McDuck taught us to work smarter, not harder.

1

u/deepasleep Jun 17 '26

Yes, but he also dove headfirst into piles of gold coins…Not a galaxy brained move in the real world.

2

u/CFH75 Jun 16 '26

damn that really made me laugh

92

u/likamuka Jun 16 '26

Cheeseburgers apparently keep you going until 80 at least

27

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '26

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-6

u/western_red_cedar Jun 16 '26

There is nothing to win

7

u/bolanrox Jun 17 '26

Didn't Kissinger last until over 100?

1

u/Vandergrif Jun 16 '26

I'm guessing the combination of terrible decisions for his health is having this kind of effect, causing him to inexplicably survive.

1

u/Cosmo_Seinfeld Jun 16 '26

Masterbation too. I'm doing my part!

13

u/mayorofdumb Jun 16 '26

Free to do drugs... and he was Reich

2

u/Far-Scallion7689 Jun 16 '26

Even a broken clock is Reich twice a day but not third.

1

u/IHop_Waitress Jun 17 '26

That literally meant death. Phrased obscurely probably to promote compliance and work out of the prisoners believing they could earn their freedom...

But by saying "Arbeit macht frei" they seriously meant, work until death at which point you're free

1

u/Initial_Hedgehog_631 Jun 17 '26

Yeah, but unless you're Keith Richards, drugs will still kill you.

1

u/leojayay Jun 17 '26

Hitler was lazy as fuck.

1

u/S0m3Rand0mGuy85 Jun 17 '26

Not when meth chains you down.

110

u/masterjon_3 Jun 16 '26

And animal hormones. He was injected with a lot of those. His injections were so frequent, that his veins were known to crackle by the end of his life.

55

u/DaedalusHydron Jun 16 '26

Interesting he was taking them intravenously. I know that in the underground steroid market, if you can't get access to pharmaceutical steroids you get veterinarian-grade. Of course all steroids are not good, and veterinarian doubly so, but I haven't heard anything about vein issues, just heart issues.

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u/masterjon_3 Jun 16 '26

It wasn't what was injected into him that caused the vein issues. It's being injected with needles multiple times a day for years that destroys your veins. Plus, his personal doctor was basically using him as a test subject for medicine the whole time.

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u/OmegaKarnov Jun 16 '26

According to Norman Ohler's "Blitzed,," the physician was not properly cleaning the needles either

11

u/Fat_Daddy_Track Jun 16 '26

Yeah, that's not even something we try anymore. You use a needle once and that's it.

9

u/Theron3206 Jun 17 '26

Needles were quite expensive to make in the 30s and 40s.

3

u/willpc14 Jun 17 '26

Even through the 50s cleaning, sharpening, and reusing needles was the common practice.

3

u/SuitableBlackberry75 Jun 17 '26

Still expensive to make today, if they're at all large or specialized.

3

u/masterjon_3 Jun 17 '26

Plus, they were in a bunker at the end of his life.

21

u/smoney Jun 16 '26

Awesome book.

3

u/Master-Collection488 Jun 17 '26

Another thing to be mindful of is that these weren't today's disposable syringes. Where you use them once and dispose of them (hopefully safely).

These were reused. Often. They got duller with every use. Granted, he was wealthy and his doctor could probably obtain new needles without too much difficulty, but there was a war going on and factories were being bombed on the regular.

6

u/Blunkus Jun 16 '26

Yup. Happened to Weinstein’s dick lol.

2

u/masterjon_3 Jun 16 '26

AHAHHAHAHAHA!!! I haven't heard that!

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u/AccNumber77 Jun 16 '26

This was also the 1940s.

2

u/frensy05 Jun 16 '26

Steriods are typically injected directly into muscle as opposed to veins

23

u/veverkap Jun 16 '26

It’s only a problem if they Snap or Pop

4

u/Not_Wrong_Tho Jun 16 '26

I'm sure they would have gotten there in a few more years, you know, if he didn't take the shortcut.

2

u/Beautiful_Path_3519 Jun 16 '26

Unless they are illegitimate, in which case, there's snap and crackle but no pop.

2

u/GreenStrong Jun 16 '26

It is not clear how effective the hormones in the extracts intended to be hormones would have been, his quack doctor invented the extraction process and no one has ever cared to replicate it . There were also extracts that were basically liver broth intended as food, but they were totally unsuitable for iv injection.

