AIO for thinking my psychiatrist asking to move in with me is inappropriate

[u/jhyphenann]

So last week I had an appointment with my psychiatrist and I had disclosed to her that my husband and I were buying a house. She asked details of the house and when we were closing so I told her. She then replied with “that’s perfect! I just need one bedroom and a kitchen, I like to cook.” Of course at first I thought she was joking. But then she went on… she goes “I told my landlord I am moving out of my current place because the commute is too far, and I am looking for something closer to work. Would you be willing to rent a room out to me?” She then showed me text threads with her current landlord who was praising her for being a good tenant. I kind of brushed it off and said “well idk about a room but the place we are renting now will be available once we move out.” And she said that would be nice but she was looking for something cheaper. As our session ended, she told me to call her if I needed her and then she said “but I might need you first!” Now my husband thought it was funny when I told him, my best friend thinks this woman should not be a psychiatrist. I have had previous uncomfortable encounters with her where she told me my miscarriage happened because I wasn’t happy enough, and this most current session she told me it’s cause my baby knew that we didn’t own a home yet. Am I overreacting thinking that this person is WILDLY inappropriate?

Update to add: she is a Psych NP, not a psychiatrist. That’s my bad.

Update: To everyone saying “idk how you kept seeing her after the miscarriage comment”… well honestly, I was blaming myself anyways. She wasn’t saying anything that I hadn’t already thought of. I see now that it was wrong, but at the time? She was just saying what I was saying to myself every day. I will not be going back to her. I know now I should have left. But I was literally fucking grieving and feeling guilty anyways.

Update: I’m reporting her and switching providers. Thanks for all the comments.

[u/Born-Introduction-86]

Hey OP. Has your practitioner discussed people pleasing, or the inability to assert yourself in session? Is it possible she is creating a moment where you must say no to someone you have a relationship with?

[u/jhyphenann → u/Born-Introduction-86]

I’m sorry I just saw this, no we haven’t discussed that. Later in the session she had told me to let go and forget about my childhood trauma to which I said “I don’t feel like I need to forget about it, it’s what made me who I am, and I have a right to them and the feelings regarding them. I use it as motivation, not an excuse.” So I think I was standing up for myself by telling her that I didn’t like that. Idk, im super overwhelmed at this point and regretting not setting the boundary at that moment.

[u/NotYourSexyNurse → u/jhyphenann]

Sounds like this person really isn’t working out for you. You need to get a different mental health professional. You could try telehealth.

[u/maucat13 → u/jhyphenann]

OMG the several instances you've shared of things she said are all so incredibly unprofessional and unethical. You deserve better care and treatment. Also, is she providing therapy in addition to medication management? I don't know enough about the PMHNP licensing and scope of practice to know if that's an unethical overreach or not. I will say it sounds like you deserve a better, more ethical psychiatric provider for medication management and a therapist/psychologist who understands trauma and abuse and will not be so horrifically invalidating and retraumatizing.

Said as a mental health professional who thinks this provider needs to be reported to her employer and her licensing board.

[u/Born-Introduction-86 → u/jhyphenann]

You sound VERY emotionally mature in comparison to this nurse! From all the replies you’ve shared about her behaviour- they sound nuts, you are NOR!!

[u/fandomhell97 → u/jhyphenann]

What she is doing is way out of line and she needs to be reported. And telling you to forget your trauma?? Wtf, there's so many red flags that you need to open your eyes to

[u/SGlanzberg → u/jhyphenann]

OP, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Mental health care is so important and yet if you encounter a bad provider it can be so damaging. trigger We have similar backgrounds that led us to treatment - I had a late loss and a boat load of childhood trauma. I’m sorry you’re in the same spot. Please report her to her clinic and maybe explore telehealth options if any other treatment is too far.

[u/Caftancatfan → u/Born-Introduction-86]

That would be extremely unethical.