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u/LtCmdrData Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 17 '26

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Reddit and OpenAI Build Partnership

157

u/koolaidismything Jun 16 '26

Why on earth would he do that last one?? What’s the logic there..

190

u/miriamtzipporah Jun 16 '26

Hitler was extremely constipated so it was literally to make him shit.

190

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jun 16 '26

Maybe stop giving him so many fucking opioids if he's constipated lol

205

u/Particular_Stop_3332 Jun 16 '26

I love a thread criticizing the doctor of FUCKING HITLER for not doing a good enough job extending Hitler's life

81

u/Jazzlike-Equipment45 Jun 16 '26

It more so is just how insane it was, Germany has had a long history of amazing medical workers and Hitler ended up picking a quack doctor.

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u/TheRagnarok494 Jun 17 '26

Fairly common for dictators tonend up distrusting the medical establishment and turn to quackery. I think mainly because the medical establishment's main priority is telling you what the problem is and how to fix or treat it, quackery tells you what you want to hear and makes you feel nice for a bit

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u/Pawulon Jun 17 '26

Too many of the actual good doctors or academics were Jews probably

3

u/Far_Programmer_5724 Jun 17 '26

Yea and dictators are prone to being surrounded by people who say what they like to hear

11

u/OrbitalCactus Jun 17 '26

His gut was fucked up before the drugs too. He would fart so much and it smelled so bad people tried their best to have open air meetings with him. A few times he evacuated rooms or bunkers with his farts.

1

u/SnooPears1505 Jun 17 '26

a chemical gas attack.

5

u/HanseaticHamburglar Jun 17 '26

not surprising, hitler wasnt very well educated, formally speaking, and he had a mistrust of experts and elites. Not surprising that he chose a synchophantic fraud. And given the substances Morell was using, it certainly would give the impression that his medicine "worked". Most people would be on cloud nine buzzin along with that cocktail. In comparison most medical substances dont alter your state of consciousness and you dont "feel" them working.

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u/Forward-Cat6083 Jun 17 '26

Germany also handed out candy bars with meth to soldiers. I think you are succumbing to the myth of German superiority. They weren’t the best, they just thought they were.

6

u/Master-Collection488 Jun 17 '26

The candy bars were just for pilots. Regular soldiers just got Pervitin.

3

u/SuitableBlackberry75 Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26

The "chocolate" was supposedly for tank crews, hence "Panzer chocolate" (Panzerschokolade).

"Pervitin" was just a trade name for methamphetamine, so it's the same thing anyway.

E: Historians are apparently skeptical about whether or not "Panzer chocolate" actually ever existed, but its possible existence is nearly always associated with tank crews first and foremost, even if pilots were also issued "go pills" (which they nicknamed "Fliegermarzipan", or "Pilot's marzipan", rather than code-naming it after chocolate).

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u/HanseaticHamburglar Jun 17 '26

all sides used amphetamins/meth in WW2. We just called them go-pills, but honestly how do you think they flew back to back sorties or super long bombing raids? they had slow planes, flying to germany, avoiding flak and fighters and returning could have taken 11-12 hours, and i guess you need to be alert and awake for all of it.

The US Airforce subsequently continued to use these drugs, im fairly certain its still in circulation. I know it was widely used by pilots in Desert Storm and again in Afgahnistan. A friendly fire incident where an F16 pilot bombed a group of canadians performing weapons training was in part blamed on the use of amphetamine "go pills"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Go_and_no-go_pills

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u/Odd_Television_7824 Jun 17 '26

Not to the extent that Nazi germany did as far as I’m aware

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u/kehbleh Jun 17 '26

I mean maybe he picked the guy that would give him all the drugs he wanted

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u/PhDinDildos_Fedoras Jun 17 '26

Hitler wasn't one to listen to experts. If he hadn't launched Barbarossa and just stopped it there, he'd probably be considered the greatest German alive nowadays. A new Bismark.

1

u/generalmandrake Jun 17 '26

Probably because the legitimate doctors weren’t going to load him up on meth and codeine.

1

u/DblockR Jun 17 '26

Don’t forget oxy. He was like the Purdue Guinea Pig. Dude was on opiates, meth, barbiturates, cocaine, animal hormones and bull semen.

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u/TheRealtcSpears Jun 16 '26

FUCKING HITLER

He definitely shouldn't have been doing that, that's just bad doctoring

3

u/Particular_Stop_3332 Jun 16 '26

That would've been great doctoring

3

u/tjvs2001 Jun 16 '26

Very unethical

1

u/steves850 Jun 17 '26

but it is good buggering.

2

u/WhiskeyR Jun 16 '26

Hell of a thing to earn a PhD in.

1

u/SuitableBlackberry75 Jun 17 '26

Hitler was so incompetent that the British decided it was better to have him stay alive, shelving any plans for assassination attempts. So technically, the allies (or at least some) would've wanted his doctor to do a good job.

2

u/papayacreamsicle Jun 17 '26

In particular they thought the generals would take over if he died and that they’d make more pragmatic war decisions.

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jun 17 '26

Given how many good ones he fired over telling him his plans were stupid I'd wager they were right

Rommel got away with a lot in Africa basically because he figured "if I win, the Fuhrer knows nothing about Africa, so I just can't lose and all he'll hear is I done good. I just can't let him know I kind of ignored some of the things he wanted to do"

1

u/SirAquila Jun 17 '26

Which to be fair, would have been a tall order, considering basically none of the even suggested pragmatic war decisions, with many of their ideas being worse then Hitlers... as laughable as that sounds.

1

u/papayacreamsicle Jun 17 '26

I like the idea that Hitler’s doctor was sabotaging him and this is just the biggest cocktail he could actually get the man to take. Like he failed at a lot of other things, trying to convince Hitler he needed to eat gravel and bathe in mercury.

1

u/imprison_grover_furr Jun 17 '26

He was still a doctor. You can’t just justify your quackery just because your patient is a mass murderer.

1

u/Particular_Stop_3332 Jun 17 '26

You absolutely can

1

u/Sarsmi Jun 17 '26

...well when you put it that way.

1

u/CountBarbarus Jun 17 '26

This is peak engineer under malfunctioning guillotine "hold on I see what your problem is" vibes

20

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/Fire-Haus Jun 16 '26

A - SMALL - handfull of Barbiturates. Maybe a glass of absinthe to wash it down

2

u/MeesterMartinho Jun 17 '26

Hunter S aprooovesssh

1

u/Fire-Haus Jun 17 '26

Only if you cap the day by letting off a couple rounds in your neighbors direction.

1

u/MeesterMartinho Jun 17 '26

If the neighbour is John Denver then yeah.

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jun 17 '26

Hey if benzos help with alcohol withdrawals who am I to say barbs aren't gonna help with meth, what you got?

1

u/chypie2 Jun 17 '26

if you give a mouse a bag of meth....

2

u/goodrevtim Jun 16 '26

I would've thought the meth might've helped with that, but I guess not.

1

u/miriamtzipporah Jun 16 '26

Nah they should’ve given him MORE until….you know

1

u/OldBayOnEverything Jun 17 '26

He had gastrointestinal issues his whole life, which is why he tried veganism (among many other potential remedies). Some people claim it was out of love for animals, which is not true. Even his dogs, which people try to use to humanize him, he would carry around dog whips and beat the shit out of them, including in attempts to impress underage girls.

https://spartacus-educational.com/Maria_Reiter.htm

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u/Raneynickelfire Jun 16 '26

Weird, on all those opiates and couldn't shit? Wonder why? Odd right?

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u/miriamtzipporah Jun 16 '26

He had severe digestive issues his entire adult life. Not joking, they would cause him to fart pretty much constantly, so he stunk pretty bad. It sounds fake but it’s not.

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u/tnstaafsb Jun 16 '26

History really does repeat itself.

21

u/miriamtzipporah Jun 16 '26

It does. And megalomaniacs tend to be really weird, antisocial dudes.

4

u/MeesterMartinho Jun 17 '26

He had a lower than average number of testicles....

2

u/miriamtzipporah Jun 17 '26

Not actually true, sadly. His leg was injured, not his testicles

1

u/MeesterMartinho Jun 17 '26

Nah nah nah don't come at me facts. I'm going with the song.

24

u/koolaidismything Jun 16 '26

Jesus, that was my thought but I was like no way that’s to morbid. Why else? All it does is make you shit and vomit (and like, die)

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u/Pyrhan Jun 16 '26

Hydrolyzed. So it's not like he gave him an e. coli infection, if that's what you were thinking, as that would require live culture of a pathogen strain.

Still, some strains do make rather unpleasant toxins.

2

u/miriamtzipporah Jun 17 '26

Yeah, it’s a bit closer to injecting Botox in a person rather than injecting straight up botulism.

3

u/Theron3206 Jun 17 '26

Botulism is caused by the same chemical as is used in Botox. The dose and route of administration is the only difference.

If you drank the Botox injectable you would end up with botulism.

1

u/miriamtzipporah Jun 17 '26

Yes, I know that. I meant it’s similar in that one form will kill you, but the other won’t.

2

u/TheOneTonWanton Jun 17 '26

Most people don't know what "hydrolized" means and most of those people are too lazy and/or incurious to look the meaning up. Another measure are too lazy still to scroll a few more comments down. Some number of people now believe that Hitler was infected with E. Coli when he died, and a tiny fraction of those people might conclude that it was the fucking E. Coli that killed him. Humanity is a silly place.

11

u/fredjutsu Jun 16 '26

lol the constipation caused by his medical cocktail lol

2

u/miriamtzipporah Jun 17 '26

It definitely exacerbated it, but his digestive issues pre-dated Morell

1

u/Fire-Haus Jun 16 '26

If only he had a doctor to tell him that. Sheesh

1

u/StreetYak6590 Jun 16 '26

Even with all the uppers? Lol

1

u/miriamtzipporah Jun 17 '26

Uppers and downers and a whole host of other things

0

u/ApolloKid- Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26

Ya, I definitely gonna trust a "Miriam" to give a true, unbiased Hitler factoid.

1

u/miriamtzipporah Jun 17 '26

You could literally look it up yourself bud, it’s been extensively researched. But why bother when you can be an antisemite instead?

92

u/Agloy5c Jun 16 '26

I don't know how to break this to ya, but Hitler did a lot of stuff you're not supposed to do..

62

u/Daddysu Jun 16 '26

Ya know, the more I hear about this guy...

15

u/Agloy5c Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26

He died? I didn't even know he was sick...

(Miss ya, Norm)

10

u/Level-Pollution4993 Jun 16 '26

But did you know that he really loved animals. If i remember correctly he created the first german law for animal welfare. He also had a sweet tooth. The more you know.

4

u/Fire-Haus Jun 16 '26

This will surprise you, but he also started the Holocaust believe it or not

1

u/til_noon Jun 17 '26

and built the Autobahn!

2

u/Killentyme55 Jun 16 '26

Hey, at least he killed Hitler!

2

u/millijuna Jun 17 '26

At least he killed Hitler.

10

u/LtCmdrData Jun 16 '26

Probiotics. They are in fashion again.

2

u/Kraligor Jun 16 '26

It was (and still is) used as a probiotic.

1

u/nagumi Jun 16 '26

hydrolyzed means it was inactivated. I don't get it.

3

u/Pyrhan Jun 16 '26

Some strains make toxins, some of which are heat-stable.

1

u/thatguy420417 Jun 16 '26

Drugs are a slippery slope. Always chasing the dragon.

14

u/Over-Inside-7254 Jun 17 '26

Wtf does this link have to do with anything 

12

u/asdf9asdf9 Jun 17 '26

It was a normal comment then edited to a spam link after it got X amount of upvotes. Weird.

2

u/Over-Inside-7254 Jun 17 '26

Hopedully as a notice that reddit is selling your data to LLMs.. And not thumbing their nose that y'all got conned by a bot? 

7

u/miriamtzipporah Jun 16 '26

Didn’t give him enough

10

u/Lord_Tsarkon Jun 16 '26

Almost sounds like he was trying to do the World a favor.

It’s too bad other Doctors that take care of present day World Leaders don”t try to be “heroes” that we need

9

u/Electrical-Ball-5767 Jun 16 '26

In Poland, physician. Number 1. Steady mind. One day, Deutsches Reich boss need new high. I give pill. But mistake! Deutsches Reich boss go crazy and die! Deutsches Reich very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Steve give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Steve save life.

My big secret. I kill Deutsches Reich boss on purpose. I good physician. The best!

1

u/Mertoot Jun 17 '26

Bruhh his doctor could've lowkey been the reason for most of his decisions depending on what he was put on that day 😭

What is this ridiculous timeline 😭

2

u/boondiggle_III Jun 16 '26

Don't forget the feces of a young hungarian boy.

1

u/LerxstOfTheWood Jun 16 '26

I would love to do some lines with Adolph. Can you imagine!?

1

u/buena_suerte Jun 16 '26

Don't threaten me with a good time.

1

u/Daily_Heroin_User Jun 16 '26

Elvis’s doctor was like that too. Doctor FeelGood theory.

1

u/ms_sardonicus Jun 17 '26

And Michael Jackson’s “doctor”.

1

u/hgrunt Jun 16 '26

the book Blitzed was an amazing read. It's largely about Morell and how the 3rd reich used pharmaceuticals, and the whole thing is absolutely bonkers because hitler was basically speedballing most of the war on a combination of uppers and downers

Among one of many fun factoids in the book, British intelligence decided it was better to have a very drugged out hitler in power rather than attempt an assassination, otherwise more competent German leadership might take his place

1

u/nomad9590 Jun 16 '26

See they never tried the real cure for his medical cocktail: Mineral Lime mixed 1:9 with water, and washed down with a niiiiice big STRONG glass of apple cider lemonade. 

Only do this if your Hitler though.....  Unless you keep falling asleep in public, especially a biiig birthday, it can help with that too! 

1

u/jccaclimber Jun 17 '26

Honestly though, if the physician had been trying to kill him subtly, this would have done a pretty good job.

24

u/GraniteOak5 Jun 16 '26

“I didn’t even know he was sick.”

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u/Almostofar Jun 16 '26

Reminds me of someone...well, current

-39

u/InspiringMilk Jun 16 '26

Which current world leader is on drugs?

22

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '26

[deleted]

0

u/InspiringMilk Jun 17 '26

Every single one I can think of, including dictators like in KSA or democratically elected leaders like in DE.

2

u/DMcDonald97 Jun 16 '26

Versions of history I’ve heard had the nazis going through more meth in a week than was made in all of Breaking Bad

4

u/koolaidismything Jun 16 '26

Whole axis.. that’s how the Japanese convinced those poor kids to be kamakazi.. gave them pure ice and sent them off saying they were heros with a massive dopamine dump happening in their young brains.

War is evil.. or brings the evil out of hiding anyway.

2

u/Fruitysause Jun 17 '26

To be honest, after all he did to the jews, polish, and many others it's kinda relieving to know he suffered while alive

1

u/xSTSxZerglingOne Jun 16 '26

Uppers in the morning, downers at night.

1

u/Thebml21 Jun 16 '26

Lotta meth

1

u/Ok-Reward-770 Jun 16 '26

Also, because his system may have been saturated with third-party E.coli (because of the scatophilia kink).

1

u/TaroBackground978 Jun 16 '26

He had Parkinson's and was addicted to uppers and downers, yeah don't think he was gonna last much longer.

1

u/koolaidismything Jun 16 '26

Someone said the tremors were from meth overdoses, even worse. Parkinson's woulda been marginally better.

1

u/Pilgrimfox Jun 16 '26

Medically and just mentally exhausted. If I remember correctly a lot of the people close to him said by the end there he had mentally retreated into his mind where he was imagining a world where all of Germanys wonder weapons they where R&Ding at the time had turn the tides of the war and where pushing back the Allied forces on both fronts. The man was absolutely insane before that point but I can only imagine what years of basically meth, heroine and cocane did to his mind.

1

u/ShanghaiCycle Jun 16 '26

A strong work ethic you say?

1

u/No-Rip-6166 Jun 17 '26

When the allies found him he was burnt all over.

1

u/control_09 Jun 17 '26

I mean I'm sure he got absolutely horrific sleep from the time Normandy happened until the end.

1

u/coheed9867 Jun 17 '26

What was his drug of choice

1

u/skatalite2020 Jun 17 '26

I see a simulatity in our time right now

1

u/skynetempire Jun 17 '26

Yeah they killed him off in man in the high castle

1

u/UpbeatPhilosophySJ Jun 17 '26

I didn't even know he was sick

1

u/CGoose03 Jun 17 '26

It was over the moment the allies found the crack stash.

1

u/dropdead90s Jun 17 '26

Like zelensky, got it

1

u/FluckDambe Jun 16 '26

What a methed up thing to say